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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised at how little STBX will have to pay

999 replies

Stardustnight · 20/02/2015 22:11

STBX is on a very good salary indeed and his living costs are low.

Despite this, according to the CSA calculator he will only have to pay £800 a month for 3 children, which compared to the amount of money he actually has, isn't a lot - £200 a week.

Am I being unreasonable to be feeling mildly disgruntled and short changed? Or am I grabby and entitled ?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 22/02/2015 18:33

i'll help you fill it up and hopefully the antagonistic attention seekers will find another thread to create drama on xxxxxx

minionmadess · 22/02/2015 18:33

blueberry you honestly sound like your projecting your own unhappiness that your DH is still paying for his ex onto star

So the OP should be able to live off her ex's wage until her children are 18?
I agree possibly with until the children are in full time education, but 18? You can't be serious?

FFS the money is for supporting the dc not the OP...

When dc are created they become the responsibility of both parents, not just the one who has them 24/7.

The fact remain that even if the OP was able to work... she sure as hell wouldn't do that and have £3000 left after shelling out childcare costs.

ghostyslovesheep · 22/02/2015 18:35

kitten time

To be surprised at how little STBX will have to pay
blueberrymuffffin · 22/02/2015 18:35

stardust - I meant, what would you do for money? You would find a way to manage because you would have to. But because your ex is wealthy you seem to think that he should supply you with ALL the money you and your DCs need? You shouldn't have to touch your savings?

Yes your ex is a cock, yes it's not fair. Your children haven't asked for this situation and they shouldn't have to suffer.

I suppose I'm being quite hard and matter of fact about it because after years of being in a similar situation I've just become hardened to it and I have the attitude of ''fuck him, I don't need him''.

You're feeling vulnerable and he's probably made you feel weak if he's been abusive...but please have more confidence in yourself and your ability to fend for yourself.

Stardustnight · 22/02/2015 18:36

Star Grin

There are some funny comments on this thread.

'Shit throwing chimps ... expensive penises ... Cuntfart' Grin

OP posts:
Charley50 · 22/02/2015 18:36

Aaahhhh!

tiggytape · 22/02/2015 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charley50 · 22/02/2015 18:37

Aaahhhh was for the kitten not the cuntfart!

ghostyslovesheep · 22/02/2015 18:37

more ...

To be surprised at how little STBX will have to pay
ilovesooty · 22/02/2015 18:37

I imagine she has enough confidence not to let the likes of you affect her blueberrymuffffin

Stardustnight · 22/02/2015 18:38

No, I don't blueberry, I've explained clearly above the contribution I think he should make.

I don't have savings per se: they are tied up in property. DH does, of course.

Full time nursery places round here are around £800 a month with a small sibling discount. DH is paying me the going rate plus round the clock care on top!

OP posts:
RufusTheReindeer · 22/02/2015 18:38

star

You've done very well on this thread...I would have stropped off by now Grin

I said it up thread but I'll say it again

I honestly don't understand some of the attitudes on this thread

They are his children he needs to pay for them

blueberrymuffffin · 22/02/2015 18:39

staronthetree but the OP thinks that her ex should provide 100% of the money.

Stardustnight · 22/02/2015 18:40

It's taking my mind off vomiting! I hate being pregnant!

OP posts:
Stardustnight · 22/02/2015 18:41

Blueberry, look - if he takes one of the properties or even both (unlikely but not unfeasible) but let's say one.

That's £400 a month.

So okay - can't live off that. Child benefit brings it up to £1400 a month. Not enough. Not fair.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/02/2015 18:41

Give up blueberrymuffffin

It might be a good idea to stop taking out your resentment on the OP. Have you not learned anything from the fact that you've been reported and had posts deleted?

SilenceInTheLibrary · 22/02/2015 18:42

blueberrymuffin - what part of "the OP is pregnant and has a 10mth old baby" do you not understand?

kim147 · 22/02/2015 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chessie00 · 22/02/2015 18:43

I think while I have preschool children a contribution closer to 1500 is fair. That's 500 a month per child. It still leaves him with well over two thousand pounds p/m

But it's not down to you to pluck s figure you'd 'like' out of mid air.

StarOnTheTree · 22/02/2015 18:44

Well Blueberry given the OP's situation exactly has she has described it then I have to say that I think her ex should support his children 100% until he either does his share of the care or the OP's DC3 goes to school. Because he is financially able to do that and still live very well himself.

That's not to say that I agree that should always happen but in the OP's case I think her ex's contribution should be much higher.

ilovesooty · 22/02/2015 18:44

It might not be up to her but the solicitor needs a starting figure to work from.

minionmadess · 22/02/2015 18:44

but the OP thinks that her ex should provide 100% of the money

No she doesn't blueberry and you fucking know that...

She has said that he should pay more as he has a bigger income, and for he foreseeable that will remain the same since the OP will have his dc 100% of the time so will not have the same earning power.

tiggytape · 22/02/2015 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stardustnight · 22/02/2015 18:47

I know it isn't 'down to me' but someone - several someone's actually - asked belligerently how much I wanted so I replied, hopefully in a less belligerent fashion.

OP posts:
JugglingLife · 22/02/2015 18:48

Chrissie, she was asked a question and she answered it, so yes, in answer to a question of course she can pluck a figure out of thin air!