I don't like your attitude

[Paddleslowly]

Ds and I are on holiday the trip of a lifetime staying with family as a very generous present. Ds doesn't want to go home but I politely said to him that we have to go home as things are not that simple. He replies back " well they never are with you" I was fuming and got up to go into the kitchen and he said " night" in such a nasty tone whilst he sat there still on the sofa. Is it me or is this him pushing his luck he has upset me with his shit attitude!

How old is he? (I am guessing a teenager ............. I have a teenage DS and he can be very, very rude and hurtful. ).

No suggestions, but you are not alone.

Sounds like my 15 year old
Ignore it. Pick your battles and count to ten and wait until the hollows subside and your lovely DS comes back

He is 12 and is turning into a little horror. Last week a friend who is a girl knocked at the door to go to school with him. I happened to be standing by the front door and he told me to go back upstairs I look a state! I know this age can be challenging but tonight felt so hurtful and spiteful

It's him. He was rude. I'd be telling him that when he is lucky enough to enjoy the trip of a lifetime, he does not repay that by being a brat.

Assuming he's a stroppy kid and not a stroppy teen - Instead of saying things are not that simple, have you explained why people cannot stay on holiday forever - no job, no money, no home, etc. That a holiday is a holiday and holidays end.

xpost - ok, he needs reining in. That's unacceptable. What consequences are there for talking to people like that? Because there need to be good ones. He cannot start to think that's an acceptable way to talk to anyone.

Teenagers are horrible at times! DS, 17 has just called his dad an idiot.
The reason for this is they were going to a sporting event. DS was told they would leave the house at 6.30 and at 7.40 he still wasn't ready, so DH got a mouthful of abuse for telling him to hurry up.
This morning the same DS was giving me a lovely hug
They're a minefield!!

You need to let him know who is in charge. He is testing your authority. Tell him it's ok to have an opinion and it's ok to express it but it is not ok to be rude or disrespectful to you or others.

He should have consequences.

I did explain to him earlier today that we have to go home because of school, home and that we have no means to live out here. He said God your so boring and lame! I'm on holiday and don't want to lose it with him. But he is really boiling my piss at the moment. It made me sad that he just can't appreciate the holiday. And talking to me like I'm a piece of shit and eyeballing me is not on

Am I missing something? The incident at the door with the girl was him being a disrespectful wee scrote. However, the exchange you describe in your OP doesn't sound too bad. He was being a bit sour I suppose, but nothing to write home about.
You'd better get used to him expressing his opinion on stuff, including you, pretty fast. This is what happens....they develop their own opinions and then see fit to voice them.
It can be a minefield, but my advice is to pick your battles.

Seriously! Wtf? Who taught him to talk to you like that?

No more posh holidays, and no more pandering to him until he starts treating you like a human being!

Holiday or no holiday, that wouldn't go unchallenged with me.

How long have you got left to endure?

Opinions are one, attitude and insults quite another.

Blimey OP - that sounds pretty mild. Hardly worth getting worked up about?

Yep, what Pictish said

It is him. At 12 he knows exactly what he is doing and that it is wrong, but is trying to push your buttons.
Remain as calm but assertive as you can.

Tell him that he knew it was a holiday so he knew it would end sooner rather than later, and you are very unimpressed with his attitude ruining the end of a lovely and generous treat.

Have consequences. Dock his pocket money or holiday allowance. Tell him you expect much better from him. Ask him who on earth he thinks he is speaking to you like that.

Hold back on any other treats you had been planning with him for the remainder of the trip, and make sure he knows why.

Yeah the op comment doesn't sound that bad but the you look a state would have pissed me off no end. That's rude.

I have teens now and older and of course you piss each other off but there's a line.

Lippy boys need a verbal slap!

You are the driver in the front seat and he is the passenger. He needs to know that. Sharpish.

I agree he can express his opinion but there are nicer ways for him to come across. I take the time to listen to what he says but if he doesn't like it he has this irritatating habit of " no I'm not listening anymore" and then puts his palm up in my face and walks away.
Yet again yesterday morning he said "have you seen yourself in the mornings" yes I'm no bloody oil painting. This morning he was going to take a morning picture of me to show me what I look like. He can be a polite boy at times but I find his remarks quite cutting

Let it go. You need to pick your battles and this really isn't one worth bothering with.

His criticisms of your appearance are very out of order and rather unkind - I do agree that this needs reigning in

OP If you think this is bad wait until 12 is 14 or 15 . . . this is nothing. It will get much worse before it gets better - which it will.

Oh, and re the incident at the door with the girl, I must admit that I have never had the slightest hesitation in telling my children that I have no intention whatsoever of being bossed around by the. I certainly would not go out of sight if I didn't want to. I have been known to tell them off right in front of their friends if I have to. They know I will do it and have no qualms about whether it embarrasses them or not.

Say your piece.

He is really overstepping the line.
I totally disagree with those who are saying let it go, pick your battles. This is really unacceptable.
he is being incredibly rude and disrespectful to you. He is also being nasty and almost bullying in his behaviour.
I think you need to call him out on this and deal with it. He certainly needs a sanction.
Poor you

Do I keep letting it go so that he thinks this is an acceptable way to speak to me? I'm his mum not his mate. He is not two anymore where sitting in time out is appropriate. He knows what he is doing. I had a thread on here re his breakfast fit and that I had brought the wrong brand of crumpet for him. He isn't even moody yet and if I don't nip him in the bud now then it looks like I'm on that one way ticket to Mars

He is being very bold, so if I were you I would make an action plan right away so he doesn't start seeing as just the way things are. Try to focus on specific complaints you have - bad language, personal comments, etc. because this will be easier to tackle.

One easy way is to take away something he wants/needs, i.e. - computer time, money, phone etc. for 1 day chunks of time. We used to say each transgression (i.e. a personal comment) triggered 24 hours without computer access. We then used this computer-free time to do more positive things. The clearer your sanction, the easier. I didn't have to argue, just say, that's it, 24 hours. I also took the cable so I didn't have to police it. He was 12 when this started.

From now on, everything is transactional, everything you give him is currency, spend it wisely. Don't buy him something nice thinking he'll think, aw, mum's all right. When these is a period of good behaviour, get him a treat, reward him. This is the only way or the quagmire of incentives/rewards/punishments will drag you down.

Do lots of nice things for yourself too.

I cant believe people are down playing his behaviour.

If he was my son, the second time he spoke to me like that i would of knocked him into the middle of next week!

Disrespectful little swine, needs knocking down a peg or two straighaway.

Its not normal teenage behaviour.

I never spoke to my parents like that, neither did my sister, we wouldnt dare!