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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be leaving this country.

138 replies

xiaozhu · 27/02/2015 13:30

I'm 28, I live in London and have a good job in the City, which I've been doing for about four years now.

I've recently decided to relocate to Dubai for a much better-paid (tax-free) position.

My reasons: Aged 28 and after four years of (very hard - 100 hour weeks etc.) work I'm still not even close to paying off my debts, and at least another four or five years away from scraping together an OK deposit to put on a flat within commuting distance of my office. By the time I do save enough, I will be wanting to start a family and don't particularly relish the idea of raising my first child in a one bedroom flat in Catford (which is about what I could afford).

Perhaps my expectations are too high? My parents (the baby boom generation) had me aged 23, had no student debt and already lived in a three bedroom semi in the countryside. They had OK jobs but not on as high salaries (or hours) as I am now. By the time my mum was 32 they had four kids, and they have just retired aged 55 and have two houses, their dogs, cars and final salary pension schemes. I can only dream of this if I stay here.

I feel quite bitter about it, and I know I'm in a much better position than many people my age! But some have implied that I am putting money before 'soul' and contributing to the UK's brain drain.

What do you think?

OP posts:
ApocalypseThen · 27/02/2015 13:31

Dubai has a questionable quality of life for women (and slaves).

ChipDip · 27/02/2015 13:33

Why do you even care about other peoples opinionConfused they're not living your life.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 27/02/2015 13:34

Depends. Especially If you are female or not regarding Dubai. There's a lot to consider besides money.

My company sent an email round regarding some amazing jobs over there. I had to fight the urge to email back that even the annual turnover of the entire company would not be enough compensation for me to have to live in Dubai.

sweetfluffybunnies · 27/02/2015 13:34

I think you should do whatever makes you happy. I'm guessing Dubai needn't be forever.

However don't feel bitter towards your parents. They simply made the best of the situation they were in, exactly as you would have done, and indeed are doing.

Reekypear · 27/02/2015 13:36

I would counsel you in the strongest terms, from bitter personal experience, do not go there. In fact I'm giving you a very strong warning.

letsplayscrabble · 27/02/2015 13:37

What it costs to buy a one bedroom flat in Catford would probably still buy a 3 bed semi in the countryside. Good luck in Dubai. I hope you're not female as you might find it hard to close your eyes to how your fellow women are treated out there.

ilovesooty · 27/02/2015 13:38

Do what you like but if you want to post yet another inflammatory thread to complain about baby boomers at least have the decency to be honest about it.

Nomama · 27/02/2015 13:39

Thanks, ILS. That was my thought, precisely!

youngestisapyscho · 27/02/2015 13:40

My female 23 yr old cousin lives and works in Dubai and she absolutely loves it! She has loads of friends out there and seems to have a great social life from what I see on FB. I suppose it depends who you work for maybe and if you know people already out there?

Number3cometome · 27/02/2015 13:42

Reekypear

I think that is a little unfair - you may have had bad experiences there, but I know many women (including close family) who have lived and worked there for years and absolutely loved it!

The only complaints I have heard is the air quality when there are dust storms.

OH lived there for a year, he had to come home as he was made redundant, but he loved it (yes aware he is not a woman)

It's a good place to go and work for a short time and earn a lot of money.

Nothing wrong with that.

Original poster
xiaozhu · 27/02/2015 13:42

Dubai is beside the point - I've weighed up the pros and cons of that particular location and have still decided to go.

It's more that I'm interested in what people think of the situation for young people (particularly women) back here in the UK and especially London in terms of living standards, prospects etc. Is anyone else having a similar experience?

I'm not bitter towards my parents: they were wonderful and always so careful with money which is also one of the reasons they are in a good position now. I'm more bitter towards the Government, who doesn't seem to care much about the younger generation because it's the baby boomers that vote.

I would love to live in the countryside btw! But my job ties me to the city at least for a while.

OP posts:
BertieBrabinger · 27/02/2015 13:43

No offence, but your very good job in the city can't be very good if you are working 100 hour weeks and you still cannot pay off debt.

I am a firm believer in the idea that wherever you go, there you are; that we take our problems and abilities to solve them with us. There are so many things you could do before you consider leaving the UK for a country with one of the worst records of human rights abuses on the planet.

First, why the debt? What can you do about it? Why the job with ridiculous hours and what can you do about that? Why must you live in London - there are other places outside the confines of the M25 you know.

Also, why Dubai? Just for the tax free aspect? That seems one hell of a price to pay if you ask me. I think you have many options before you do that.

Nancy66 · 27/02/2015 13:46

I never believe anyone who says they work 100 hours a week !

Groovester · 27/02/2015 13:46

Dubai is amazing. I have worked out there and loved it. I'd recommend the UAE to anyone.

Original poster
xiaozhu · 27/02/2015 13:46

ilovesooty: No, I have nothing against baby boomers and I suppose in a way I am doing exactly what they all did, which was to make the best out of their situation.

It's more that being raised by baby boomers raised my expectations about what my life in the UK would be like, and I'm so disappointed that it won't be.

OP posts:
Bailey101 · 27/02/2015 13:47

I lived in Dubai for a few years, and will be heading back out there at some point. I love it there, and can't wait to get back! It's very different to 'little England' but it's the sort of place that will be as happy or as miserable as you make it.

ilovesooty · 27/02/2015 13:48

So it is just a thread to complain about how unfair the government is and to point out how much better off baby boomers are.

wowfudge · 27/02/2015 13:49

Well for starters you don't need to take a job where you are expected to work 100 hours a week nor do you need to Iive and work in London. What job do you do in the City?

Don't blame a generation that does vote for the problems of one that doesn't - very simplistic argument imo.

Original poster
xiaozhu · 27/02/2015 13:49

To be fair, I don't do 100 hour weeks every week! Just occasionally. Still, occasionally is enough! Standard week is more like 70 hours.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 27/02/2015 13:50

Cross post. So you're posting about how disappointed you are. Comes to the same thing really I think. It will certainly attract posts from the anti baby boomers on here.

Original poster
xiaozhu · 27/02/2015 13:51

ilovesooty: No, although it seem as though you're determined that it should be. What I want to know is what other peoples' experiences are, and whether they feel the same.

For the last time, I am not blaming any generation. I'm not sure who is to 'blame', and I'm not sure pointing the finger is helpful at all.

wowfudge, I am a corporate lawyer.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 27/02/2015 13:51

70 is still very long hours: what is it that you do?

Nancy66 · 27/02/2015 13:52

If buying a property in the UK is really important to you and working overseas is the only way you can achieve that, then do it.

If you hate it you can come back.

Original poster
xiaozhu · 27/02/2015 13:53

ilovesooty: yes, I suppose my question is also do you think I'm BU to be so disappointed?

OP posts:
wowfudge · 27/02/2015 13:56

X post. I am a law graduate. Universities push law grads to take corporate jobs. The imagined prestige and the money come at a price. When I decided to study law that wasn't what I imagined myself doing and I didn't want to go into that so I didn't go to law school. I used a degree which is highly regarded to do something more personally fulfilling.

I may not have earned mega bucks, but I have an enjoyable life. Bought my first house when I was in my late twenties. I do work in a profession where my degree is relevant btw.