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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that no, I don't want to watch cbeebies all day

153 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 13:33

I have a DS who has just turned 11 months old and he has very limited interest in the TV unless he's climbing up it or banging his toys against it.

I will very frequently have the TV on in the background when I'm playing with DS but this is mainly so I can catch up on my recorded programmes by half listening to them as it's rare I actually get the chance to properly sit down and watch them.

Sometimes though, if DS is happily entertaining himself with his books or toys I will settle on the sofa and watch TV with a cup of tea for twenty minutes.

I have never seen a problem with any of this.

However, on three occasions now I have had friends visit (without children) and whilst they are here I obviously have the TV volume down but it's still showing a recorded programme that I'm semi-watching as I like background noise plus it means I can still take occasional peeks at the screen to follow the storyline.

During their visits, when I left the room to get them a drink or go the loo or something I returned to the living room to see they had put cbeebies on and turned the volume up so that "DS could hear it" Hmm

I can only assume that on all of these occasions they thought that if the TV was on in the background then it should be on a channel that is designed for children.

I wouldn't mind so much if I returned to find cbeebies on but that DS was engrossed in it, but he never ever is. He's paying no notice to it whatsoever.

It really annoys me, their assumption that DS wants to watch cbeebies or that I'm doing him some kind of disservice by it not being on.

I also think it's pretty rude to change someone's TV channel when they leave the room Grin

The only time DS really watches the TV is when I'm watching The Chase Grin

I know cbeebies is likely to be a Godsend as DS gets older but do I really have to have it on all day just because I have a child??!!

It drives me mad!!

I may start hiding the TV remote when these specific friends visit Grin

OP posts:
TerraNovice · 01/03/2015 14:34

There's seriously people who keep the telly on and "half-watch" it when they have visitors? That's so rude! I was always raised to believe that when you have guests you turn the TV off and it's something I still do, regardless of whether it's CBeebies or something I watch.

silveroldie2 · 01/03/2015 14:40

This has got to be a joke - of course you turn off the tv when visitors arrive.

AGirlCalledBoB · 01/03/2015 14:42

Yeah I think you just need to start turning it off when you have visitors.

Maybe they know you are watching the show and not giving them your full attention so they change it to cbebbies, something you won't watch and will actually give them attention.

I too am someone who likes a bit of background noise but i put the radio on. I won't sit and watch television. I just find it a little rude myself.

WindyAway · 01/03/2015 14:43

Another one who turns the TV off here, I find it rude. I can see why people find it normal though if that what they're used to, I grew up in a very tv focused family and they think it's strange now that we only have one TV. My parents always have one on in the kitchen, and keep asking me when we'll get one in our kitchen!
Dd is 2 and does watch TV if I need to distract her! But only for 30 mins at a time max.
I do know what you mean about background noise though, and I did used to love getting ready for work with gmtv on in the background, but I'm used to my TV-less life now!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 01/03/2015 14:44

I don't often have the TV on in the daytime but would always, always switch it off if anyone came round! People come round to talk/socialise, not keep an eye on the TV. YANBU about CBeebies though, an 11 month old doesn't need it on.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 01/03/2015 14:49

I don't have the TV on if I have guests over. It'd feel rude.

No, I wouldn't change channels in someone else's house, but I'd not expect them to be watching TV while I was visiting either.

CrispyFern · 01/03/2015 14:52

DH and I went to dinner at some neighbours and they gave us our plates to eat from our knees while The Voice was on.

We raised eyebrows at each other.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 14:54

The thing is these friends have the TV on when I visit so it isn't something they consider rude. Amongst all my family and friends, the TV is not turned off during visits, it just isn't the norm.

I can understand why it would seem rude now that I've read these replies but turning the TV off certainly isn't the 'done thing' in these parts Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 14:56

crispy - even I can see that's pretty rude. I don't like the TV being on when I'm eating, even if it's just me and DH.

My mom has a TV in her kitchen and I find it really annoying that I can hear it whilst we are sitting down to eat.

OP posts:
RufusTheReindeer · 01/03/2015 14:56

Very rude to have the tv in when guests are there

And I wouldn't have it on all day with small children either (though the tv is permanently on now!! Grin)

RufusTheReindeer · 01/03/2015 14:57

writer

Sorry cross post Smile

merseyparadise · 01/03/2015 15:03

I have never found it rude for people to have their tv on if I visit...I would just expect the volume to be turned down a bit so you can hear what's being said. Your house, your rules in my book I'm afraid.
I would find it more rude of your friend to turn your telly over without permission, I find that a bit odd, I wouldn't even do that in any of my families houses (and we are quite close).

MsAnndrist · 01/03/2015 15:09

Are people's lives really so dominated by TV these days that they can't even be arsed to turn them off and concentrate on having an actual conversation when they have guests?

bettertomorrow · 01/03/2015 15:15

Yes I totally feel your pain. People who dont have children or have children who have grown up, seems to think it is okay to put your child infront of the TV. Dont get so wound up about it. What I do, is either, turn off the TV while they are around or in my case just put on classical music on in the background or nursery ryhmes just for backgound noise. No point trying to explain yourself, because its just a waste of energy, I find. Just enjoy the visit :)

Enough27 · 01/03/2015 15:17

Isn't it bad for a child's eyes/concentration to have the screen on all the time, even if they are not watching constantly? I'm sure I read that somewhere, but may be wrong.

I must say, no one I know has the tv on all the time, whether guests are there or not. They only put it on to watch a specific programme. I think constant background tv would drive me mad. Somehow the radio or a CD are different. Different strokes etc..

kim147 · 01/03/2015 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 01/03/2015 15:18

I went to a Christening once and the after party was in a lovely hall they had hired. It lasted for two hours and for the entire time they had a Nursery Rhyme CD playing over the speakers and it was torture Grin

OP posts:
GotToBeInItToWinIt · 01/03/2015 15:22

I read somewhere that it's not great to have the TV/radio on with a young baby as it distracts them and can delay language skills (or something), not sure if it was just another scaremongering DM article though.

TerraNovice · 01/03/2015 15:24

Well there are other CDs apart from nursery rhymes, shudder!

Fuckup · 01/03/2015 15:25

I've never met anyone in the real world who has a problem with the TV being on in the background if you visit, its pretty much the norm, certainly nothing to get upset about! yanbu op. I can't understand where people are coming from on issues like this tbh.

kim147 · 01/03/2015 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cariadlet · 01/03/2015 15:28

GotToBeInItToWinIt - you're right. There's loads of evidence about tv being bad for babies - both because they aren't focussing on the real world, and because the adults around the babies aren't focussing on them, talking to them etc.
Here's a link to one article.
www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Why-to-Avoid-TV-Before-Age-2.aspx

I think it's also worrying how many babies and toddlers are now given smartphones or tablets to keep them occupied. I'm sure there will be evidence in the future to show that is harming language development and social skills.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 01/03/2015 15:31

Thanks Cariad. DD is 15 months and I don't put the TV on in the day as she gets distracted by the colours/pictures.

Bellerina2 · 01/03/2015 15:32

I have to say that if I was visiting a friend and chatting to them and they kept taking "an occasional peek" at the TV then yes, I'd find that a bit rude.

Just turn the TV off when you have guests OP and then the problem of them switching channels to Cbeebies will be solved!

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 01/03/2015 15:33

Fuckup I've never met anyone in real life who would have the TV on when I went round unless id specifically gone to watch a film or something!