To tell our daughter that it's gonna be tough being female?

[MissyMew123]

So hubby tells DD that she can be anything she wants to be, which I fully support, (this comes about after watching the The Voice and she asks why only one girl judge?) I say it's tough being female in a male dominated world. AIBU or just being realistic about the world we live in? He was mad with me cause in my experience it is harder to achieve as a woman. I'd rather she knows that or is it better that she thinks nothing but her abilities will get in her way?

Yanbu, dd has already worked this out for herself. Most of the politicians are male, almost all of the sport she sees on tv is male. This is the reality of the world we live in everyday and I cannot see it changing anytime soon. That isn't being defeatist, it's being aware.

Just tell her with enough work and effort she can be anything :)

almost all of the sport she sees on tv is male.

If she only watches football, rugby, darts, snooker maybe! The ones that are still very male oriented... have professional male standing but no/few female professionals, yet.

Why not focus on the sports that show as much/more women than men - track and field athletics, cycling, sailing, tennis....

Then use the Red Button and watch the women's football, rugby, snooker matches on BBC.

I'm another of those weirdly blinkered women who doesn't find being female much of a handicap. I have pretty much done what I wanted to do... and only once has a male colleague tried to stop me... as others have said, my 'fuck you' attitude was fully working by then and he got very short shrift!

I'd rather be a woman than a man, at least I got the chance to give up work and stay at home with the children; much, much harder to do that if you're a man. It's not all doom and gloom.

Eh? The reason most men don't become SAHDs is because they are the main earner, and their family can't afford it. Hardly the sign of true equality between the sexes . I find that really depressing actually.

OP, I was brought up by a feminist mum and dad who always told us we could be anything we wanted (except the Pope!). My three sisters and I have all done very well in life and hold positions in senior management/consultancy.

Yes there is sexism in the world, and it is rife in some fields including mine, but I think giving your DD wings to fly, and the belief she can achieve if she works hard, is key until she is quite a bit older. So no, I would not be telling her it's tough to be female. Otherwise you risk just shutting doors for her before she even knew they existed, or because she will think there is no point trying to achieve certain goals - which I'm sure is the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

Sorry I'm on a role here but some of the comments on this thread are making me sad:

So there are not many female prime ministers or heads of companies etc but what %tage of the population are these anyway? Lets be honest most men don't get to do these jobs.

It doesn't matter that 'most' men are not super achievers. There is no reason why women cannot achieve at the same level as men, in the same numbers.

Career ambition is a good thing.

Haven't read more than the OP, but I think it is important for women to know that our rights have to be defended.

The history of Ireland and England shows how the condition of women has gone up and down. Women were in a much better position in 1910, before the vote even, than they were in the 1950s. So if people keep on thinking that feminism is a bad word, we could very easily lose everything again.

I'm a 34 year old woman and don't think my gender's affected my life much either way, apart from the fact I'm the one who actually gave birth to our DCs. I've genuinely never felt personally disadvantaged by it. So YAB a bit U.

almost all of the sport she sees on tv is male There is the joke that if you get your daughter into horses she will:

• never have the spare cash for drugs.
• give all her love to her pony and keep her away from nasty boys.

But maybe we should add a third item:

• she will see men and women competing equally in sport, using whatever their strengths are to push themselves into the lead - what many of the women lack in physical strength vs the men, they gain in weight advantage, and skill from both male and female riders is essential. You will not hear a rider saying they have less chance of winning because they are female!

It is a fairly simplistic thing to suggest, but I credit an early submersion in a sport where men and women compete on equal terms, and was also so incredibly expensive that I learnt early on that sheer bloody hard work was the only thing that was going allow me take part, with being the main driving factors in getting me where I am today. I hope that I can pass onto my daughter AND my son that hard work is important and can get you further than you might expect, and that men and women both have equal worth and should be treated as such.

Well, being female never held me back. It doesn't have to.

But choices made early on can have huge impact. What subjects to study, what degree to do...

That and a willingness to be flexible and do whatever it takes to get a task done...

So if people keep on thinking that feminism is a bad word, we could very easily lose everything again.

Whether people think feminism is a bad word or not is largely irrelevant to an individual's ability to treat others equally. Feminism has done many good things but to give it credit for all of women's progress is generous IMHO.

Sadly feminism doesn't have a great reputation, due to the most vocal, but the majority of public sincerely believe that equality is a positive thing to strive for.

Feminism has done many good things but to give it credit for all of women's progress is generous IMHO.

So what else gets credit?

Really? What an odd thing to do?
I have patents who always told me I could do anything I wanted and I have.
I've Been at the top of three careers and Been successful in many other fields

Lovely I'm alright jack attitude here

Where?

Yabu !

they wanted more women in the profession

It was likely an advantage being a woman in this instance because someone's consciousness has been raised about lack of equality in this particular profession and they set out to redress the balance somewhat. All of which actually proves the point about how hard it can be for women, especially in professions and industries that are not as welcoming as this one was.

You might find it depressing Prima, but it was what I wanted to do. I worked hard at school, had the opportunity to go to university, but I didn't want to go. What I wanted to do was to have a family, and be a full time mother. I appreciate that's probably not exactly at the pinnacle of most people's ambitions, but if that's what I wanted, and what I got to do, then it is a perfectly valid ambition.

It's an ambition that's equally valid for a man, but as you said, they're traditionally the main earner, and it's not something that's as easy for them to achieve.

It saddens me that such an important role in our society is deemed to be not ambition worthy. I've been looked down on on numerou occasions because I didn't want to have a career, personally I find that quite insulting.

I'm a full time mother. I also go to work. I don't stop being a mother when I'm at work, it's possible to do both

Ok let me rephrase that, I wanted to be a mother who stayed at home with her children, rather than go out to work.

"It saddens me that such an important role in our society is deemed to be not ambition worthy."

I agree with this. I've actually just said something similar on another thread.

I have 2 grown up lads and 2 teen dds.

I think it's far easier being a girl/woman.

I would hate to he a man actually.

Life can he hard for anyone. The sex organs are irrelevant.

Go go ops dd.

Yes I agree with you there bumbly being a sahm is lovely and a very important role. Just as any job done well is.

I agree with Stratters, tbh. I went to university but then decided that a high-flying career wasn't for me. It's not something I want and working 10-12 hours a day for thirty years of my life isn't something I would ever choose to do (having to do it to pay bills is different, obviously).

But I get looked down on because I "had so much potential". Feminism is about women having the right to CHOOSE. I chose not to pursue a career but apparently that means I'm not successful

I agree with the posters who said that it is your wording and not the meaning that it is unreasonable.

I agree with you and i could add
another 10 things i.e. wrong accent, wrong colour, wrong background,
extra weight, disability, looks, wrong name/surename etc. Some people have to work harder in order to reach their goals.

And i m not sure that you can become anything you like. For example i am very short, i could try to be a model but it would have been a waste of time. Just like people who can not sing and insist that they are talented.
I think it is about working hard AND choosing what suits your skills/talent/place and time etc. Hard word as well as some realism and self-awareness.
I imagine that the succesful posters who had confidence from their parents have also choosen the right for them career? As well as working hard and being focused? Would have they been succesful as singers or painters?
I think your dh was more unreasonable tbh.
How old is your dd and what does SHE want to be?