AIBU to think my friend was right to not give up her seat? Yes, another train one.

[MythicalKings]

Friend was taking two of her grandchildren to a city 60 miles away for a half term treat. Part of the treat was the train journey there and back so she reserved seats for the three of them. The journey there was uneventful and they had a lovely day. But were very tired when they boarded the train to go home.

The train had filled up before it left the station and people were standing so she moved one child from his reserved seat to sit with her and the other GC - three of them on a seat made for 2. More people got on at the next station and it was uncomfortably crowded.

A man told my friend his wife needed to sit down so the children should stand. F said they had already given up one reserved seat and they were tired, so the children wouldn't be standing.

The man muttered about people with no manners and went further down the carriage.

She's feeling guilty now but she was so tired she couldn't face standing on a crowded train so didn't offer her seat. I think she was totally reasonable.

MN jury?

Exactly gamer, op already gave one reserved seat. If people need to sit on a train they should have better planning and reserve like op did.

DGCs are 6 and 8, so tickers were paid for.

I do think that DCs travelling at reduced fare should "double up" on seats or sit on a parent's lap if the train is crowded and adults are standing. I am a bit old fashioned like that.

But I believe my friend had already "done her duty" as far as making room goes.

Even if the seats weren't reserved the friend had the right to stay in them, as long as they weren't reserved for someone else.

*tickets

YANBU at all

I think the current thinking is that it is better to have children in a seat than flying about the train or bus should it come to an abrupt halt.

Standing areas on buses and trains aren't designed with children in mind.

Op your friend should not give it another thought. She gave up one seat already.

Your friend WNBU.

Imo she should have kept her 3 seats!

Kvetch op friend booked seats.

Regular commuter here. Your friend WNBU at all. From a safety point of view it is far better to have children seated and as others have said, why should they be treated as second class citizens? I'm sure there were plenty of able bodied people able to stand. There always are. She should not feel guilty.

I was travelling on a crowded tube yesterday rush hour. A mix of commuters and very tired families after a day out.

I saw a young man jump up to a pregnant woman a seat, which was brave because I was still having the is she or isn't she debate in my head, but I also saw several young(ish) adults get up to give exhausted children a seat. I wouldn't assume an adult needed it more than a child and what's the point of booking seats if you're then expected to give them up?

Whoops cross post Kvetch. I'm not sure how you avoid travelling in rush hour on the homeward journey. Travel after rush hour in the morning and be home by 4 makes a very short day. Or, you have to stay put and not start your journey until after 6:30?

Nbu. Agree that children shouldn't automatically give up their seats for adults

But those in priority seats should be prepared to give up their seats - drives me mad when people in the priority seats pretend they don't see someone who needs it

I don't necessarily think she WBU not giving up a reserved seat, but as a daily commuter paying an extortionate amount per year for the 'pleasure' of getting to work, IMO she was BU booking seats on a rush hour train. All I can say is thank god half term is over. This week has been horrific.
There will always be a differing opinion between regular commuters and those who use trains/tube purely for leisure though I think! And I expect on here I'm in the minority!

I always got my children to give up seats for people ( and now in their teens, still expect them do for the elderly, pregnant etc). However, your friend is not in the wrong. They were reserved seats so she was fine. I hope it didn't spoil the day for her.

Kvetch op friend has every right to travel when she wants, they might have been so busy in the day that they had to travel back in rush hour, hence them having the forsight to reserve seats.

I was a regular commuter for years - school holiday trains were always quieter because half the commuters were off with their kids. Rush hours roads are always quieter in the holidays too.

Your friend was nbu at all.

Agree chertsey - most people won't travel during morning rush hour if they can avoid it because of cost, but it is difficult to avoid rush hour on the way home.

Train companies encourage day trippers as they increase revenue. If you are travelling with children it makes sense to book seats. If train companies lose day tripper customers to the roads, the most obvious thing for them to do is increase prices for season ticket holders.

This has bugged me now, how are families supposed to avoid the trains in rush hour (other than by staying home). Believe me it's no fun for them either.

2-3 hour journey into/out of London plus tube. When are they supposed to travel so that they don't hit on rush hour at any point in the day?

I wouldn't have given up any seats, if you need a seat you reserve it. If you don't well that's life and you take your chances at one maybe not being free when you get on.