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AIBU?

To be so upset that I've failed my driving test AGAIN!!!

184 replies

Lottie10000 · 26/02/2015 16:05

I'm so so upset.
I've got young children and it would make our lives so much easier.
I've been practising for a year, have taken well over 60 hours of lessons, mock tests all go brilliantly well and then I fail the real test.
I can't keep paying out for these tests as well as the instructors time but we have an automatic yet thought best to learn manual in case I ever need to change although after this last awful test today I'm thinking of buying the manual first so I can at least not have to pay the instructor again.
The first test was last month and just awful, I was so nervous , the instructor didn't talk at all, my nerves were shot to pieces with him and I missed a mini roundabout completely, bumped the kerb doing a turn in the road and then forgot to do the blind spot check as we pulled off so 3 majors ( no bloody minors! )
Today I got the guy who passes everyone my instructor said, he was lovely, chatted the whole way, I thought it had gone brilliantly and then he said id failed!
3 minors for gears and 1 major.
The major was for after doing my emergency stop, even though I checked all around me, in the distance was another car and I should have waited for them to go .
Just feel really shit that at 36 I'm finding this so fucking hard.
Passed the theory first time with 2 wrong answers.
Maybe it's just not meant to be.

OP posts:

Report

fedupandsickofeverything · 27/02/2015 10:58

I passed on fifth attempt. I was so nervous on my fourth that the examiner stopped the test. He put down as illhealth so I was cancellation two weeks later. I got him again which helped as I knew he was nice, he also let my instructor sit in the back. All of which helped, I also didn't tell anybody about the test exept for my dsis ad a lotof my nerves was due to thought of having to tell everyone I'd failed again, this I think was one of the major reasons I passed and something you should maybe think about as it does take a lot of pressure off

RingtheBells · 27/02/2015 11:42

DS was 18, had well over 60 lessons and passed 3rd time. DH passed 4th time.

FluffyTheEvilOne · 27/02/2015 11:53

My DH failed his second test almost before he'd left the testing centre car park. He passed third time with flying colours. I, meanwhile, am still to have a single lesson and am rapidly approaching my mid thirties...

To fail twice is pretty normal IME of friends and family taking their tests. Good luck for the next time. Also, I agree with the pp who said not to tell people you're taking the test, it'll take the pressure off.

Pantah630 · 27/02/2015 12:08

Bach Rescue Remedy to calm your nerves and you can buy a small auto but it doesn't sound like gears were the problem in the test.

I approached both my bike and car tests believing I'd failed as soon as I left the test centre, then calmly rode/drove as I would normally. Mind over matter, it doesn't sound like there was much wrong second time round, I'd still have a lesson pre test though just to brush up and give you confidence.

Good luck next time. My DB took three times, over confident, under confident, didn't give a fuck and now 20 years later drives a car with an Italian prancing horse My DM took five times, a change of town and test centre helped her.

WyrdByrd · 27/02/2015 12:42

My dad passed his test while living abroad & had to retake it when he returned to the UK. It took him 9 attempts iirc!

Seriously 2 goes is nothing. I'd always say write the first one off as you'll be nervous & not know what to expect. Look on it as a 'mock'!

Would an intensive course be worth a try so you get it over & done with quicker?

PrimalLass · 27/02/2015 12:54

I think id be lessening my chances in an area I've never driven around.

My local test centre when I was a teenager was in a small market town with narrow streets and tricky junctions. Instead of there, I sat my test in Glasgow, where all the streets are really wide, almost like dual carriageways. It was so much easier.

PrimalLass · 27/02/2015 12:56

I passed first time and shouldn't have, so it is just luck.

TweeStuff · 27/02/2015 13:00

Oh dear, that's bad luck. You only just failed too.

Groovee · 27/02/2015 13:04

I was expecting you to be on test number 7 or something.

My niece only passed yesterday in her 3rd test.

Next time try some rescue remedy or kalms. I'm sure you will be fine x

smella · 27/02/2015 13:16

YANBU, but 2 fails is nothing! I passed on my sixth attempt and was very certain that I hadn't passed that one either and had to get the examiner to repeat himself when he told me I'd passed, as I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I was a perfectly competent driver during lessons, but lost the plot during exams due to nerves. I swapped instructors after four failures and after I failed my fifth, he suggested taking Kalms. Amazingly, they worked (or they were a great placebo...)! I've now replaced Kalms with Rescue Remedy and find that really helps me in other high-pressure situations, such as job interviews. I highly recommend it.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/02/2015 13:19

Switch to automatic OP! My SIL passed 2nd time round in an automatic.

