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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that no, I don't want to watch cbeebies all day

153 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 13:33

I have a DS who has just turned 11 months old and he has very limited interest in the TV unless he's climbing up it or banging his toys against it.

I will very frequently have the TV on in the background when I'm playing with DS but this is mainly so I can catch up on my recorded programmes by half listening to them as it's rare I actually get the chance to properly sit down and watch them.

Sometimes though, if DS is happily entertaining himself with his books or toys I will settle on the sofa and watch TV with a cup of tea for twenty minutes.

I have never seen a problem with any of this.

However, on three occasions now I have had friends visit (without children) and whilst they are here I obviously have the TV volume down but it's still showing a recorded programme that I'm semi-watching as I like background noise plus it means I can still take occasional peeks at the screen to follow the storyline.

During their visits, when I left the room to get them a drink or go the loo or something I returned to the living room to see they had put cbeebies on and turned the volume up so that "DS could hear it"

I can only assume that on all of these occasions they thought that if the TV was on in the background then it should be on a channel that is designed for children.

I wouldn't mind so much if I returned to find cbeebies on but that DS was engrossed in it, but he never ever is. He's paying no notice to it whatsoever.

It really annoys me, their assumption that DS wants to watch cbeebies or that I'm doing him some kind of disservice by it not being on.

I also think it's pretty rude to change someone's TV channel when they leave the room

The only time DS really watches the TV is when I'm watching The Chase

I know cbeebies is likely to be a Godsend as DS gets older but do I really have to have it on all day just because I have a child??!!

It drives me mad!!

I may start hiding the TV remote when these specific friends visit

OP posts:

puddymuddles · 01/03/2015 15:39

I also think it is rude to have TV on when you have guests and I think a child (even as young as 11 months) shouldn't be around adult TV programmes even if he appears not to be listening.

TheSpottedZebra · 01/03/2015 15:49

What was the programme?

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 15:58

Masterchef

OP posts:

LogonMounstuart · 01/03/2015 15:59

I agree with everyone else- the TV on when people are visiting is really rude. I am shocked though that there are people that have their TV on all the time even if they aren't watching it.

Can't be good for small children's communication. Presumably this is how you raise grown ups who can't cope with silence. That's no good for children/young adults who need to learn to be comfortable with quiet for studying, down time, rest, sleep, just not wittering all the time to fill the silence!

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 16:02

That's a good point logon about learning to cope with silence. My DH really struggles to fall asleep unless there is TV background noise. My mom cannot fall asleep unless her bedroom TV is on.

OP posts:

GogoGobo · 01/03/2015 16:03

YABU to have adult programming on with your baby in the room and YABU to have TV on when your friends come to visit

stargirl1701 · 01/03/2015 16:03

I would never dream of having the TV on when visitors come round. I'm with the majority of PP - turn off the TV.

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 16:04

How is Masterchef harmful to my baby though gogo?

It's hardly like I'm watching Fifty Shades or American Sniper in his presence

OP posts:

sofatastic · 01/03/2015 16:06

You would not cope at our house, no TV in the lounge. Having the TV on with visitors is rude. As has already been mentioned, it is bad for childrens' speech and language development to have the tv on in the background all the time.

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 16:08

No TV in the lounge Where is it then?

We only have the one TV in the house, I can't be doing with TVs in the bedrooms

OP posts:

fattymcfatfat · 01/03/2015 16:09

I hate having the tv on all the time and my dcs rarely watch it. I do watch jk though and a few programmes at night. DD is 14 months and wants to play all day and DS is 6 and would rather sit and read (he watched show me show me followed by jk everyday as a baby and its done absolutely no harm to him)

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 16:11

I just googled the effect of TV on a child's speech development and found an article in the Telegraph. It was really interesting to read and will make me reconsider my need for background noise

OP posts:

Ijustdontknowwhattodowithmysel · 01/03/2015 16:15

I think it's SO rude to have the tv on when people come round. If people are staying over maybe Sunday morning telly, or if kids are being raucous as a tool to occupy and calm them but I think it's inmensely crap when I go round to people's houses on and they just have Ceebeebies on all the time for their kids. I always ask if they mind turning it off if we are round for a play date as I find it as distracting as my children do.

I would never invite someone round and then half listen to them whislt in watching television. That's the height of rudeness for me and even worse than constant ceebeebies is just morning television.

if you have it on for company then you don't need it on when someone comes round, if you have it on because you are watching it then have some manners and turn it off and listen to your visitors.

YABU

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/03/2015 16:17

'Background noise' drives me mad. If we're watching a particular programme or if it's the DC having half an hour watching something then fine, but I wouldn't dream of just leaving it on if no-ones watching it.

I would think it slightly poor manners if someone left the TV on when we visited. That said, we go to other peoples houses all the time and no-one ever has.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 01/03/2015 16:18

gogo why is it unreasonable to have adult programs on with a child present? All adult programs??

I get that constant tv is bad, but it seems a bizarre concept that watching the weather report / come dine with me / location location location with a child present is outright wrong.

sofatastic · 01/03/2015 16:19

We definitely do not have TVs in the bedrooms (nor kitchen nor bathroom). There is just no bloody need. We hardly watch it these days and it is no loss at all. Most of I what's on is just nonsense. Occasionally the children watch cbeebis or ds watches some sports.

sofatastic · 01/03/2015 16:20

Cupid -because they are prioritising a screen over a real live person?

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 16:26

People have televisions in their bathrooms????

OP posts:

Seriouslyffs · 01/03/2015 16:28

Fair play OP! The hive mind has spoken and you've taken it on the chin.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 01/03/2015 16:28

It's not really a case of priorities though.

If my DD has been up since 7am, being played with, read to, chatted to, etc, me watching Judge Rinder for a bit at 2pm while she's happily banging some pans with a spoon is no worse than me putting Cbeebies on for a bit. I get that both are worse than no TV at all but saying having a tame adult program on while a child is in the room is worse than having children's programming is completely alien to me.

And as far as priorities go, it's not like a child suddenly becomes an unsupervised child once a TV is showing an adult program.

kim147 · 01/03/2015 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Totality22 · 01/03/2015 16:35

I have tv on all day, everyday but usually it's the radio though.

If people visit I don't turn it off... I'll either stick Sky News on or just leave some background music on. I would never dream of having something I wanted to watch on whilst people were here, even if it's on in the background --let alone actually
watch the programme over their shoulder--

To the MW upthread..... I had the tv on when my midwives came (and the health visitor) but that was too keep toddler quiet!!!

Totality22 · 01/03/2015 16:36

strike through fail

Buglife · 01/03/2015 16:46

I'm sure the OP knows her friends well enough to know they aren't going to be bothered by having the TV on. I've gone to many a friends house and the TV is on. I wouldn't if we were sitting having a meal or someone was really needing to talk about something, but close friends just popping round don't require some kind of ceremony. It wouldn't occur to me to go to someone's house and sit there being judgy and feeling hard done by because I wasn't the sole centre of attention either!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 01/03/2015 16:55

It's not about being judge Buglife. If someone comes to see me I assume they want to chat/socialise rather than watch TV. My instinct is just to switch it off when someone comes round so I can hear/concentrate on what they're saying! Like I say I've never been to a friends and they've kept the TV on, since I was a teenager anyway.

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