To be so upset that I've failed my driving test AGAIN!!!

[Lottie10000]

I'm so so upset.
I've got young children and it would make our lives so much easier.
I've been practising for a year, have taken well over 60 hours of lessons, mock tests all go brilliantly well and then I fail the real test.
I can't keep paying out for these tests as well as the instructors time but we have an automatic yet thought best to learn manual in case I ever need to change although after this last awful test today I'm thinking of buying the manual first so I can at least not have to pay the instructor again.
The first test was last month and just awful, I was so nervous , the instructor didn't talk at all, my nerves were shot to pieces with him and I missed a mini roundabout completely, bumped the kerb doing a turn in the road and then forgot to do the blind spot check as we pulled off so 3 majors ( no bloody minors! )
Today I got the guy who passes everyone my instructor said, he was lovely, chatted the whole way, I thought it had gone brilliantly and then he said id failed!
3 minors for gears and 1 major.
The major was for after doing my emergency stop, even though I checked all around me, in the distance was another car and I should have waited for them to go .
Just feel really shit that at 36 I'm finding this so fucking hard.
Passed the theory first time with 2 wrong answers.
Maybe it's just not meant to be.

[IchBinEinNerd]

I sympathise as well. At one point I was so desperate I was contemplating going to america as you just have to drive around a car park there. All the time seeing young lads on the road thinking 'really?!' 'you, you passed!?'

[Lottie10000]

Yep that's it, kids nearly 20 years younger are passing left right and centre and I don't get it :-(
We are going to buy a cheap manual tomorrow and re book and I'll go it alone.
Next tests around here aren't until mid March so 3 weeks away so lots of practise, I could do it a little earlier at a nearby centre which I contemplated as if I get the guy who did the first test I know I will fail he was just awful! but I think id be lessening my chances in an area I've never driven around.
Trying to keep my spirits up, my husband didn't even know id taken today's test as thought telling nobody would help my nerves so he isn't aware which is helping as talking about it would make me more upset I think although no chance of that for next time as he will have to bring me!

[Topseyt]

Millyx, if driving and the driving test were simply common sense then there would be no need for driving schools and all driving instructors would be out of a job.

OP, you will get there. I know more people who took several goes to pass than who passed first time.

I have been driving for over 30 years now. I'm a safe driver but would still not say it has ever come naturally to me. If I am feeling nervous for any reason I find that taking Kalms half an hour or so beforehand helps. Others have been helped by beta blockers from their GP. All worth considering if you think it would help next time.

[HootyMcTooty]

Whilst Millyx was very rude, she does have a point. It sounds as though nerves are getting the better of you, so you might need to find a way of controlling your fear of the test. It isn't a big deal, the person assessing you doesn't have absolute control over your life. Take some rescue remedy before the next one and decide that it doesn't matter if you pass or fail that attempt, you can do it again. Just go for a nice drive with a slightly odd, selectively mute stranger in the passenger seat. Oh and just because the examiner doesn't talk doesn't mean you can't, I chuntered all the way through my final test, it relaxed me, he must have thought I was very odd.

I panicked through 3 tests, then once I took the pressure off myself and chilled out about the whole thing I passed on the 4th attempt.

I hope you pass next time.

[laughingmyarseoff]

Sometimes the test is actually the worst part, I failed several times to and it was on the day when I'd had the shittist week that I passed. I think because I'd just had so much shit I couldn't feel anything else so the nerves went rather then actually knowing more at driving.

I know someone who swears that the only way she passed was to knacker herself out at the gym first, her brain was active but her body just reacted and didn't have time to get nervous.

I'm of the thought that you learn to pass your test, it's when you pass that you actually learn to drive. Learning was never natural for me either, now driving is.

[hackmum]

I passed on my fifth go. I'd told myself that if I didn't pass this time I'd give it up for a while. I had loads more than 60 lessons, and in those days you had to leave at least a month between tests.

