To be leaving this country.

[xiaozhu]

I'm 28, I live in London and have a good job in the City, which I've been doing for about four years now.

I've recently decided to relocate to Dubai for a much better-paid (tax-free) position.

My reasons: Aged 28 and after four years of (very hard - 100 hour weeks etc.) work I'm still not even close to paying off my debts, and at least another four or five years away from scraping together an OK deposit to put on a flat within commuting distance of my office. By the time I do save enough, I will be wanting to start a family and don't particularly relish the idea of raising my first child in a one bedroom flat in Catford (which is about what I could afford).

Perhaps my expectations are too high? My parents (the baby boom generation) had me aged 23, had no student debt and already lived in a three bedroom semi in the countryside. They had OK jobs but not on as high salaries (or hours) as I am now. By the time my mum was 32 they had four kids, and they have just retired aged 55 and have two houses, their dogs, cars and final salary pension schemes. I can only dream of this if I stay here.

I feel quite bitter about it, and I know I'm in a much better position than many people my age! But some have implied that I am putting money before 'soul' and contributing to the UK's brain drain.

What do you think?

xiaozhu YANBU

2 of my friends (married) about to do exactly the same pre kids (re. Dubai) so they can save to finally get a house, they 35....

If I was your age (I’m 34) I would def go for it, it’s a huge adventure, wish I’d done similar when I had chance when younger.

I understand your frustrations completely and London’s ever increasing costs and insanely, complete over-population is very hard to cope with at times.

Cant think it would harm your career prospects back ion UK, of anything it puts a different stance on things/you can sell yourself as having experience of a certain market/area

OP, I am a lawyer, albeit a different field, so I am fairly clued up on income in the legal world. And I bought my first flat in Tooting. I'm not comparing you to bankers, just to my wide circle of colleagues, acquaintances and friends who work in comparable jobs to you and have managed to scrape a living in London. Yes, sarcasm intended, because come the fuck off it.

MY DP and I moved out of London to Spain (Originally Barcelona) for similar reasons in 2007. Well, the biggest reason is we wanted to live and work in Spain but we didnt like the thought of having to get £1 million together to afford a small family house, or the long hours and commute with young children

8 years and 2 kids later, we are still in Spain, very settled and it has gone amazingly despite the deepest recession in living memory.

Moves shouldnt be made on money alone. Dubai may be OK to make a quick buck but once you want to put roots down then not so much. The best part of where we live is our neighbours and community which is very important when bringing children up

Penguindreams but Op says she has debts still paying off, so this reason she cant even save for deposit?

The brain drain thing makes me smile. Yes your brain may be missed OP, but there are lots and lots of brains coming up behind you looking for opportunities so I don't think you'll be missed overly.

I quite envy you Dubai though,,I'd love to give that a whirl.

Ex-pat life is a bit I've stepping back in time to about 1952, it not a good idea to be a woman or not to be white. I'm sure it's frustrating not to be able to buy a house in London but you might find that there are bigger frustrations in the Middle East.

Either way, good luck.

Sure, but how can the government, baby boomers or anyone else be blamed for her accruing debts? Her uni fees would not have been high given her age, and if she's Magic Circle, no doubt her law school fees were covered by the firm.

I do get the point - she thought life would be easier than it is, financially. Yes, so did I, so did most of us. But she is phenomenally well paid compared to most, and the goady, whingy tone of the OP has just got my back up.
Anyway, I shall step away now, I'm not going to add anything constructive.

my dad had worked for one year before going to university and because he was technically classed as a 'mature student', he got a big student grant out of which he was able to save.
I'm very surprised to hear this and I'm a similar age to your father and like him, I worked before going to university.

Mind you, I gave up the London rat race (finance) and now work outside of London. You know what? I actually earn more now than in London. Never thought that would be the case at age 28, when I couldn't imagine a life outside London.

YABU.

I would advise going to a country where you face arrest if you are raped.

Also a lawyer. No time to RTFT but I say do it.

I was in a v similar situation except I had managed to scrape a mortgage on a (tiny) house. I was sick of coming home after working 90 hour works with no time or energy to shop for groceries. Realized that after 8 years of studying and debt I was paid less per hour than I was paying my cleaner.

I went to Dubai first and am currently an ex pat in another part of the ME. Dubai is not a place to stay forever, but I can pretty much guarantee you will have saved enough for a deposit inLondon within a couple of years if you don't go too crazy on rent/shopping. It's a fantastic place to live as a single woman, and even though I am married now, I still have very happy memories of my time there.

Technically my parents are baby boomers but my dad is dead and mum does not have a lot of money, so I can't really comment on that part of your post. However, having the security of a tax free income has meant that I can pay for things like private healthcare for her that I couldn't afford as a HR taxpayer. That has been a lifesaver.

I'm not sure. Are you expecting to buy a property just on your salary? Or do you have a partner to pool resources with? Yabu to expect to afford a property on your own in London in your 20s surely? Demand outstrips supply considerably. If you bought with a partner on the outskirts of London/further (with fast train) you'd have a better chance.

To move to Dubai purely for money is a shocker IMO. Fine if your objective was to go for an adventure or to progress your career but just for money?! The brain drain is a non issue. London is ram jam full of people (hence the housing issue!), someone will snap your job up.

