AIBU to think that my Dad is out of line and should back off on this?

[Marmiteandjamislush]

As background: It is Lent and we are very observant.

My Dad is here, as he is every day teaching the boys. I was setting the table for lunch and I put out a jug of water. DS2 (just 4) starts whinging that he doesn't want water, he wants juice. Now, to me he is just being a pain because we don't have juice with meals as a matter of course anyway, he has been very willful over the last few days anyway, because this is the first Lent that we have made him do 'properly' in that we have said no to anything sweet, fried or leaven at all and no red meat. I don't think this is a problem, his brother is just 6 and has done it from the same age. Anyway, so I serve the meal, veg broth and Matza. DS2 is still whining and refusing to eat, saying, 'I'm too thirsty, I'm too thirsty, Meenor!' His name for my Dad.

Dad then says to me 'How can you see your child suffer like this? I never denied you a drink as a child.'

I answered that I am not denying him anything, he is choosing not to drink the water and is only playing up to an audience.

A little later, [DS2still whining] I nip out to the loo, and come back to find DS2 has got a glass of squash!

AIBU to think that my Dad should have stuck to my rules in my own house?

FYI, kitchen has been cleaned for Lent, so he had to purposefully walk through to my office the garage to get the juice from the child inaccessible cupboard!

There is a lot of sexual content on MN, OP.

"Breaking Bad as an example of how drugs fuck up your life." Breaking Bad is an example of how to get mega rich by making meth! There have actually been many copy cat cases since the show came out. I'm hoping there will be a documentary on that soon.

I don't feel I can really comment on the OP because it's not a lifestyle I have any familiarity with, but I can understand her frustration at her DF going behind her back, and yes the little boy was probably gasping for some sugar which was the wrong reason to give it to him. The couple don't sound intolerant - they haven't circumsized their children, and they seem chilled about the kids making their own minds up about continuing to follow the religion when they're older (compare to a female vicar I know who wants to kick her atheist teenaged son out of her house...)

I'm just being nosy. I'd never heard of Torah observant Christians either.

Your Dad deliberately going against your decision is obviously not on but I have no idea how you can get him to back off on that when he obviously disagrees with your way of doing things and is very involved in your DC's lives (teaching them.)

Wips, we have very, very strong filters on the internet, similar to those used by schools, sites have to be listed as being allowed by us

Some canoeist who won two silver medals at the Athens Olympics has just been convicted for cooking meth. It's obviously very now.

Well, good luck with MN and its fruity content.

Marmite, why no internet shopping?

Is it because you are supposed to toil - so to speak?

You can normal tell if a thread has sexual content before you read it and I stay away from boards where it is likely, so don't go on relationships much.

bumbly When I talk about the abusive behaviour I am NOT talking about food, for goodness sake.

AIBU is notorious.

No Internet food shopping during Lent, because that is the easy way, yes but also because I shouldn't be buying lovely clothes either, as that is total a luxury.

Serious question. So Torah observant Christians are Christians who would like to be Jewish but were not born Jewish. Is that right?

Petit I don't know what else you have to go on. I was impressed by the OP and her husband's ability to compromise over their differing opinions on circumcision, for a start. They clearly do think through and care about the consequences of their actions on their children, from what I've seen. I'm sorry that your past has coloured your view in such a way you can cast such hurtful aspersions a stranger's way.

I'm interested, can't find much stuff online about this. Do you believe we are living in the 'end times'?

If you can't imagine what life is like for those children, in that household, I am happy for you, truly, I'm not being snarky.

Are you allowed music?

Marmite I'm sorry you're being attacked on here. I find some posters really quite bonkers and fundamentalist in their anti-religious stance. And staggeringly rude and aggressive.

I think your father should not undermine you and I don't believe you're doing any harm to your DS. However, could I gently suggest that you make sure (you probably do this already but...) he's getting enough calories?

I observe Lent as well, but not nearly as strictly as you. My DD (9) gives up something of her choosing (this year it's chocolate). Many posters might wish to call Social Services on me.

I don't think a strict upbringing makes for a miserable childhood.

Consistent well understood rules lead to stability and security IMO. Overly harsh implementation of inconsistent rules is abuse but firm application of defined rules is good, regardless of what the rules are IMO.

On the other hand 'honour thy mother and father' applies all the time right? bit un-respectful to say 'my rules, your wrong and should back off'.

I suppose Torah observant Christians are not just "wannabe Jews" as they presumably believe that Jesus was the son of God and more than just a prophet.

You can convert to Judaism if you want to.

Nicki, that's not right really. We believe that all Christians were Jews, but they were Jews who stopped observing and stopped obeying the 'law' before Jesus came. Jesus is like a bridge back to God, so the Crucifixion put us 'back on track' but we still have to follow the 'law' to stay on that path. If you are very interested in where this comes from, read Matthew 5:17

So we are not Jewish, because we 'broke the law' Jesus, mended it we were saved by him, so we are Christians. HTH

What you feel living like this brings to your life? Not snarky genuinely interested!

Marmite, I'm sorry that you have had to read a lot of terrible things relating to your parenting. FWIW, I think your Dad was wrong to undermine you and I would be hopping mad if any parent of mine had done the same.

I find it astonishing that people think it's acceptable to call you a religious lunatic or abusive, simply because you and your family have chosen this path. Whatever happened to acceptance and tolerance?

So reading/posting on MN can be excused away as community/educational but reading a newspaper or watching a drama is not allowed

Usual religious hypocrisy then OP

And yy, if your dc should obey you - surely it follows that you obey your own parents, no?