Just keep going. On my fifth go, the examiner knew me so well he asked me if he could address me by my first name.

[moosemama]

Keep going OP. I failed my first driving test at 21, basically due to nerves and was so upset I never took it again.

I'm not almost 45 and just starting all over again. I really wish I'd just stuck with it back then.

I know of two people who've been given beta-blockers after a few fails and passed on their next test. They block the uptake of adrenaline into the blood, which is why they help, but they're not suitable for everyone and I don't think all GPs would prescribe them. Think I might ask mine about them anyway though.

[CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger]

Passed my test on the 3rd attempt at 36 last year - do not give up, you WILL get there.

[Bringmewineandcake]

7 times here...I feel your pain.

You will pass!

[WitchesGlove]

Sorry to hear that, but don't give up!

Lots of people are affected by nerves in the test. I passed on my sixth attempt after I'd given up learning for 5 years.

If I could do anything differently I'd keep it secret I was doing my test, there's less pressure that way.

What is your instructor saying?

[starving]

Before you go out and buy a new car check out the driving test website as there are certain cars that you can't sit your test in. Mine is one of them! I don't have a proper spare wheel I just have a space saver. I discovered this when doing research for dd's test. There are other cars that are not suitable as well. She wanted to do the test in my car as she prefers it to her instructors. I wanted her to do it in the instructors car as I didn't think I could cope with her nerves on the day.

[HedgehogsDontBite]

If it makes you feel better OP, I was so nervous on my first test that the examiner had to do an emergency stop to prevent me crashing into a tree in the carpark. Afterwards she suggested I look into getting some tranquilisers for next time . I passed on my third go. Don't give up, you will get there.

[Rikalaily]

Your tests could have been mine. First I failed spectacularly, my fault, nerves went into overdrive and I got three serious faults, two of them were dangerous ones! Second test, the nicest examiner there, I drove well and thought I had passed, I was so shocked when he said I'd failed and to this day I still say that the serious fault he gave me was unfair. Third time I had that same examiner and he was ill, I drove worse than the second test and for the first time ever I touched the kerb slightly as I straightened up while parallel parking... I passed!

Don't give up and don't lose confidence in yourself, you'll get there

[Lottie10000]

Do I need specific insurance to take the test in my own car?
And am I right in thinking hubby just needs to drop and collect me ( kids will have to be in tow ) not actually accompany me?

[Mumzy]

I second going for the automatic test. I drove a manual for years and recently got a manual. Absolutely love it don't think I'll ever go back to a manual.

[chlo95]

I failed twice and passed third time, 1 major the first time and 2 majors the second, third time lucky! Get it booked back in!

[Zusuki]

I passed third time (automatic, too!), as did my mum and several of my friends. I also have friends who passed on their fourth and sixth time respectively .

You are SO close. Just keep going. I know its expensive and hard and scary and soul destroying but it just takes one piddling hour test and you'll be on the road and this will all be a distant memory. x

[Zusuki]

Just to say, too. I failed on my first manual test with a major (total nightmare on a roundabout). Second automatic test I failed on a manoeuvre (reverse parking).

I still can't park properly .

[toffeeboffin]

All I can say is try again. I failed four times, passed on the fifth. It's a nightmare but worth it! Good luck!

[Lottie10000]

Thanks for all your replies,
I just feel so sick and so disappointed in myself.
It's made my life a lot harder now for the time being.

[Flambola]

Ah you'll get there. I failed first time because I had another instructor in the car - my examiner was being audited! Put me off no end to see his baldy head in my rearview mirror. And I hadn't driven with a passenger before!

[richthegreatcornholio]

It's only your second test, if it was your 10th then I might be saying driving's not for you but seriously there's an element of luck involved due to conditions on the day etc. You'd have passed if that oncoming car had been there 60 seconds later for example. Persevere with the manual lessons, it doesn't sound as though the gearbox is your issue.