DH works in the City, we live in Essex. He just gets up earlier to commute to Liv St and walks. It's as quick as some tube journeys from outer zones. So you could buy a house outside of London. I know a lot of people who say they are 'trapped' there, but if you've got a high paying job then sorry, you have a lot of options. Buy a 3 bed somewhere commutable that's close to countryside. Stop looking at other people's lives and comparing, you'll be happier that way. Also, you are only 28, you have so much time to get the life you feel you 'deserve', if there is such a thing as deserving a certain kind of life. A lot of people would never earn an income as high as I imagine you have, but make a happy life based on what they have. Because this is all financial, isn't it?

I say do it. If you hate it you can come back. I've been to Dubai many many times and have friends working out there too. My son in law is about to move there (pilot for emirates). Working in another country does open your eyes and in some way it might make you love the uk even more, but you only live once. Go for it!

Thanks for all your replies, MNers, even the sarky ones! This is clearly a divisive topic!

Snowbells: No I am not earning 90k...! Not sure how qualified you need to be in my firm to earn that but I am quite a way off! Also, I am only one and a half years qualified so was on a trainee salary for two years of my career, which is much lower and didn't allow me to save at all. I think I will have to buy a house outside London, even though, as FirstAid has pointed out the commute will be a drag.

Peasin/Penguin: Yes I am still paying off my debts (hopefully will be gone in a couple of years!) and also the rent in London eats up a big chunk of my salary. We have managed to save some money, but I see little point when savings get such low interest and debt attracts more.

Downtheroad: I am hoping very much that my parents will live for a very long time yet, and when they do die their assets will be split four ways anyway, so I'm not really banking on much of an inheritance. I think it's dangerous to rely on any kind of hand out rather than your own income.

Laurie: My mum is 53, my dad is 56 and retired last year at 55.

Bowlersarm: Yes, I did sound a little bit arrogant with the 'brain drain' thing... I'm not trying to big myself up though, it's just that it's been on the news a lot lately and not just in relation to doctors etc.

Bluepants: 'Yabu to expect to afford a property on your own in London in your 20s surely? Demand outstrips supply considerably.'

Well exactly!

OP I'm the same age as you, no-one in my friendship group can afford a mortgage but I think it's normal nowadays. I will struggle to buy a one bed flat 1 hr commute from London on my wage and my job is in Central London. If I had the chance to go to Dubai I'd snap it up.

Floisme: I know, unbelievable, but true. Well he certainly didn't get the money from his parents, one of whom was a steel worker and the other a dinner lady!

I spend a lot of time in UAE. I'd move there in a second. I am jealous OP.

Dubai is an interesting place to work - and whilst it's often touted as not a place for "white westerners" to settle there is a thriving community of second generation Arabs and Indians who have decided it is immensely preferable to their home countries and so it is far less transitory than it once once.

Good opportunities, lots of fun and depending on your sector a feeling that the work that you do really makes a difference.

I was not classed as a mature student op, even though I had worked so I'm very surprised to hear that your dad was.

As for my husband supporting his parents: well we have little choice. He is (of course) an only child and there is almost no state support in China - it is expected that children care for their parents and socially unacceptable if you don't. Unfortunately, even though they're only in their 60s they went through a lot in the Cultural Revolution and are in poor health. Quite the contrast to the UK's baby boomers

Actually, one of the other reasons we're going to Dubai is because it was as close as we could get in my particular line of work to China (couldn't find much there or Hong Kong, and Singapore is just as far as Dubai), so we can be a bit closer to them. I am aware of the issues with Dubai, but it is not solely for money we've chosen that location. Also, my husband is Muslim (not observant, but he will be more used to the culture there).

Floisme: Hmm, not sure. He dropped out of school at 16, worked for a year and then did his A Levels in evening classes while working, and then went to uni, so actually it could be because of that?

He is a very admirable and hard working man, and so I don't begrudge him what he has!

The thing is you can't benefit from the property ladder until you get on it. At any particular point the market seems to have peaked (we turned down a house in 2006 for 400,000 as it seemed an absolutely outrageous amount but its now 900,000).

Many people can't get on the ladder at all, but you could. Not at the level you want but lets face it, most people you now see sitting in comfortable London houses (myself included) were still renting or bought flats in their 20s, even 20 years ago. In fact at 28 we hadn't even bought the first modest little flat.

You could go to Dubai, save a load of cash, come back and the London housing market will STILL be out of reach because although it might tumble and stall, in the long term it will go up. If this is all about housing you need to get on the ladder as soon as you can.

What happened to alot of people is that they bought a flat in an area close to the trendy area they were renting, but not in it. Then met a partner who had also bought a flat. Pooled resources, benefited from two lots of rising equity, bought first 'nice' 2 bed flat, incomes rise, equity grows and they buy stretch to a small 3 bed terrace in nice part of zone 3 or 4. Equity continues to grow, income starts to peak, they cash up move somewhere suburban with the big garden picket fence by the time they are in their late 30s/early 40s, or a smaller place still in London. None of my London friends, which includes a good few lawyers and banking folk, started in a house in their preferred area.