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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my DD buy this bikini?

131 replies

clarad · 20/02/2015 23:43

Today was DD1's 11th birthday and she received some money from her great aunt who only had sons and nephews and DDs are her only great nieces so she spoils them a little bit.

In her school there is a trend with a very expensive brand of bikini's called Triangl bikinis. DD has decided she wants to buy one. I told her maybe but I didn't want to upset her on her birthday so I will discuss it with her later after having a nice chat with you ladies. She would like this bikini here in the smallest size available.

I don't want her to get it for a few reasons. Firstly, she's small for her age and I'm still not sure the smallest size would fir her at a size 4 adults? Also, she is too young to be buying designer clothes that will probably get ruined. Finally, it is just too expensive IMO at $89 (not sure how much in £££s).

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and that her money can be spent on whatever she wants. What do you guys think??

OP posts:
Notso · 21/02/2015 09:37

X-post. I don't see the problem if she's just wearing it in your own pool.

SuperFlyHigh · 21/02/2015 09:39

I can't link right now but there are some nicer colorblock bandeau bikinis on that site which look better.

I would encourage her to try on some and if she really wants one (and you're by the sea) get it but with a back up more modest one too like the Roxy.

The first one is silly because unless she's very well developed up top she won't fit it.

I'd also have a word with parents of other girls casual like re these bikinis, I can see why girls like them but I can see the negatives (not practical, attract wrong kind of men). Also look at cover ups for her so when/if she does wear it she'll have something to put on over it if need be.

BriocheBriocheBrioche · 21/02/2015 09:45

If she doesn't have much upto the triangl will look ridiculous as its made out of scuba suit type material which is really rigid.

I really liked the halter neck tankini that was linked above.

BriocheBriocheBrioche · 21/02/2015 09:48

Up top*

I bought one this summer but had to send it back and my droopy little boobs just sunk to the bottomn of the cup and the top half of the cup was just sticking out off of my chest!

Notso · 21/02/2015 09:50

Surely any man attracted to an 11 year old is the wrong kind of man SuperFlyHigh bikini or not.

Original poster
clarad · 21/02/2015 09:51

I had a chat with her a few minutes ago. There were tears and the usual "why are you trying to ruin my life" which made DH laugh so I had to shut him up...

I showed here this top and this bottoms from Johnnie B ones which seem more appropriate and if she buys them then she'll have money left over.

Funnily enough, it s much more her style than the Triangl bikini she said she would do anything for. She's quite content now!!

OP posts:
pictish · 21/02/2015 09:57

Much better. Cool and on trend.

Notso · 21/02/2015 09:58

Glad you found a compromise clarad Smile

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 21/02/2015 10:00

Too revealing - very highly cut out bottoms, also moulded bra. What is she going to put in there, socks?Hmm

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 21/02/2015 10:03

Lovely final choice, OP. I cam't wait for the pre- and teenage yearsHmm my DD is only 4!

Jackieharris · 21/02/2015 10:03

No frigging way!

The pants are tiny!

What's wrong with a one piece?

pictish · 21/02/2015 10:07

And OP I'm another one who does not believe for one second that all her friends have one of those Triangl bikinis -maybe their older sisters do, but I can't imagine there's many parents would ok their 11 yr old daughters wearing what is effectively a basque, with nothing to fill it.
She will be far from the only one not wearing one. Trust me.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 21/02/2015 10:10

I disagree with those saying it's 'sexy' it's hideous tbh.
But spending nearly sixty pound on a bikini just wouldn't happen

ohtheholidays · 21/02/2015 10:27

There's no way we'd let our 11 year old DD get one.

I'm surprised that you said your DH was okay about it.In our family it's always been the men(for many many generations)that have worried about the girls in the family growing up to fast.

There's no way my Dad or my 2 big brothers would have let me wear that at 11.

I wouldn't want my daughter to wear that till she was 16,then I still wouldn't be keen,like someone else mentioned it smacks of page 3 to me.Sorry.

Chippednailvarnish · 21/02/2015 10:41

If it fitted properly, in a hot country I don't think people would bat an eyelid. But given how quickly swimwear fabric is ruined by chlorine, I'm glad you have found a cheaper alternative.

As for the earlier Gary Glitter comment, I doubt if any of his poor victims were enticing him by wearing bikinis. Hmm

WrappedInABlankie · 21/02/2015 10:53

If she was swimming I your own pool I don't see the issue tbh!

I spend £60 on bikins and I swim, jump in the pool, theme parks etc and I have never modified my behaviour for it! I don't really have a choice in spending more because you can't buy 38 G's in any shop! I usually buy from bravissimo or debenhams that shaped like that and have never had an issue.

However I've wore bikinis/crop top and shorts as a child from about 5 most of them consisted of Winnie the Pooh characters though. I don't think an item of clothing is sexy you view t as sexy or not

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2015 11:05

The one you linked too op I'd perfect for her.

The original wheels it looms nice and nit thin or flimsy etc will not fit the body of an 11 yr old and depending on how her body dies developed over time it has the potential to not look flattering at all. gap top and digging in at the bottom. could spark some serious self conscious issues. The pants are tiny. designed clearly for that "perfect" body. not a child's body that will be changing.

but then I much prefer shorts style bottoms. I think they look fab

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/02/2015 11:06

Sorry for typos Blush while
not
does

Glittermud · 21/02/2015 11:21

The Johnnie B ones are lovely and much more appropriate.

AuntieStella · 21/02/2015 11:23

As they're neoprene, how well do they need to fit?

(the sizing page is really confusing, which would put me off the brand - why can't they just give the measurement?)

Some of the multicoloured options look more wearable (blocks of colour, less focus on bust contours, plain bottoms). But the combination of type of fabric and likely growth rate of an 11 year old would put me off even the ones that don't ape corsetry.

ChipDip · 21/02/2015 11:27

I really like the one you chose op. So much more appropriate for an 11yo. The top is great, it doesn't need to look like it's filled out which would suit your dd more.

Original poster
clarad · 21/02/2015 11:47

Yes I seem to think so too. Turns out, two girls in her year have them. And they're twins....Hmm. DD's party is on Monday so I will see then how they look on an 11 year old!!!

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 21/02/2015 11:48

Why are the twins coming in their bikinis?

SaucyJack · 21/02/2015 11:52

The Boden one is much more suitable. And, quite frankly, a much nicer pattern.

She's got the rest of her life to walk around in glorified lingerie if she so chooses to do so when she's older.

lemisscared · 21/02/2015 11:57

I dont think it is particularly sexual looking, i quite like it, but it is no way going to suit the body shape of an 11yo. It just wont look right.