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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let my DD buy this bikini?

131 replies

clarad · 20/02/2015 23:43

Today was DD1's 11th birthday and she received some money from her great aunt who only had sons and nephews and DDs are her only great nieces so she spoils them a little bit.

In her school there is a trend with a very expensive brand of bikini's called Triangl bikinis. DD has decided she wants to buy one. I told her maybe but I didn't want to upset her on her birthday so I will discuss it with her later after having a nice chat with you ladies. She would like this bikini here in the smallest size available.

I don't want her to get it for a few reasons. Firstly, she's small for her age and I'm still not sure the smallest size would fir her at a size 4 adults? Also, she is too young to be buying designer clothes that will probably get ruined. Finally, it is just too expensive IMO at $89 (not sure how much in £££s).

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and that her money can be spent on whatever she wants. What do you guys think??

OP posts:
pictish · 21/02/2015 00:06

Well it would be a no from me. That is an adult's bikini, and she is a not an adult. It would look so inappropriate on her child's body. Just no.

AmantesSuntAmentes · 21/02/2015 00:08

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and that her money can be spent on whatever she wants.

Your dh's logic is flawed. She's a child, her money or not, she's entitled to parental guidance.

My eldest dd asked to wear cropped tops a few years ago. I discouraged her and she didn't revisit the idea. She's never shown any regret over her decision and only now, a few years down the line, has she made a natural (and more timely) progression to tops more shapely than t-shirts Smile

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 00:09

Really ? But it's not got the padded cups ? Or the line ? It's just fabric ? I though the first one was awful. I wouldn't wear it.

Well that's fair enough different opinions I guess.

mrsfuzzy · 21/02/2015 00:09

super how old is your eldest with the piercings, i suspect she's older than 11,when kids get to 16 and over tatts and the like are things that they do whether you agree or not . but totally agree with you on picking the battles.

Thesuperswimmingdolphin · 21/02/2015 00:10

Not really sure why the bosoms are being hoiked and 'disgusting' chucked around.
A bikini can be a 'sexualised' garment on a grown woman where the triangles don't cover the boob and it's all about the cleavage. On a pre-teen something like the coral one will be flat against the skin. It's not going to reveal anything or give a sexualised vibe. It's just shapes of fabric.
Let her buy it and when she realises she's worn it about three times and got freezing at the beach she'll buy a nice overpriced jack wills hoody next time.

AGirlCalledBoB · 21/02/2015 00:10

No I would not let her but it either. It's does look too old for a 11 year old and I can just imagine my oh freaking out if a daughter of ours wore that Grin

That and the price is high considering she may only wear it a few times as she is still growing. I would try and steer her towards something else.

But at 11 I was still in a little mermaid swimsuit Blush

GoadyGeisha · 21/02/2015 00:11

Oh, and it's around £58.00

I'd never pay that for a dress let alone a bikini but then I'm a tightwad who buys secondhand clothes anyway

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 00:11

That's kind of my thinking the

Less cleavagey.

Thesuperswimmingdolphin · 21/02/2015 00:11

Yes my oldest is older than 11. Otherwise the piercing place would be in some serious trouble Grin It's not at all the same issue - but the pick your battles is which is why I mentioned it.

Fcukfifa · 21/02/2015 00:12

I'd let her buy it, especially if you don't think it will fit her properly.

Then it will teach her a lesson in spending wisely.

I like it, if I saw an 11 yr old in it I would think she looks ridiculous.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 21/02/2015 00:12

I would allow my dd to wear what she wants. I would try direct her to a better choice.

Why is it inappropriate.

Siennasun · 21/02/2015 00:13

I love that bikini!!
I'm not really seeing why it's so inappropriate for an 11 year old but I seem to be in the minority. I think how it fits/looks on her would determine if I would let her have it or not.

SaucyJack · 21/02/2015 00:15

I do pick my battles. And for me personally- not sending my primary school DDs out in public looking like Gary Glitter's wet dream is a battle worth fighting.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 21/02/2015 00:16

Interesting range if opinions in the bikinis.

SistersOfPercy · 21/02/2015 00:17

I can't get excited over it either I'm afraid. I was expecting to see some tiny bit of dental floss when I clicked on the link and was surprised to see it was in bikini terms quite sensible.
It's not a battle if bother with. If she wants to waste her money on something she'll probably wear twice that's her call and as had been said might teach her to spend wisely.

pictish · 21/02/2015 00:17

It's cleavagey, with the boobs part being made a strong point of with the basque like design, and deliberate black on pink colour to enhance them ...that's why it's inappropriate for an 11 yr old.

Thesuperswimmingdolphin · 21/02/2015 00:18

Saucy - my daughters are not going to live their lives restricted because of the criminal designs of a few individuals. Will you be telling your daughters not wear short skirts in a few years in case they lead men on? Hmm If they want to wear a stupidly expensive swimsuit they can damn well wear it.

pictish · 21/02/2015 00:19

And honestly I am not a prude. I am also pretty sympathetic to the whole must-have-the-cool-thing too!
But no. That pink and black bikini is for someone older than 11 for sure.

TheAwfulDaughter · 21/02/2015 00:21

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mommy2ash · 21/02/2015 00:22

it's shaped like a bra if she hasn't anything to fill it it will look ridiculous. I really doubt all her friends are wearing these. I wouldn't let a preteen out in what resembles an adults underwear.

pictish · 21/02/2015 00:22

I think this one would be a more tasteful choice for an 11 yr old.

Littleturkish · 21/02/2015 00:22

If she's 11 and flat chested it's going to look ridiculous anyway. That bikini is cut for a woman- with hips and breasts. Unless she is unusually well developed, it isn't going to look like how she envisages on herself anyway.

Bollocks do all her friends have them.

At 11 she can find a much more suitable style in Miss Selfridge/wherever

pictish · 21/02/2015 00:24

But that's a massive compromise because I think the briefs are too...err...brief, on any of them. For a child.

SistersOfPercy · 21/02/2015 00:24

Just seen your comment saucy.
Really? Hmm

TheCowThatLaughs · 21/02/2015 00:24

I think I had a maroon one piece suit with swimming badges sewn on by my mum all over it at that age. I would have been mortified to wear such a revealing, adult bikini, but then I still would tbh. It's a lot of money, surely she could get a few items of cheaper clothing for the same price?

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