To be surprised at how little STBX will have to pay

[Stardustnight]

STBX is on a very good salary indeed and his living costs are low.

Despite this, according to the CSA calculator he will only have to pay £800 a month for 3 children, which compared to the amount of money he actually has, isn't a lot - £200 a week.

Am I being unreasonable to be feeling mildly disgruntled and short changed? Or am I grabby and entitled ?

Demon you know, the only justification for things has been 'well YABU because I am Considerably Poorer than Yow.'

Well okay, and I'm sorry about that, but I don't really feel is is relevant to my situation.

Luckily we have our share of sensible and compassionate posters then kim?

Shame, as until the other page I thought you were one of them.

But people with less money than the OP will be posting all over the site Kim. Not just here, so by your reckoning she can't post anywhere without pissing people off.

Exactly Terry and kim please, enough.

I don't have money. I have property - which my parents owned - and a STBX with a lot, but who also has a catalogue of abuse bigger than Argos'

Kim - you seriously think those facts piss people off? You really think my life is enviable?

Reading the post about your marriage, it sounds just like my parent's marriage. My mum was never able to escape as my dad wouldn't let her work. You are so very brave for getting rid of him. It's unfair that you've been left in this financial situation but I'd have given anything for a happy mum growing up, and that's what you are giving your children now you are free from him.

It certainly isn't a nest of vipers.

Pagwatch, ilovesooty, ssd, chipping, Terry's, a hundred others who I can't remember?

I'm not letting one or two bad apples upset the whole cart - and nor should you :) but I'm not going to sit quietly while they talk a load of nonsense about lucky stardust with the dead parents and poor Mr Stardust!

A nest of vipers who are not always right. OP asked for opinions and she is perfectly within her rights to point out which she doesn't agree with, as many others are.

Unless we rename it Take Your Flaming.

Plus I still think it's totally unfair to point out other people with less money might take this badly, I have less money, I can empathise with people with more money than me.

Thanks Armani

No Kim, I'm not: I'm just FINALLY standing up for myself.

Star- I have never mentioned my financial situation in relation to yours. Or made any derogatory remarks about your situation.

All I have done is questioned why alternative viewpoints were not welcomed when you asked the AIBU question in the first place.

So Why certain posters think it is ok to call me 'nasty' and 'emotionally unimaginative' I do not know.
The only thing I can see I am guilty of is not sharing exactly the same viewpoint as some others on here.

Nothing I have said indicates I do not sympathise with your plight- I do.

Not one person who has said the OP is being unreasonable have given a sensible reason why. It might help if you want the op to look at all angles to give her a valid reason why she is being unreasonable.

He gets to walk off with half of her inheritance?

She (I presume) has not worked and stayed at home while he concentrated on his career which allowed him to earn such a high wage.

He ends up with £3000 a month and her/ the children end up with £1600

In what world is that fair? It's not about op but her children and her children should be supported better by him and the op shouldn't have to rely on government back up when their father is perfectly able to provide more.

The op can't work right now and if she could she would take fuck all home with her after child care.

I am shocked that anyone would think £800 is ok. I got a poxy £150 a month for three children but just because I got less doesn't mean the op needs to be grateful for getting £800 a month while her ex walks off with some of her inheritance and £3000 a month to play with. Sure, he works for it but he should be paying as much as he can afford to support his kids.

So come on people who think she is unreasonable... tell us why she is? tell us how this is fair? so far the only reasons given I have seen is that she should work to support them, or she should think herself lucky that she gets £800 because others get less. Or perhaps even worse, people think the government should pick up the tab when their father is wealthy enough to give more.

And I am sick of the bollocks that because it is AIBU people should accept being treated like shit.

What a horrible time the OP has had on this thread.

I don't think YABU OP. £800 is not a lot of money when you're used to considerably more in the family budget. Every pregnant woman feels vulnerable. Pregnant and navigating a relationship breakdown makes you about as vulnerable as is possible and I'm really ashamed of some of the bitches posting on this thread. Really awful behaviour.

Some of you are actual total dickheads, and your unkind, unsympathetic, bitter, twisted mean responses are making me want to knock myself unconscious on the desk in front of me.

OP, you're not U at all for being shocked at the difference. You sound really fab, and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes very well. One day you'll be properly self-sufficient and happy, and that sad tosser you used to be married to will still be a sad tosser. I send you my absolute best.

Oh, and don't be afraid to get in contact with some of your old friends. I'm sure they will be delighted you're finally safe and free.

Why do people do it? why do people love to be so fucking mean and insensitive to people who are struggling?

The op is going through a divorce after years of being abused. Why the fuck do people get off on kicking someone?

She's a real person behind your screen and it has taken her years to leave her husband and she worried about money as anyone probably would be, and yet some can't show an ounce of compassion.

OP, I think you have dealt with this thread amazingly well. You seem like an amazing person and should be really proud of yourself

. OP, I've nothing to add that hadn't been said but well done for standing up to the fuckwits on this thread. I hope life starts being kinder to you

Agree, the OP has gotten an incredibly unfair pasting from some...

What Cunt and U2 said

OP not picking at you just wondering. Are you unhappy with the money you are getting off your ex as its not enough to raise your children or as a principle that he gets to keep so much of his?

If the former im surprised really and how much would be enough? As after paying our mortage and bills we are prob left with less than £800 for the children and they do quite well out of it, are they at private school?
If the latter then yes it is unfair and indicative of the society men live in where not much changes when men have children. But try and see it as worth your freedom and having made a positive change for the kids.

You would get most of the childcare covered by tax credits and I suggested finding employment very part time, although obv I get that being pregnant does put you at a disadvantage!

Anyway fwiw I don't think yabu - your ex should be paying more.