To be leaving this country.

[xiaozhu]

I'm 28, I live in London and have a good job in the City, which I've been doing for about four years now.

I've recently decided to relocate to Dubai for a much better-paid (tax-free) position.

My reasons: Aged 28 and after four years of (very hard - 100 hour weeks etc.) work I'm still not even close to paying off my debts, and at least another four or five years away from scraping together an OK deposit to put on a flat within commuting distance of my office. By the time I do save enough, I will be wanting to start a family and don't particularly relish the idea of raising my first child in a one bedroom flat in Catford (which is about what I could afford).

Perhaps my expectations are too high? My parents (the baby boom generation) had me aged 23, had no student debt and already lived in a three bedroom semi in the countryside. They had OK jobs but not on as high salaries (or hours) as I am now. By the time my mum was 32 they had four kids, and they have just retired aged 55 and have two houses, their dogs, cars and final salary pension schemes. I can only dream of this if I stay here.

I feel quite bitter about it, and I know I'm in a much better position than many people my age! But some have implied that I am putting money before 'soul' and contributing to the UK's brain drain.

What do you think?

I live in a 1 bed flat in catford and I really like it here. Don't be catford-ist. Although I am planning to move outside the m25 so we can get a bigger house to bring up the dc and commute to London for work.

You'd do well to remember the 70s and 80s were far from idyllic for large, large swathes of the population and count the blessings and aspirations you've been born with, frankly.

^This

YANBU to want a bit of adventure abroad and the chance to earn some more money. Your late twenties, before you have family committments, is definitely a good time to do that. YWBU however, to think that the problems of inequalities of wealth and exorbitant property prices, are not going to be as stark overseas. All too often, in many popular expat hotspots, they can be significantly worse ...

I believe Manchester's quite nice at this time of year...

OP, you are getting a drubbing because you're a) Doing the job you do, b) Bemoaning you lot whilst doing the (well paid) job you do and c) Still a whipper compared to most of the posters on here d) See points a, b & c.

Look, corporate lawyers who want to move to Dubai at the age of 28 to revel in the tax-free salaries whilst ignoring the human-rights abuses are not going to get an easy ride, you're also showing a distinct lack of self-awareness for someone who is ostensibly intelligent.

London's an expensive place to live, if that doesn't tie in with your expectations with how your life should be at this juncture compared to your parents', then go, fill your boots, don't look back. There should be no judgement, it's your life to do with at you see fit.

I would say though that your generation has expectations in other ways that your parents couldn't even dream of, I imagine you travel, or have travelled a lot, mainly for pleasure, you probably eat out a great deal & if you eat at home have a huge choice of what to eat. Your wardrobe is probably bursting with options. You grew up on the idea of the mini-break & me-time & because you're (fucking) worth it. You have devices with processing power that could not even have been imagined in the 1970's.

Your life is very different to your parents, you have prioritised different things, you have pleasures and options that would be utterly alien to your 1970s counterpart.

Don't be pissed off because you can't afford a house, be pleased you have the world at your fingertips.

(Or move up North & you could possibly do both, the World don't shrivel outside the M25 you know).

I question your choice of location...dubai. Have you visited. Very, very different from the uk. (Not been myself just had friend who now returned). You could leave london. We did not looked back yet although do miss parts of london...

Just wanted to say op that I never had any issues with being white and female in the Emirates.
Be respectful and you'll be grand. People are lovely - I honestly never met any horrors. I had the best social life, met lifelong friends (lots of nationalities) and loved Arabic culture.

There is a Chinese saying that goes something like... If you compare yourself to others, you will get angry enough to die! (Or something like that, my Chinese is a bit rusty...)

You should try my life for a minute because seemingly, I have the lifestyle in London that you want... I have a beautiful 4-bedroom house in a zone 2/3 part of London. My 90-foot garden backs onto a park (unheard of in London) and I am a 10/15-minute train ride into Central London. I also have...