I passed in a manual many years ago and now if taking it again would learn and buy an automatic. in fact many friends/acquaintances have an automatic rather than a geared car.

and don't beat yourself up over it!

SuperFlyHigh · 27/02/2015 13:21

also as Pantah says Bach Rescue Remedy is great, I used to use it before agency typing tests which were nerve-wracking enough for me!

IloveJudgeJudy · 27/02/2015 13:26

I was also going to recommend that you take some kind of calming remedy before you take your next test. I'm sure, having had so many lessons which have gone really well and your instructor being sure you are ready, it is only exam nerves that are holding you back. Good luck with whatever you decide.

19lottie82 · 27/02/2015 13:30

I passed on my fourth time. failing twice isn't a big deal, really.
Also, you've only just failed, it's not like you got tons of majors!

try taking some kalms, or whatever they're called in the lead up to your next test. you'll get there in the end!

ElsieMc · 27/02/2015 13:33

I passed first time years ago, but my instructor assessed me as only a 50-50 (yeah, I know great for my confidence). Just goes to show that it is often luck on the day/nerves. Her dead cert for the day failed.

It does sound that on your first test you had a disaster because quite simply your instructor would not have entered you for your test unless they were fairly sure you would pass. After all, they like to keep up their pass rates!

My daughter passed second time and my eldest dd still hasn't passed - but this is because she keeps stopping and starting all the time, convinced her husband taking her out will help. It really, really won't.

I am sure you will get it next time because a day on you will be determined again so you can get your independence for yourself and children. I agree though, stick to the manual because that will be it finished when you pass.

BoredFatCat · 27/02/2015 14:11

When you take your test you need to drill into your head that You are going to pass. You know how to drive, they guy is just an instructor, he is nobody special to you. Dont let him make you nervous. Take calms before and just have confidence.
I passed first time at 22 it was the best feeling ever, you are going to love driving trust me dont give up!
Try another test centre.

APlaceInTheWinter · 27/02/2015 14:21

I can't remember how many times I failed before I passed I have blanked them from my memory!

When I eventually passed, I took Bach Rescue Remedy because I figured that although I didn't feel nervous, I must have been.

Good luck

Everyotherusernameistaken · 27/02/2015 14:23

Failed twice myself passed 3rd.
7 majors on first test. I didn't think I was that bad.

Failure isn't falling down. It's not getting back up again.

Keep going

Kaekae · 27/02/2015 16:45

I passed my test about 12 years ago now but I suffered from terrible nerves during each test, one leg would shake. I am not a nervous person but during the tests my nerves really got the better of me. I finally passed when I decided to take it in my own car. I felt more at ease and it helped that I had a really nice examiner who actually spoke to me before he test. Whatever you do don't give up.

Lottie10000 · 27/02/2015 20:02

I just keep bursting into tears :(
I feel really annoyed with myself and worrying immensely as my son starts school in September and our closest school is so over subcribed that our second closest is 2 miles away which no bus route goes near and just don't know what I'll do if I haven't passed by then

OP posts:

Nolim · 27/02/2015 20:15

I kept crying as well with every single fail. And i was in a bad mood for a couple of days.

Hang on and keep trying.

x2boys · 27/02/2015 20:36

My sister passed.on her ninth attempt !she was so.she failed.on her she asked.the examiner if he was sure when he passes.her

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Lottie10000 · 01/03/2015 22:25

Hi all,
I'm wondering about a change of test centre.
I know it will throw me to get my first examiner as he made me more nervous as he was so stern and at this test centre it's a 1/5 chance I will!
I'm talking it in tolworth at the end of the month ( surrey ) but a cancellation has come up for Sutton ( much busier ) at 8am next Thursday, worth the risk??

OP posts:

Lottie10000 · 02/03/2015 08:06

H

OP posts:

Nolim · 02/03/2015 08:12

A new location can be good but The draw back is that you may not know the streets as well as the ones in your primary location.

Fwiw just before my fourth attempt (in sutton none the less) my instructor suggested that if i failed i should try croydon next time since it is easier there. Luckily there was no fifth attempt

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