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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like shoving my sister's lasagne up her behind!

160 replies

Lottie5 · 22/02/2015 23:09

My sister made a freezable lasagne for my ds's birthday party but unfortunately we had to cancel the party twice due to DS being poorly. Now my sister has said that as we aren't having a party now she wants it back.

Is it me or is this a bit mean? I know it cost her a bit to make but hopefully not that much and we did originally offer to cover the cost of the ingredients but she refused. If the situation was reversed I would feel so sorry for her having to cancel a child's birthday party I wouldn't even think to ask for something back that I had made!! Especially with family - but am I expecting too much?!

OP posts:
shouldigetascooter · 23/02/2015 12:49

So far up she's piping it out her ears..

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2015 12:51

does this lasagne have caviar, oysters, truffles in it OP?! Grin

I'd be tempted to spit on it, sprinkle cat/dog hairs on it (mean but there you are). i wouldn't really!

on the other hand you could lob it at her.... wouldn't do that either

I am really wondering as to backstory/form for this? and after you've offered to pay for ingredients? do it have fairy's tears and grated unicorn horn in it?

GatoradeMeBitch · 23/02/2015 12:52

Let it defrost a bit, dig it out of your dish, tip it all into a Tesco bag and hand it back to her. A rude question deserves a rude response IMO...

Original poster
Lottie5 · 23/02/2015 13:26

Bartholomew - it just wasn't very nice to get a message like that while DS was still very poorly. She hasn't once asked after him or expressed any sympathy for his disappointment - literally all she has said is that she hoped her dd hasn't caught it and can she have the lasagne back. She even told our mum how much it cost her to make!!! (£10!)

Ps - everybody vents their personal frustrations on Aibu - if you think it's not normal you're in the wrong place!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lottie5 · 23/02/2015 13:29

Yes she does have a history of very selfish behaviour and always gets away with it even when it's been far more extreme than this!!!!

OP posts:
WerewolfBarMitzvah · 23/02/2015 13:39

Get a horse meat lasagne from the supermarket for £3 and chuck it at her.
Perhaps write in tomato sauce on the top 'DS is fine, thanks for asking'
Then never accept anything again.
Then have a party for DS when he's better and don't invite her.
I do sister grudges quite well. Grin

BartholomewCrouch · 23/02/2015 13:39

Well, her not asking after your son is unpleasant. But it is drip feeding, along with the info that she told your mum how much it cost.

These added details do indeed make her sound heartless and mean spirited.

However making something for a specific occasion and then asking a close family member if you can use it instead when it doesn't get used at the occasion, as the OP originally outlined, seems perfectly fine to me.

This is the kind of thing that happens in my family, we all pitch in and help out, going both ways: I'll make something for you when needed, but equally would be happy to give something to you/back to you when you need it,/I didn't use it, without the need to bitch to world about it.

I'm well aware of how AIBU works, I just thought you were BU, until you revealed that she also does not care about your sons welfare and bitches to mother about cost.

But I can only comment on information given at the time.

SoupDragon · 23/02/2015 13:39

How has the DD you apparently had at the start of the year changed into a DS?

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2015 13:40

OP - in a sense what's worse is she hasn't even asked after your DS eg she's more concerned for her own DD's health having not caught it. That would really hack me off.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2015 13:42

Bartholomew - do you 'really' do this? sounds fine to me...

It sounds here in this case though as its not reciprocated but a one way street (please put me straight OP if I'm wrong) and if so then that's downright mean to ask for it back. for all she knows OP and her family could have eaten it over the course of 1-2 days.

FishCalledWonder · 23/02/2015 13:47

"Poor Dsis and Dnephew. How awful to have to cancel his party. At least Dsis doesn't have to think about cooking whilst dealing with a pukey bug; they can eat that lasagna."

Not too much to expect, surely?

BartholomewCrouch · 23/02/2015 13:50

eh? Superfly, why the quotes? Yes we really do this type of thing (make food for each others parties). Why would you think I'd lie about that. Isn't that quite normal??

Well sister isn't entirely selfish is she, she made a lasagne for her sisters kids party in the first place.

Thread asking AIBU to be pissed off sister didn't ask after my ill son - NU.

Thread asking AIBU to be pissed off sister has asked if she can use the lasagne that I didn't use for a party -BU.

Turns out it's a combination of the 2.

FrenchJunebug · 23/02/2015 13:51

It's a lasagna we're talking about, so another vote for shove (unless it has kobe meat in it, in which case eat it and blame dog/cat/freezer packing up)

HesterShaw · 23/02/2015 13:54

Jeez, what's this lasagne made of FFS? Caviar and truffles? How did it "cost quite a bit to make"? Confused

kat360 · 23/02/2015 13:55

Waitingonasunnyday

I read this thinking 'well of course, a lasagne is far too sloppy to shove up anyone's backside' - however as is frozen YANBU

I lost it at this comment, I literally cannot breathe properly Grin

HesterShaw · 23/02/2015 13:55

Ah I see I was beaten to it with the caviar and truffles quip.

Summerisle1 · 23/02/2015 13:57

She's being unbelievably petty. Give her the £10 (the lasagne is in your dish anyway so you'll want to keep it) and don't accept any future offers of catering!

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2015 13:58

Bartholomew - sorry I wasn't thinking and then didn't edit - yes perfectly normal to make for say your brother and then he makes for you. Smile

I was just staggered that OP's Dsis wanted said lasagne back... and said which it seems that OP's Dsis didn't reciprocate.

Kind of her to make the lasagne though...

HesterShaw · 23/02/2015 13:58

This thread is reminding me so much of the Father Ted Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse episode :o

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2015 13:58

Hester yes I got it all in... maybe champagne and strawberries sweet lasagne sprinkled with edible gold dust?! Grin

OnlyLovers · 23/02/2015 13:59

Wow. Utterly mean and miserable.

Tell her she's welcome to it back, but she does realise doesn't she that people may well have vomited near/on it ...

And I agree with the PP who said don't accept anything from her again.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/02/2015 14:00

ah but French isn't Kobe one of those meats that one isn't sure if it's the real deal (Kobe that is) or not? discussion somewhere not sure on MN about that one...

BartholomewCrouch · 23/02/2015 14:02

Ah, OK no worries. Smile

But I 'really' would give it back if I hadn't used it and she needed it, without hesitating or minding or going onto internet forums.

MumSnotBU · 23/02/2015 14:04

I would just give her it back, her lack of generosity or empathy should not make you behave badly too. Or ask her round to eat it, then it is easy for you to keep the dish.

Either way, I wouldn't give it much headspace. Dwelling on other people's bad behaviour won't really make you feel good.

HesterShaw · 23/02/2015 14:09

Damn you SuperFyHigh :o