J'Accuse... I do not believe a sizeable minority on here when they say "I blah blah blah"

[Salmotrutta]

E.g. :-
"I cook from scratch" - I hate "from scratch". We used to say "everything was homemade".

And those of you who state "homemade potato wedges" ? ...yeah, I'm impressed. So that would be some potatoes shoved in the oven then?

Is "cloth bummed" just using old-fashioned cloth nappies?

Because I did that with mine.

Awesome.

Christ, I used a sling with DD too! She was exclusively breastfed, weaned herself, slept with me till 3 years old...I'm practically a lentil weaving feathery strokery type

I'll do the same with the next one...because, once again, I'm a lazy bellend who just can't be arsed with all the faffing that parenting presents.

imagine agonising over choices in raising another human?! fuck that, pass the rum

Expat great thread.

I put weetabix in my 4 month old babies bottle in 1989, was advised to do so by my lovely mil. He survived.

My older ones also had bottles of tea on cold days.

Ha! That expat is a hairy-handed bridge-dweller - she does NOT live with London!!

Yes and only on mumsnet is it seen as perfectly sensible to buy your 8 year old ds a party dress and let him wear it to school. And no one bats an eyelid. No one teases.

Or even IN London (I don't think that her DH's name is 'London' either)

Dare I say it? My ds has a nickname for his REAL NAME, its on his bc and everything,

I was an uber sanctimommy.

Rules, rules, routine, no nasty food, rules, scheduled activities and more rules.

Then they went to Secondary School and I discovered MN.

And copped on to myself. Never cooked anything since (DH does it all), quit ironing (no one noticed), stopped micromanaging homework (if it didn't get done, the kids took the flack and learned that it was their responsibility) and dropped most of the RULES.

Everyone became happier, especially me. They are grown now, no one is obese and we actually like each other.

Wish I'd had MN earlier, would have saved me a world of stress.

The thing is, most of us do some or all of those things, on this particular forum it was a badge of honour, the longer your signature list the better the mum you were if you like.
Why advertise it? Just get on with it, as long as it suits you and your child, nobody cares.
I only went for bfeeding advice, I got slated for not using a sling - complex back injury can't tolerate them, I got told I hadn't found the right one. I'd been to a sling library and everything, but no I must not have known my own body. Crackers!

I haven't been on a bike since I was about 10, love meat and if someone offers me beer, ale or wine I'm going to say yes.

I'm particularly fond of the "Meditation/Spirital Birthing Doula" type pages...has me chortling like no one's business.

I saw a woman offering "uterus counselling"...brilliant, fucking brilliant!

I have free range children who know how to set their own boundaries and are capable of making decisions for themselves because I am a lazy fucker because I am such a good parent apparently.

Everyone lives in a 'quiet cul-de-sac' impervious to all road traffic so it's fine to let your toddler roam around on their own whilst you plow the veg garden with a Victorian age hoe you found in the barn.

I've just read some of that juice thread.

That poor OP!

...we actually like each other

See, that's what I am aiming for.

And yes, my babies turned me in to much more of a hippy mum than I ever thought I'd be, but hey ho, it worked for us (or at least stopped me from running away or jumping off a bridge).

"Uterus counselling" - now there's something I never had any need for. Baby whispering would have been v welcome or strong sedatives

Oh i hate sanctimummies too especially the fb brigade. ..."thats bailey fed and changed now its time for a cuppa" ...ooh wow supermum

Mmnnnnn....we have Findus crispy pancakes but they are delivered by Ocado, so it's totally fine!

Actually my favourite sanctimony is shopping based - people who claim they spend hours buying fresh fruit / veg for 10p/ their weekly shopping is something ridiculous like £40 for 5 people because everything is cooked from scratch and thanks to meal planning and one chicken, it is plenty.

I'm not talking about people desperately trying to save money by the way - although most people I know are skint / struggling, and none of them do this.

I am the kind of woman who wonders into a swimming pool with a bra still on under my costume.

Well meaning onlooker - "did you mean to still be wearing your bra?"

Me "oh yeah for sure"

The Christmas threads were the best for competitive food shopping £20 for Christmas lunch for 12 people. How!!

And the fabled MN chicken.

KatieScarlett - I think the opposite. MN causes a whole world of stress. It's a microclimate of sanctimoniousness. I've found myself doubting myself as a parent after reading some of the stuff peddled on here.

My dc eat crisps, biscuits, play on iPads and the xBox, don't have at least ten portions of fruit and veg per day. I shout at them when they are being little shits (and yes, I call them that in my head), I drink alcohol when they are in the house, DH gets royally pissed when he goes out with friends as do I, the dc don't have music lessons, we are quite often still in pyjamas after lunchtime at the weekend, they are allowed McDonalds. I bloody loved sending them as babies to the GPs for the night. And the piece de resistance - DH smokes rollies. We are actually pretty normal and not refugees from the Chatsworth estate .

I feel like an alien sometimes on MN so this thread is rather refreshing to read.

I really, genuinely nearly boaked when I Googled lotus birth. I at least should have avoided the images. Ick. I mean, to each their own, sure - but that one is definitely not for me.

Ocado deliver Findus Crispy Pancakes? OMFG, why did no one tell me this before?!

And while we're on the subject, I'm right pissed off that our Asda has stopped selling the squeezy pouches of jelly they used to do. DS used to love them.

Depends on which posters you read

If you ignore quite a lot of topics, you quickly find the like minded. Here, for example.

I have not hidden any topics because at times I do enjoy a bit of rubber necking
I am quite good at hiding threads that get on my tits though. I and don't comment either

And margot
Could have written your list word for word
Your kids will turn out just fine and will probably want to visit you often in your dotage. Mine certainly do. -Wish they would feck off sometimes, for some peace. DS is supposed to be in halls but is here, DD should be out doing unspeakable teen stuff but was in last night with 7 of her mates drinking and playing SingStar--

How is this thread not a massive all-out bundle?

Espesh as Salmo did not include Light-Hearted in the title and it's in AIBU and all?

I read the first few posts and expected exchange of cannon-fire and light infantry charges by page four, but all I can see are outbreaks of cordiality and accord. God damn you all - will nobody think of the haterz?

I do agree with all the fabulousness on here, but do need my daily dose of duffings-up from a safe lurking distance.