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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think servants could show more gratitude

128 replies

QueenOfTheAlley · 02/03/2015 14:19

I went to a lot of trouble catching a mouse for them and took it home still alive so that they could play with it before eating it.

Servant1 picked me up to put me outside so I dropped the mouse at Servant2's feet. It ran behind the cooker and she chased me out of the house yelling.

If that's all the thanks I get I don't know why I bother!

OP posts:
DarkHeart · 03/03/2015 20:27

I also took a shit in the bath once and my servant was not impressed.she kept muttering about taking me back but I think she was joking! She also doesn't appreciate my presents and never shares them with me.

albertcamus · 03/03/2015 20:38

I've got a body-double two doors away ... comes in very handy. They were all spooked last year when their manservant reversed his car while we were hiding underneath. I got away with all my lives intact, but my mate had to use one of his up ... he's only got eight left now. It was funny to see him leap out of his car not knowing whether he was going to have to tell my servants he'd squashed me, or his own furby. And they think they're clever calling him Lucky cos he's a black cat ... losers !

susiedaisy · 03/03/2015 20:40

I also took a shit in the bath once right over the plug hole in fact, I squeezed my way in to the bathroom through a tiny gap in the door, the big female servant was also taking a shit in her big china bowl. She was not happy at all. But I don't understand her dismay as I was only showing solidarity towards my human servant familyHmm

HSMMaCM · 03/03/2015 20:44

I spent all night wrestling a rabbit through my special little door pnce and as soon as they saw it they threw it out!

AnneElliott · 03/03/2015 21:17

My servants do not know their place. The man servant prods me the minute I fall asleep, just because I make a funny noise. I am not amused!

Another time, I brought the same mouse back inside 3 times. Were they grateful! No they were not.

middleagedbread · 04/03/2015 07:19

One of my pleasures that I do regularly to the big servant to teach him his place is to stand at the front door mewing and scratching. He has to get up from his computer and come and open the door to let me out (the other servant has my measure and ignores me but I get her back by deliberately sitting on her hands when she's on the computer so she can't type). But get this, I don't actually want to go out so just sit there. He stands there waiting and then I get up, stretch slowly and saunter back into the living room, sit down and lick my bum. It makes him so cross haha. I do so love the power!

albertcamus · 04/03/2015 07:53

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2977668/The-island-s-reigning-cats-no-dogs-Japanese-island-felines-outnumber-humans-six-one-introduced-kill-mice.html

I'd like a self-catering break here

But I know my servants would miss me if I left them

What would they do all day & night ?

Crocodopolis · 04/03/2015 09:47

Big cat here. My stupid servant was wearing a jumper last evening, so of course I had to give it acupuncture. Then I got my claw caught and when the servant tried to help me, I bit her.

She's so stupid she didn't get the message. I had to bite her three times before my stopped. Then I had to bite the jumper to show it who's boss.

I don't know if it helps, but our cousins across the pond also have trouble training their staff.

Two have made videos of their travails:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk Sad Cat Diary

and www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M7ibPk37_U Henri, a portrait of despair

emeraldislegirl · 04/03/2015 12:30

I brought one of the younger servants a rabbit for his birthday. He had just come home from a party with his friends and they were waiting for pizza and chips. There didn't seem nearly enough protein so I dashed out of the house and across to the field of rabbits.

I timed my arrival back perfectly. The pizzas had just been put on the table and the children were sitting down waiting. I trotted up with the rabbit and laid it near him.

There was a shriek and and a wail "is that bunny dead". I waited a minute but no one came over so I decided to show them how to start eating the head. One of the rabbit's eye came out so I picked it up and started to chew.

I was disturbed by 8 children screaming "gross" and running from the table. I just carried on eating. There was loads of pizza left so maybe they did want the rabbit.

The servant's DM and SIL didn't like their rabbits either. No taste or appreciation.

Tizwailor · 04/03/2015 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jcriyadh · 04/03/2015 14:52

You are all genius felines.

I try my best to help my slaves as much as possible. Once after the slaves had sat in the big water bowl having their once a day wash, gross! Big slave got out and started to "brush his teeth", whatever that is.

Anyway, you know how they hate it when we bring mice into the house, well, I suddenly noticed that a naked mouse had run up big slave's leg and was wriggling around at the top, you know between the two. I knew it needed to be evicted.

I ran over super stealthily, pounced and CAUGHT IT!! ??

Do you think he was appreciative? NO and I learned a few new words that day which I don't think were very loving.

Small slave nearly drowned in the water bowl, I was sent to the DOG House as a punishment

You can never win

Tanith · 04/03/2015 15:36

Well!! How ungrateful! And to think you refrained from disembowelling the naked mouse, too!

