AIBU to think that my Dad is out of line and should back off on this?

[Marmiteandjamislush]

As background: It is Lent and we are very observant.

My Dad is here, as he is every day teaching the boys. I was setting the table for lunch and I put out a jug of water. DS2 (just 4) starts whinging that he doesn't want water, he wants juice. Now, to me he is just being a pain because we don't have juice with meals as a matter of course anyway, he has been very willful over the last few days anyway, because this is the first Lent that we have made him do 'properly' in that we have said no to anything sweet, fried or leaven at all and no red meat. I don't think this is a problem, his brother is just 6 and has done it from the same age. Anyway, so I serve the meal, veg broth and Matza. DS2 is still whining and refusing to eat, saying, 'I'm too thirsty, I'm too thirsty, Meenor!' His name for my Dad.

Dad then says to me 'How can you see your child suffer like this? I never denied you a drink as a child.'

I answered that I am not denying him anything, he is choosing not to drink the water and is only playing up to an audience.

A little later, [DS2still whining] I nip out to the loo, and come back to find DS2 has got a glass of squash!

AIBU to think that my Dad should have stuck to my rules in my own house?

FYI, kitchen has been cleaned for Lent, so he had to purposefully walk through to my office the garage to get the juice from the child inaccessible cupboard!

Sorry, cross post

The Torah says that leavened foods generally can't be used as offerings in the Temple, and that you shouldn't have leaven in your house during Passover. (It, of course, has nothing to say about Lent) There has been various speculation about why this might be over the millennia, but no official reason is given.

To be fair I don't have a tv but watch online. Some people are quite rude about this!

I don't think op is remotely abusive. I don't think I'd want her as my mum (sorry op!) but there's a difference between that and being abusive!

Well, you can learn something new everyday on MN.

Being allowed to watch educational things must leave massive room for interpretation.

DS2 could argue he would learn something from almost anything on TV

Documentary not drama. I have no Idea what the programmes you list are, but I'm guessing they are not documentaries?

I learnt lots of new phrases from The Thick of It.

editthis "Where are the no sugar, no processed, "made from scratch" bores when you need them?"

That made me snort. But this thread certainly brought out plenty of judgmental, anti-religion bores, didn't it?

OP, YANBU and your father was in the wrong to do that. I would ask him why if I were you, just to clear the air and come to an understanding. Then again, sometimes it's best (and easier) to ignore these small things and hope they never happen again.

As for those labelling the OP as horrible and abusive, please re-think your opinions, your language, and your aggression.

There is nothing abusive in what OP and her husband are doing. Other people eat this way every day, as do their children. Changing diet suddenly can occur for a number of reasons (disease diagnosis, for example). There is no harm, either physical or psychological, being inflicted on these children. It's hugely unsettling to see someone whose posts are clearly calm, reasonably open-minded, and intelligent being vilified in such a way.

(I'm not a church-goer and not observing Lent, in case that matters to some of you.)

Documentary not drama.

And why is that?

I've never found that, Remind We interpret it as things relating to learned subjects. So science programmes, some natural history, History documentaries, religious documentaries. For DCs Cbeebies sites relating to literacy, numeracy, science ect.

The grandfather shouldn't have undermined you in your own house. That said you are being too strict on a four year old.

Documentaries are made to instruct, to document facts and situations, that's why. Drama entertains, there are many ways to be entertained, and content of drama is hard to judge without watching it, which defeats the point. IYSWIM

Ok, the issue here was that the Dad have the child juice when the mum said water only with meals. Most people would say the Dad was unreasonable to go against rules at home. A lot of you seem to be getting hung up on the fact that they aren't going to eat certain foods over Lent (which the child wasn't complaining about anyway!) and letting that influence your response.

OP YANBU your house, your rules and your Dad shouldn't have given him juice behind your back.

Documentaries are made to instruct, to document facts and situations,

But they could be really biased or complete fallacies.

Does it matter Primal?

What it boils down to is the OP chooses not to watch some types of TV programmes.

Who gives a shit?

I'm just interested.

You learn something everyday - I had absolutely no idea there was such a thing as a Torah Observant Christian. Its been interesting to read about.

Well, it does if you're interested in understanding others' ways of life mytartanscarf.

So, no drama, are novels allowed? Why/how is internet new Ok but not a newspaper?

Indeed. Every day is a school day.

I'm fascinated by your lifestyle, while I am sure there are great elements to it do you not think that some elements of modernity - like the internet can enrich our lives and help us to better learn about and understand other cultures.

Is posting on mumsnet not a no-no??

Yes, shouldn't you have given up MN for Lent?

No fruit, as we can get the nutrients from veg, which is not sweet, so it becomes a luxury in that sense. Petit Your posts have made me cry, I am in no way abusing my children, neither the 2 I have or the 1 on the way! I hope noone is ever so vile to or about you, ever.

Oh yes, good point Wips!! Internet seems to be OK, where some things I would consider far less "harmful" by OP's rules aren't. Not saying that's right or wrong, but I am interested in understanding.

Shouldn't the OP be giving up MN for Lent?

I asked about MN, was told it was an extension of community and educational, I would not be expected not to talk to people IRL during Lent, so was told MN was the same.

No online shopping though!

The "abusive" comments are ridiculous. Marmite, just ignore them. Feeding or not feeding your children certain foods is not abusive as long as they are getting enough and a balanced diet (which is perfectly possible while not eating sugar,meat and fried food!)