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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find my BIL's declaration of love for my sister annoying and awkward?

137 replies

Daryldixonswife · 22/02/2015 19:30

For example we all had dinner at my mothers on Friday evening. We'll be having a conversation, and then he'll just come out with "god I love you" randomly in the middle of the conversation.

He does this quite a lot.

They have been married 7 years so not really in the honeymoon phase.

Of course I'm happy that me sister found someone who clearly adores and loves her but I don't think during group conversations you have to randomly interject with declarations of love for your partner.

OP posts:
Hassled · 22/02/2015 19:57

That's sweet and weird, but mostly buttock-clenchingly weird. How does your sister react?

scarletforya · 22/02/2015 19:58

What an attention seeking tool !

Isn't your sister embarrassed?

CatsClaus · 22/02/2015 19:59

does he pee on door mats to similarly mark his territory?

Original poster
Daryldixonswife · 22/02/2015 19:59

Once you're grown up and not at high school, you don't need to be all over each other especially in public or in front of your family.

He's in his 40s so ... not sure how much more growing up there is to do.

OP posts:
balia · 22/02/2015 20:01

Better than my beloved DH's text to me today from our DD's flat where he is working on the bathroom.

"Started grouting. Thinking of you loads."

Original poster
Daryldixonswife · 22/02/2015 20:02

Isn't your sister embarrassed?

I'm not sure. She smiles, but I guess shes just used to it. He does it a lot.

OP posts:
soontobemumofthree · 22/02/2015 20:03

Balia Smile

mrsminiverscharlady · 22/02/2015 20:04

My cousin's husband used to be even worse...he once asked her if she fancied having sex that evening while we were in the middle of a family lunch Shock He ended leaving her for another woman so maybe all is not as rosy as it appears?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/02/2015 20:04

Is he a character from a Merchant Ivory movie?

BingoBonkers · 22/02/2015 20:06

*Better than my beloved DH's text to me today from our DD's flat where he is working on the bathroom.

"Started grouting. Thinking of you loads."*

Now THAT's true love. Brilliant.

AnnieMorel · 22/02/2015 20:07

My ILs are as dull as ditchwater. They don't talk over dinner - it's excruciating.

I would love a diversion to snurk over later.

BingoBonkers · 22/02/2015 20:08

Better than my beloved DH's text to me today from our DD's flat where he is working on the bathroom.

"Started grouting. Thinking of you loads."

Now THAT's true love. Brilliant.

Ignore complete bold failure previously.

TheCowThatLaughs · 22/02/2015 20:08

Is he dabbing MDMA in the bog?

That was my first thought too, Saucy Grin

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/02/2015 20:09

Not necessarily Merchant Ivory but one of those low budget film four type movies based on novels about the relationships of posh people.

Earlier in the movie the BIL character would have said that he fell I love with her because of the graceful way she dished up potatoes. Then they will have had some relationship drama before realising that they True Love.

Then in the last scene she will be dishing up potatoes causing him to make his declaration - to the bemusement of the posh secondary characters (probably played by Judi Dench and Bill Nighy) - cue piano music and fade to black

Was that how it played out?

TheCowThatLaughs · 22/02/2015 20:11

The thought of a boyfriend or partner actually doing that to me is quite nauseating though. I would feel very very uncomfortable, even if everyone present was on MDMA

TooTiredToThinkOfAUsername · 22/02/2015 20:12

Barf. But then maybe I'm just a miserable cow? Not a fan of pdas or any such nonsense.

Do you have a partner? Could you be hilariously competitive in response? BIL says god I love you and then you and partner steadily try to out do each other in saccharine excessiveness getting more extreme each time BIL does it?

KERALA1 · 22/02/2015 20:13

Absolutely nothing wrong with saying it. But feeling the need to say it with an audience is weird, cringeworthy and suspicious. Totally protesting too much as well.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/02/2015 20:18

I'm with SirChenjin. I think there is something very odd and rude about somebody who would interject in the middle of a conversation with something so exclusive and unnecessary. It's private isn't it? I think it should be. I would be highly embarrassed and I wouldn't find it cute, funny or endearing in the slightest. It's just mawkish and attention-seeking.

I too wondered if he needs to do this to compensate for something?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/02/2015 20:20

balia's husband sounds nice. Grouting and thinking of his wife. Grin

SirChenjin · 22/02/2015 21:00

Why does grout make your DH think of you Balia? Grin

balia · 22/02/2015 21:19

I'll be sure to ask him when he finally gets in. it won't have occurred to him that it isn't just a nice thing to say, bless him.

Original poster
Daryldixonswife · 22/02/2015 21:36

Hmm.. Why on earth would you be anything less than happy for your sister that she has someone who adores her.

Because sadly on MN sometimes you have to point out the obvious.

Otherwise I'd get accused of being jealous, hating her and wanting her to be unhappy etc.

OP posts:
DoJo · 22/02/2015 21:36

It does sound a bit weird - suddenly shutting down a group conversation to direct a personal comment at one person in the room is a bit of a recipe for social awkwardness. I had friends who used to literally whisper sweet nothings to each other when in company and we ended up winding down the friendship because it was so excruciating and made us feel uncomfortable in our own home to be excluded from a private, sexy conversation between our dinner guests!

maras2 · 22/02/2015 21:41

Either drugs or OW.I love my DH of 40 and tell him often but not in public FFS < vom >

SirChenjin · 22/02/2015 21:45

Aww - it was a nice thing for him to say Balia. Wish my DH would do the grouting AND send me a nice text