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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find my BIL's declaration of love for my sister annoying and awkward?

137 replies

Daryldixonswife · 22/02/2015 19:30

For example we all had dinner at my mothers on Friday evening. We'll be having a conversation, and then he'll just come out with "god I love you" randomly in the middle of the conversation.

He does this quite a lot.

They have been married 7 years so not really in the honeymoon phase.

Of course I'm happy that me sister found someone who clearly adores and loves her but I don't think during group conversations you have to randomly interject with declarations of love for your partner.

OP posts:
RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 08:55

Its not normal though to need all assembled that he loves her so much.
He is telling the audience, not her .

So why?
It sounds suspicious to me .
If my teen DC were present they would spend the next week "loving" each other passionately "God I love YOU,no I Luuuuurve you but I love you mooooore etc"
He would never do it again !Grin

velourvoyageur · 23/02/2015 08:55

so many cynics on here!

I think it's really cute.
I've had friends where it's quite normal to do that kind of thing....you're laughing and having a warm moment and you feel like saying aw I do love you! So you do. Communication's a good thing guys.

thatsucks · 23/02/2015 09:12

Agree it's for the audience, not her.

I think he either likes making other people uncomfortable, likes being centre of attention, is covering up for shagging around or is making it clear she's his property.

Is he bad at social cues etc in other ways?

RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 09:16

I can see that happening in a friendship group type situation . A bit tipsy
Aww Love you etc etc

Its the "God I love you" randomly dropped into conversation all the time
Its cringey and attention seeking and as I said before he sounds like he is trying to convince himself.

My DH would get the look Hmm

ivykaty44 · 23/02/2015 09:38

Perhaps op you should try your own GOD I moment

God I need a poo
Every time he has a god I love you moment...

VeronicaCaCa · 23/02/2015 10:11

Very odd. You need to borrow Rita's teens!

RatMort · 23/02/2015 10:26

But does it actually interrupt the conversation? Because it sounds as if it's said and received semi-automatically, like a cleared throat or a regularly-blown nose, or something. I couldn't get excited about it unless it heralded significant sexy silences, or smouldering Byronic stares.

My BIL (an entirely ordinary 50 year old man otherwise) regularly comes out with 'oh, my poor little wife' out of the blue in the middle of meals - as far as I can see, the dynamic of his marriage is that she's a fragile flower, wilting under the strain of everyday life, and he's the big, strong protector. Ugh.

YoGatoradeMeBitch · 23/02/2015 10:57

OP your BIL sounds lovely, his timing is just a little out. Displays of affection seem to embaress you and many others going by this thread. That's a shame.

My XH was a bit of a cold fish unless we were alone. No touches, looks or sweet comments. If you saw us in a group you would have no idea we were anything other than acquaintances! My DP is very affectionate and I love it. Nothing over the top and not marking his territory. I love it Grin

balia your DH is great!

Sadly it is a British trait, stiff upper lip and all that. Hopefully with each new generation we will continue to lose that.

RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 11:34

You are assuming we are all British !Yo

Kindness and mutual affection is fine no tongues!

Randomly announcing "God I love you" in an intense way into a friendly chat about the weather is a bit try hard and strangely is all about the Bil " look how great I am and how lucky she is to have me" blech !

BrendaBlackhead · 23/02/2015 11:51

I think it's a bit off, as any behaviour that could embarrass other people is bad manners.

And as for pressone on page 1 of the thread who works for the same company as her dh and says they say sweet nothings to each other in the office - Shock . Seriously unprofessional. And very awkward for their colleagues.

LayMeDown · 23/02/2015 11:51

Well I am not British and I would find this embarassing.

Its fine people saying it to each other when they are having their own conversations, but interjecting it into the middle of a group conversation is weird.

I have to say no one would get away with this in our family. They would get the piss unmercifully ripped out of them a la Rita's teenagers.

As for the over the top PDAs described by another poster with you all just looking at the floor? This would never happen, because everyone else would be shouting 'get a room' at them as soon as it started.

YoGatoradeMeBitch · 23/02/2015 11:52

No Rita I'm not assuming that. My comment was that it is a British trait. And for many it is, more so for older generations.

Is it all about the BIL? If he had tapped his wine glass to get everyone's attention and then declared his love, then yes. But it doesn't sound like that from the OP. He just sounds soppy and in love. And why not I say Smile

Oh and agreed, no tongues!

SirChenjin · 23/02/2015 11:54

What is a British trait?

DustyPinkBrogues · 23/02/2015 12:00

I would almost certainly be unable not to laugh. Or vom.

DH and I frequently tell each other we love each other. To each other, not the whole family.

RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 12:23

Yo you applied it to this situation -why ? if you don't think those who have commented or the couple are British ?Confused

Soppy and in love is holding hands, have a little cuddle etc.
"god I love you" repeated randomly in public conversations is weird and not romantic at all !

Has he just started this OP ?Im dying to find out why ?

RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 12:26

OMG I just reread the OP just in case I am missing something and he says it in a "turned on way "Shock

Oh bloody hell ,utterly cringeworthy!
The DC would howl !

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 23/02/2015 12:29

In a 'turned on way' is definitely weird.

I don't think it's weird in itself though - sometimes I'll come out with something funny (it has been known to happen) or geeky, and OH will say 'God I love you' or 'that's why I'm marrying you'. It's just daft. And I think it's sweet Grin

RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 12:31

I know !
Lets all do it, in public, with friends etc ,turn to your DH/DP/DW and say passionately "God,I love you!" and see what the response is Grin

I would put good money on DH saying " what have you bought ? " and the DC going "Muuuuuum FGS Hmm"

anonacfr · 23/02/2015 12:31

Maybe it's a game they are playing. They are secretly working on embarrassing the shit out of everyone and seeing how far they can take it until someone tells them to stop.

RitaOrange · 23/02/2015 12:33

That sounds sweet and appropriate ,not weird and creepy though Moomin

ShatnersBassoon · 23/02/2015 12:34

I've never seen my sister and BIL do anything that would suggest they know each other are a couple, so I think a random declaration of love would have me Shock Confused Grin Hmm Wine

I'd probably be a bit jealous too, actually.

YoGatoradeMeBitch · 23/02/2015 12:39

SirChenjin please read my post again. "And for many it is...." No sweeping generalisation there.

Rita why not? I am British, my family are not very affectionate. My opinions are drawn from my experience.

SirChenjin · 23/02/2015 12:43

And why is it a trait for many Brits?

ChoochiWoo · 23/02/2015 12:44

Haha god that sounds so cringey...

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 23/02/2015 12:45

I'm with the majority, this is totally vom inducing behavior. If I was in this situation, I would most definitely have burst out laughing, as would my sister if her partner came out with such cringey rubbish.

Makes me think of the brilliant Bleak Expectations,

"I love you"
"And I love cake"

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