AIBU to think my friend was right to not give up her seat? Yes, another train one.

[MythicalKings]

Friend was taking two of her grandchildren to a city 60 miles away for a half term treat. Part of the treat was the train journey there and back so she reserved seats for the three of them. The journey there was uneventful and they had a lovely day. But were very tired when they boarded the train to go home.

The train had filled up before it left the station and people were standing so she moved one child from his reserved seat to sit with her and the other GC - three of them on a seat made for 2. More people got on at the next station and it was uncomfortably crowded.

A man told my friend his wife needed to sit down so the children should stand. F said they had already given up one reserved seat and they were tired, so the children wouldn't be standing.

The man muttered about people with no manners and went further down the carriage.

She's feeling guilty now but she was so tired she couldn't face standing on a crowded train so didn't offer her seat. I think she was totally reasonable.

MN jury?

That's rubbish, judgerinder - able-bodied adults can balance/hold on on trains better than children, and children can't reach many of the hand rails on tube trains. I know because I judge my ability, as a woman in my 40s, compared to my perfectly able bodied dc aged 13, 10 and 7. Having said that, I would never let my children sit if there were octogenarians and the like needing a seat.

Nae fucker will ever make my children sit on the floor of a tube train - to be trampled by some of the arseholes that barge around the LU. Plus it's dangerous, people would trip over them. I have had selfish fuckers people on the underground barge between me and my children even when I'm holding their hands.

These are children we're talking about ffs.

There is no way my child would sit on the floor of a busy train where they are likely to get trodden on or tripped over.

Yes, we have often sat on the floor - not a tube train, we don't live in London. The train in my scenario is only stopping every 20 mins or so at a station, hardly likely to get tripped over - where would anyone be going? And quite comfy in the large space in the area there are no seats in the middle of the carriage. I have fibromyalgia and Cfs so I'd rather sit than stand. Obviously I wouldn't sit on the floor of a tube! Anyway, the point is - I would have moved one of the children if there was a good reason to. I might have pointed out I had a hidden disability if I felt the other person was swinging the lead but I would always let an elderly, disabled person or pregnant woman sit regardless.

on the tube its easy to wedge up to the wall or near a verticle bar to hang on to

My 8 yo would have trouble standing on a train. He has trouble walking without falling over, and no spatial awareness. I have to cling on to him if we're standing on the tube/train.

If there's only one seat I would sit my children down first, I've had far more experience of standing on trains and know when to plant my feet as the train brakes etc.

I was on the tube this week, standing as we were only going a couple of stops, and a man offered me a seat!! I was really shocked, and decided I must look pregnant or something. Diet starts tomorrow!

Also, have I missed the post (most likely!) where the OP has said they were travelling during rush hour? Because almost every train I've been on recently, at all times of the day, has been absolutely packed.

Why should a child stand for an adult unless the adult is a) heavily pregnant b) very old c) clearly has problems with their legs?

The Tube trains have a seat by the door which gives priority to those who need it most. Sometimes those who need it most are small children.

I was on a bus once when I was heavily pregnant when someone with a large suitcase got on. She said "you need to stand up so I can put my suitcase there". I said "I'm pretty sure that because I am carrying this baby, I get priority over your luggage. Put it somewhere else."

Not read the entire thread, but I have actually given up my seat to children. Standing in among a lot of towering adults is threatening and possibly dangerous.

IMO children travelling for free should go on an adult's lap when fare paying passengers are standing.

I don't think the OP's friend was BU. She had pre booked the seats and already made one available.

Sabrina if your children aged 13 10 and whatever the other was, have more difficulty hanging on and balancing than a person in their 40 s can I suggest they would benefit from taking gymnastics classes. I coach about 150 kids a week and it is very unusual for a child this age to have such poor physical skiils

judge That's a tad unfair. On a packed train, a small child wouldn't be able to reach the hand holds at the top of the sears comfortably (on my route, about 4' off the ground). They also have no.way of predicting the movement of the train or the space to react to it given that I often end up wedged in with no 'step out' room.

Back to the original OP, your friend WNBU. I say this as a commuter paying nearly £6k a year for my daily commute. I travel on rush hour trains and have on occasion given up ky reserved seat for someone obviously more in need, including children. As far as I.am concerned - young children, elderly, disabled, pregnant (though that's now me) - are more vulnerable and would benefit from a seat.

Now, for the record, on lots of routes commuters CAN reserve seats, you just need to speak to.the train company. If you have reserved a seat and can't don't one, speak to the guard (tricky on busy trains admittedly). If the train is a coach down they will often have reserved the seats in another coach. If not, most will find you a sear somewhere which may even.be in first class. If the whole train is missing reservations then this may be tricky so your last card to play is that (imo) if they can't seat you then they will normally refund your ticket.

Final point,be polite... I have a friend who effs and blinds and I seem to get upgraded and refunded much more than her when problems occur...

I reserve seats for the children whenever we go to London on the train because frankly, they're idiotic at the best of times let alone scampering about a moving train. I wouldn't ask them to give up seats we'd reserved for another person. No chance.

Surely you'll know in advance if you'll need a reserved seat and plan accordingly? Only time I'd consider moving would be if there was someone unwell, heavily pregnant or very frail. Everyone else can sort themselves out.

So many phone typos in my post. Hope you can.translate!