AIBU to be glad I have 2 boys

[Lazaretto]

The lack of respect towards girls in our society is getting worse. I can't believe sending pics of your breasts is now common place for teenage girls. These images are in the majority of cases expected and then shared amongst peers. How has it come to this? I wouldn't even know how to start protecting any daughters I had. Whereas, I think it's easier to instil respect in women in boys than in girls. Can't believe how much times have changed.

Not speaking for Chessie but for in my case I am just stating that knowing what a bitch I was/friends were/the many girls I have taught are - girls are and will continue to be; boys just seem to be more upfront and then move on

As I am about to go to sleep - I will end my part in this discussion with the prom point again - boys are far more cheaper at this point in their lives than girls!

I think being complacent about how much easier it is to raise boys is a frightening POV.

Yes, girls are more likely to be victims of abuse etc, but it's men who are normally the perpetrators, so clearly plenty of mothers of sons are not raising their sons well.

Less complacency, more respect for others, that's what's needed.

Cricketballs, NOT just proms.

We got married last summer...both Ds's suits/shoes cost less put together that one similarly aged BM outfit

You make it sound like as a mother of boys this issue you have posted about has nothing to do with you and boy are you relieved, when it will have everything to do with you and how you raise your sons. You worry me.

But chessie00 they may one day be the ones perpertrators!!! Can you not see that. Fucking Hell. All these acts are dome by somebody's son. How complacent can you be, get real.

I'm not complacent at all.

You can raise a child 'right' whilst still being glad that they're a particular sex. The two are not mutually exclusive.

You and others on this thread do come across as complacent though.

I would no more want my children to be the perpetrators of abuse than the victims, and I'm sorry but as the mother of sons you are as likely to raise abusers as I am to raise victims of abuse (as the mother of daughters). I don't see that either is preferable.

How about the fact that boys / young men are statistically more likely to commit suicide than girls / young women. Does that make you glad you had boys?

cricket I don't deny there are huge differences between boys and girls. Boys, yes, they don't act like girls do, but they also have their annoying traits too? Boys may well move on after saying their bit but there is the competitive tetosorene fuelled macho stuff going on that can be just as unpleasant on a different front.

Of course there were the mean girls at my DC's school (I can't bring myself to call them bitches) but I was never a bitch at school age (I was a timid little mouse) and nor were my DD's. They avoided the mean girls - they were called the populars, easy to avoid if you want to. They certainly didn't represent 90% of the females at the school - the core were more like 10% to be honest, with a few hangers on. They just got on with their cattiness amongst themselves, they tried to draw more in and that did happen, but they were avoidable. Of course, there were fallings out, tears, upsets along the way but it was just part of growing up and not a huge problem and believe me I have one DD who was and still is a complete drama queen. Bringing up girls has i's issues and pinch points, same with boys.

As for the prom, you will think I am being deliberately obtuse here. No problem whatsoever with that. I bought both DD's dresses in TK Maxx for under £30. In fact, they were so cheap with one of the DD's I bought two and let her keep both and choose on the night which to wear. They painted their own nails, I faffed about doing their hair, one I can remember putting some St Tropez on her legs and they ran out the door after doing their own make up. Boys are just as bad nowadays aren't they, with fake tans, ponced up hair etc. As I said before, I just don't know what the problem is.

I suppose what I'm saying is - I can't imagine posting a thread saying how glad I am I have DD's and not DS's. Either gender brings its challenges and a thread like that is bound to annoy those with DDs, as it would if I posted a thread saying how glad I was I don't have DSs.

I really would have loved to have a DS (I have a DSS but I wasn't involved in his upbringing as he lives abroad). I love having my DDs and I'm very happy with my lot. . I am very close to a godson of mine and he is fantastic. I just find this thread a bit superior and setting the genders against each other.

My SIL is a teacher and she said one of the worst things about teaching teenagers is managing the difficult situations many find themselves in, around the sending or possession of semi-clothed/naked photos. It's apparently incredibly common and she takes the stance that if we are to have any chance of protecting our young people (girls AND boys) then we have to tackle the problem from both sides.

There are many reason why they demand/send/distribute this material and no one case is the same. No, it's not always the boys demanding it from the girls, neither is it always the girls spontaneously sending the material without request. What we have to deal with is the expectation on both sides that it's an 'expected' or 'cool' thing to do to get the attention many teens crave, just like smoking was in our day. Each one of us, whether we have boys or girls bear a responsibility to ensure our children are aware of the damage such behaviour can have. I don't think teenagers think of this themselves until it's too late in a lot of cases.

How about the fact that boys / young men are statistically more likely to commit suicide than girls / young women. Does that make you glad you had boys?

Nasty, nasty nasty.

I am not so sure if girls these days do have much more pressure put on them than boys.

That was obviously the case in the past but I have three boys and two girls and I am not noticing much difference.

My boys still often think they should look a certain way to get acceptance. My friend who is a teacher says there are many boys who worry about their weight and their body shape. My son worries because he is small built and doesn't have the body type that he thinks most people find attractive. While boy's are not as bombarded with images of 'perfect' men in the media I think it is becoming more of a problem for them now a days.

Boys are more likely to kill themselves, I know there is still very much the attitude that boys can't cry or show much emotion without being labeled as weak. Of course there is violence and muggings and so on.

You are kidding yourself if you think having boys is easier. Both sexes have their problems and pressures.

How is that nasty, nasty, nasty?

It's a true fact!

nothing nasty nasty nasty about that statement, it is the truth.

Well, it is a nasty statement to make when some people will have had the loss of a young man in their family. My cousin took his own life before Christmas and yes, it was nasty. But, it's just a fact isn't it. I'll make sure I tell that to my Aunt and Uncle next time I see them.

well you don't need to do that hamish, that would be silly wouldn't it?

Oh dear.

OP - You are being unreasonable, but I do think somewhere deep down you already know that.

It's one thing for girls to send explicit pictures of themselves, because they are pressured to by either a specific person, or by messages from society in general telling them it's a cool thing to do. But men aren't exactly immune from stuff like that - if anything it's even worse!!! The number of teenagers that send unsolicited "dick pics" to random women they don't even know, I consider to be a much more serious issue. Likewise, teenager boys using horrifically sexually aggressive threats and "jokes" both online and in person.

eloquent hamish!

I don't always think it's easier to teach boys to respect women btw.

My DSS has had his mum and me as strong empowered women in his life, working in male dominated fields and generally not taking crap. His dad and step dad also are blokes who believe in respecting women. Despite many conversations, lecturers and openness he still watched porn at 15 and has lost his phone for some of the derogatory texts he's sent his mates about girls from school. (God that bitch pissed me right off, needs a good slap etc). If you met him, he's lovely, polite and approachable but when with his mates, stupidity can take over no matter how much we educate him.
We do come down on him hard if we hear him or see texts even though he's now at college. But it hasn't been easy at all.

I have boys and girls, and I would never in a million years show the kind of complacency demonstrated by a number of posters here. Prisons are filled with men, they commit the VAST majority of crimes, they are more likely to end up homeless, commit suicide and get attacked. And to the poster who described teenage girls as bitches...how dare you!! I know absolutely lovely, beautiful teenage girls who volunteer, care for their families and are utterly selfless. I know teen boys who thieve, assault and care nothing for anyone. So keep your disgusting stereotypes to yourself.