• An ex I am trying to divorce who left me and my two young DCs 18 months after we bought this 'forever' home

• A mortgage I cannot take on by myself, on a house which I have to sell by a certain time next year so my ex can have his equity to buy a new place with the OW he left us for

• A stressful job that I was on the verge of quitting but have now been told I will lose anyway as my company is being sold...

• No idea how I can afford my next home cos guess what? I might not have a job next month and I can't even move out of London cos my ex won't allow it...

Still wanna swap lives? Other than my two DCs, I dream of starting over again at 28 with no responsibilities and the freedom to go where I want and do what I want...

Still, I am happy and excited as I am now looking at new opportunities and a fresh start! My point is be careful what you wish for and stop comparing your lives... My parents are of the baby boomer age in another country and the house they bought when I was 10 and still have is now worth over 5X what they pay for it. They live now in a beautiful apartment with fantastic facilities that my DCs and I enjoy once every two years when we visit.they have worked hard their whole lives and provided me and my sibling with everything we wanted. And I am very happy for them that life is just that bit easier for them now! Enjoy Dubai, I went there on a business trip earlier this year and loved it!

xiaozhu is a journalist

Writing an article about how tough it is here, blah..blah..

General Election year. Don't get sucked in. Read the opening post....like has to move away to Dubai to pay off debts....ffs. Doesn't represent any of us.

My mother never had any issues in Dubai as a white woman while she was there. My parents earned an absolute shitload while they were there as well. It isn't perfect but neither is the UK. As Cromwell said - in the name of God, go!

Just read the first page and would like to point that if your parents are 55, they are not baby boomers. Baby boomers are the generation born in the first years after the second world war.
Also you work in the City, that is like working for the real government, the City is what calls the shots in this world, not old people.

Totally agree with hound of the baskervilles. Your parents were happy to save money by moving out of London and probably didn't have regular meals out, coffees out, haircuts and beauty treatments, holidays. They may well have embraced these habits as they grew older and more financially secure but would have been focused on getting a secure home for their children first.

Our generation are more spoiled and have higher expectations.

You are in a slightly different position given your dhs circumstances as your dad was probably the main earner when you were young and they probably didn't have any commitments outside the nuclear family. So you aren't comparing like for like. However you don't seem to see your dh as much of a partner in this.

If it helps at your stage of life I can remember having similar thoughts. Ten years later I was living happily with 2 dc outside London, nice area easy commute good schools, and managing pretty well in a 4 bed semi on my dhs salary which is probably similar to yours plus a small part time salary of mine.

We actually now live in another country in a massive house with a pool and I don't work but do have to watch the pennies very carefully in other area. We moved for family reasons but I don't think the uk system is so bad that we will never move back.

Go to Dubai and save some money, if you want to, or if you don't then lower your expectations and move out of London!

If you want to go, do so. It's fine to live there as a woman. Just leave before April otherwise you will pay tax on your first year income out there (unless that's changed in the last 10yrs)

There is nothing wrong with wanting an enjoyable life rather than an existence. You might struggle on your return to settle in, life is very easy in the ME. I've lived in 8 countries and feel a misfit now, I have no clue where I would like to settle. But I want to give my DC the benefits of working abroad, that we just couldn't afford in the UK.

DH was looking at a particular job to see what they pay is in the UK just now, for a senior position it was 30k. He will never move back. It is a joke that salaries have not increased in line with living cost in the 6yrs since we left. Yes he's lost out in a family relationship, but sometimes, the grass is greener somewhere else.

Even I, without a college degree, I earn double what I did in the UK, in spite of a maternity leave and some mths of disability

No, not a journalist!

Well, it seems like I have my answer: the overwhelming message I'm getting is to stop comparing my life to other peoples, because there's always someone worse off and always someone better off. Perhaps i do have an oer developwd sense of entitlement.

But, I will be doing what I think most people (despite some of the holier than thou comments on here) would do and play the hand I've been dealt and go to Dubai to make the most of it. It will mean we can buy a house, and dh can study for a degree he couldn't do in China (due to censorship) and we can continue to care for my PIL.

Thanks for all the comments. They've really made me think, and I will stop moaning I promise!