"Brushing my teeth" means they use an extension of their claws to enjoy a second helping of their last meal. It's quite a ritual and they have to do it at sunrise and sunset. Then they coat the remains with a foul smelling incense called Mint Fresh and sacrifice it to the gurgle monster in the bowl.

mysparkleismissing · 04/03/2015 16:26

Haha love this thread!

LokiBear · 04/03/2015 17:34

My servant doesn't like it when I join her I the bath, sit on her whilst she is on the loo, drag headless pigeons through the cat flap or suckle on her fluffy dressing gown. Ungrateful cow.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 04/03/2015 18:35

babygiraffe86,

I believe our American cousins have had some success with the red dot

To think servants could show more gratitude
albertcamus · 04/03/2015 18:37

This photo was a gross invasion of my privacy. I had ignored the insult of a fake mouse, and was trying to play it cool & show them I'm too old for toys, but they caught me :(

I only do the 'baby' act because the female slave is a sucker for giving me treats when I put it on.

The male one is harder to work, because he gets jealous that she loves me the most, so I scent mark his shoes just to rub it in.

Treat them mean, keep them keen.

To think servants could show more gratitude
QueenOfTheAlley · 04/03/2015 19:47

Neighbours are just as bad. They think they can stroke me just because I get close enough to have a sniff.

OP posts:
ancientbuchanan · 05/03/2015 00:35

I've developed a great game.

Next door has one of those stupid yappy things. it sleeps much if the day but then claims to have to protect them from foxes at night and screams and down the garden, irritating the neighbourhood.

Well, I've discovered that all I need to do is pat silently at their French doors and it goes mental. Jumps up and down howling the place off.

And sometimes I can get the same reaction just throwing my voice over.

Such fun. And he gets all the blame.

CunningCat · 05/03/2015 00:44

My servants say bad words when I leave half eaten mice on the door step in the morning, ungrateful buggers!!

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint · 05/03/2015 00:49

My servant needed distracting from the rat she didn't like so I put aside every vestige of dignity to make her laugh by pretending to pole dance (I still shudder at the utter humiliation).

To think servants could show more gratitude
XLIX · 05/03/2015 00:54

I have my female staff trained to perfection, she gives over in bed as soon as I jump up, she knows I must have fresh food on the daily, she understands why I must stand on her head to look out the window when the postie comes...she is intelligent in her own clumsy human way....I often treat her a long session of my dulcet purring and leave nice furball in her flip flop to show my loooooveeee..but that MAN! Well, let's just say, revenge is a half eaten mouse thrown up on your pillow..

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 05/03/2015 04:45

I like to play hide and seek with my mistress. She always wins for some reason ...

To think servants could show more gratitude
XLIX · 05/03/2015 08:38

Moose, brilliant!! Is that your lovely cat having a peek at the great outdoors??

Ohh, err..

Right, indeed, my female staff seems alarmed when I take a snooze in tub and jump into her lap to say Hello when she is having her 2am visit to her litter box. I never ever see her cover either! Disgusting..

Lweji · 05/03/2015 11:49

My servant doesn't know how to play properly. She suddenly stops walking or slows down as I'm about to launch my attack on her and not only I miss her, as I often hit something else instead. My head hurts. Sad

RabbitsarenotHares · 05/03/2015 13:18

I sympathise, OP. I, myself, had a run-in with my female slave just last night. I'd caught a VERY yummy shrew in the garden and brought it home to play with. It was cold outside and I didn't want to stay out if I could help it.

Well, my slave came over and I thought she wanted to play, so I showed her where my shrew was hiding and she brought a box over. It was so much fun, playing hunting with my slave (cos although she is my slave I do have a level of affection for her, and love spending time with her).

So, we chased the shrew into the kitchen and it eventually tucked itself into the clothes that were lying on the floor next to the horrid noisy thing (why do they insist on having so many noisy objects around the place? They hurt my ears!). You can guess what happened next, can't you? She picked up the clothes, together with my shrew, and put them OUTSIDE the house. And she locked me in so I couldn't go and retrieve it!

Turns out the insolent wench wasn't really trying to hunt my shrew at all, she just wanted to save it!!!!! WTAF?!?!? What's the fun in that?

My male slave is away at the moment. I'm sure I must be wasting away in his absence cos he gives me far more treats than the female. She is in need of further training, I fear. He is funny, though. Thinks he can hunt better than I can. But he cheats, and uses strange things called 'traps', whilst I use teeth and claws. I am thus, obviously, the superior hunter.