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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my friend was right to not give up her seat? Yes, another train one.

140 replies

MythicalKings · 21/02/2015 08:19

Friend was taking two of her grandchildren to a city 60 miles away for a half term treat. Part of the treat was the train journey there and back so she reserved seats for the three of them. The journey there was uneventful and they had a lovely day. But were very tired when they boarded the train to go home.

The train had filled up before it left the station and people were standing so she moved one child from his reserved seat to sit with her and the other GC - three of them on a seat made for 2. More people got on at the next station and it was uncomfortably crowded.

A man told my friend his wife needed to sit down so the children should stand. F said they had already given up one reserved seat and they were tired, so the children wouldn't be standing.

The man muttered about people with no manners and went further down the carriage.

She's feeling guilty now but she was so tired she couldn't face standing on a crowded train so didn't offer her seat. I think she was totally reasonable.

MN jury?

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 21/02/2015 09:36

Your friend WNBU

Siarie · 21/02/2015 09:36

Obviously that only applies to trains and planes, other transport like buses where you can't reserve a seat in advance I would give up my seat to those in need.

GoadyGeisha · 21/02/2015 09:36

I notice that nobody else jumped up and offered their seat to this mans wife after your friend politely declined to give up hers. I really dislike the type of entitled attitude people like him seem to have.

Your friend was NBU, she shouldn't give it another moment's thought.

kvetch perhaps you should have a word with the rail companies and ask them not to allow seat reservations during the rush hour, with the exception of people with disabilities. Frankly it's not the other passengers' problem that you pay through the nose for your ticket, your need for a seat does not trump theirs based on how much you've paid.

Chertsey · 21/02/2015 09:37

Leave the city by 4:30, when you haven't arrived until 12 because you weren't allowed on the train before 9:30 in the morning Kvetch, you're allowed 41/2 hours in town on the one or two days a year you can mange the train fare? Really, you think that's reasonable?

nemo81 · 21/02/2015 09:37

Your friend wnbu.

I'm pregnant but got thrown out of my train seat by a mum that had a baby in a pram and wanted to sit near to where she left the pram. Confused

MirandaWest · 21/02/2015 09:38

Why shouldn't they travel back in rush hour? If you've been for a day out you might well want to stay until after 4:30.

GoadyGeisha · 21/02/2015 09:38

Apologies to kvetch I meant Zola !!

merrymouse · 21/02/2015 09:40

But it's not sensible or reasonable to plan your day like that when the train company are quite clearly saying they welcome your custom and are happy for you to book seats.

BestIsWest · 21/02/2015 09:40

Trains home have definitely been busier this week because of half term. Morning trains not so much on my run.

Zola1980 · 21/02/2015 09:41

More carriages planned for trains when demand is expected to go up would quite clearly be the answer but we can't expect the train companies to be quite that clever can we!

Kvetch15 · 21/02/2015 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MusicForTheMasses · 21/02/2015 09:44

The not travelling in rush hour is a silly comment. I live 2 hours from London by train so even if I took my kids and left at 4 we would still be on a train packed with commuters at some point!

MrsBungle · 21/02/2015 09:46

Not unreasonable in the slightest. I always reserve seats. When we were in London recently there were many times lovely people offered their seat on the tube to my 5 and 3 year olds who were being flung around whilst trying to hold on surrounded by giant people!

merrymouse · 21/02/2015 09:46

if you decide to dive in anyway you have to accept that you'll have a crap journey.

Except you don't because the train company want your company and are happy for you to book seats.

merrymouse · 21/02/2015 09:47

train company want your custom!

GoadyGeisha · 21/02/2015 09:47

kvetch Reading to Waterloo is 44 miles and takes about 1hr 40 minutes.

Then add on the tube journey to the place you are visiting and yes, it could take 2 and a half hours for a 60 mile train journey.

Chertsey · 21/02/2015 09:50

Kvetch, you live in a different world to me. A day out in London is a massive and expensive treat when you're paying for 4/5 people. Staying for dinner isn't something you can do just so some commuters aren't inconvenienced. If I leave home after morning rush-hour we're not in town until almost lunch-time.

Any yes, if you avoid the London rush, you're going to meet it somewhere else.

GoadyGeisha · 21/02/2015 09:50

That should have read 1hr 20 minutes!

QueenBean · 21/02/2015 09:52

The argument of commuters paying more for the journey is ridiculous - a family travelling in rush hour on a day return will be paying a much higher fare than the day rate of a season ticket so that point is null and invalid

Rail services are a public service and everyone should travel on it whenever theywish to.

This comes from a childless commuter!

Chertsey · 21/02/2015 09:52

Just think, if it wasn't for all the money these pesky families spend on train tickets, your commute would be even more expensive.

Starlightbright1 · 21/02/2015 09:57

If i got on a train and there was one seat I would stand and get my DS to sit down.

Your friends was not unreasonable.

She reserved seats and gave one up.

As for the nonsense you shouldn't travel in rush hour.. What nonsense.

QueenBean · 21/02/2015 09:57

GoadyGeisha the reading to paddington train takes 35 mins - save yourself some time!!

JADS · 21/02/2015 10:03

Goady - Reading to London Paddington takes 25 minutes Grin Although GWR sometimes make it feel like 1h 20!

YANBU op. Your friend should not feel guilty.

Zola1980 · 21/02/2015 10:03

So many commuter martyrs around, am impressed it doesn't make you frustrated after a hard week at work paying so much money and no seats. I clearly need a chill pill.

LiegeAndLief · 21/02/2015 10:09

I don't really get the idea of children giving up seats to able bodied adults on moving transport. When I have been in the situation of having only one seat for all of us, I have put the smallest child on it as they are least able to stand. If it was just me and one small child, I would put them on my lap, but I wouldn't get up for someone unless it was clear thet were less able to stand than the child.