Work being difficult about covering child illness

[Dontnic]

Help. Tell me I am not unreasonable. I am part time, earn a lot less than my DH and have a far junior job. We have 2 children at nursery at the moment and between them I have needed to take off 12 days since July when I went back to work (I work 3 days a week) to cover illness.

They both had chicken pox, which lasted over 5 of my working days. Also, they keep getting S&D that does the rounds in the nursery. This means if they get it on my 1st day of the week, they can't go back in at all that week due to the 48 hour rule.

DH has had some days off to cover illness, but it just doesn't make sense for him to take equal time off when he has targets to hit, meetings to attend for clients/prospects etc. If his job is affected we are financially buggered. So he does take time off but I do the lions share.

Work have now had enough and said that I can no longer take my holiday at last minute notice to cover child sickness and I have to take unpaid time off for dependants.

However, the BIG sticking point is that they deem a 'reasonable' amount of time for this as up to 24 hours. So I can leave at 2pm but need to be back in the office for 9 the next day. That is the exact example they gave.

I've called my union and they said that this was correct! Apparently the law says 'reasonable' time off but various other places deem reasonable to be up to 24 hours as it is only to arrange alternative care - not to give that care yourself.

I have no family in the area and friends/neighbours are not going to want a sick child... that is if they are free as most of them work too.

What on earth do working parents do during sickness? Apparently even child minders don't take sick children so it isn't as though I can change to a child minder.

Yes,it is correct.
I honestly don't think I could have kept my job if it wasn't for family -because nurseries and cm's (understandably);won't take sick children,and if you have more than one small child it sometimes seems they're hardly ever both/all well.
I think your dh needs to take his share.
I think you need to see if you can find an emergency cm who will take your dc's with non infectious mild illnesses.
And really try to keep them well -easier said than done.
The chickenpox stage is very hard because its so drawn out.
Good luck op.

contact local nanny agencies, see if they do offer emergancy care - most do. Have a look at the costs of it, would say, 6 days (so 2 if your working weeks) of emergancy care cost more than you bring in over a 6 month period?

Put feelers out for local babysitters, again, see if any will look after a sick child.

Then have a serious talk with your DH, your DCs have 2 working parents, he can't assume the childcare is just your job to sort, you both have a childcare emergancy if your DCs are too sick for nursery. Why wouldn't his parents help?

12 days since July when you only work three days a week is quite a lot, so I can understand your employers getting annoyed. They have work that needs to be done and they need reliable employees for that, and they are at least letting you have some time unpaid if you need it.

It's difficult though, sick children obviously need to be at home being looked after. When my DH was alive we found ourselves in a similar situation, where he'd be taking time off work and earning nothing as he was contract, so that I could go into work as a low paid TA, who had to cover a class, even though my earnings over hour were about a quarter of DHs.

Your job and your DHs job might mean different things for your family, but you both have as much responsibility as each other to be reliable employees. Your DH will just have to do his share of sickness cover.

I really truly didn't see myself as taking the piss. I genuinely thought that it was unreasonable to expect an ill baby to be passed onto a total stranger. I thought that was okay. I just hadn't expected to have such a sicky child.

Your DH needs to take some responsibility for his children. It's not your employers fault that he earns more than you. We haven't had anything like those levels of sickness with two DCs but have been know to split the days between us. One works a long morning and the other a long afternoon to ensure we are both at work for a good part of the day.

If you work part time, can't you come to an agreement with your employer that allows you to take time off to look after your sick children, provided you make the hours up on another day?

Sitters is about £7 an hour out of London, a monthly fee and a £6 arrangement fee for bookings with 12 hours or less notice. Otherwise it's £4.

That's a lot of D&V from the nursery actually....what's going on there??

My company are quite good I'm part time and they offer dependence days etc. I've only had to take 2 in 4 years so I've never had to look into it that closely....

It sounds really excessive the amount you have had to take for only part time work....I guess that's why they are clamping down.

Is there any flexibility for you to make up time etc?

Dontnic - other working parents either:

• use family
• pay for emergency nannies (or have a nanny anyway)
• work flexible hours
• share cover equally with partners
• are fortunate enough to have children who don't get sick often

or (as is sadly too often the case) one parent reluctantly gives up work.

Very few employers will accept this amount of unplanned leave. Someone else has to cover your absences unexpectedly each time.

Incidentally, before anyone berates nurseries I think it really does depend on the child. I see it at dd's nursery, some children do become ill often, others just don't. Vaccinating against chicken pox is one idea though. Better than unpaid leave or losing a job.

I have a colleague with tricky childcare like yours. She's had loads of time off, but I know that what grates our manager is her total inflexibility. IME employers tend to be a lot more accommodating if you volunteer time back, offer to cover additional shifts etc. Can you buddy up at work with another PT parent so you could cover each other?

I don't care if your dh is the Prime Minister he needs to take a larger share of time off. Your little ones have been very poorly but hopefully it's the starting nursery germ splurge.
It is very hard without a support network - most people imo call in GPs etc to help with emergencies.

FIL - violent alcoholic
MIL - in and out of mental institutions, so I wouldn't trust her with my children (sorry if that offends, I know it isn't PC, but I just can't take the risk)

DH and I work for the same company. It is a huge company (over 10k employees world wide) and he works in a different area to me.

On the plus side - if they've had chicken pox they (shouldn't) have it again, and you may find their immune systems will cope better now they've had so many bugs.

But apart from that - your employer is being perfectly reasonable, I can understand why they've had enough. Next time there's an illness your DH will have to cover it, you take unpaid leave, you find someone else who can do it, or one of you has to give up work. Them's the choices.

I really truly didn't see myself as taking the piss. I genuinely thought that it was unreasonable to expect an ill baby to be passed onto a total stranger. I thought that was okay. I just hadn't expected to have such a sicky child.

Could you really not see that none of that is your employer's problem? An employment contract in its simplest form is this: employee works X hours for Y pay.

Therefore if you don't work the X hours you're not fulfilling your side of the deal.

I have this issue both parents dead, pil 400 miles away, all my friends work full time, and have young children, DH works away in the week.

When they where your children's age I worked MWF this meant basically if I was called out from work

I think that I will be giving up work. For what I earn there is little point with all the stress it is causing us as a family. I don't want to pass my baby or toddler on to a stranger when he/she is ill and needs familiarity.

Also, I don't want a total stranger coming to my house to care for my children. They may be checked but it could be that they are just not yet caught. Sorry, sounds paranoid, but that is the main reason I chose a nursery over a child minder - because there were more pairs of eyes watching.

You work 3 days a week and have needed 12 days off in 7 months? that's 4 weeks oFf on your working pattern. add on annual leave and bank holidays it's hardly worth you being employed! what an absolute piss taker you are Op. im sorry your children have been ill and yes it is hard to plan around but this is not your employers problem. you may consider your dh job more important but i cab assure you your employer does not

I work in HR and can assure you Youd have a hard time claiming your employer has not been reasonable. You and your Dh need to have a chat about how to make this work, maybe it's time he steps up and takr responsibility for

One thing I can say,is that generally,once they get into junior school age,they tend not to get everything going,and are well more.
I think I take about 1 day etofd and my dh the same per year.But my DM covers for sickness unless she's away or its d&v because her health isn't great and its unfair to expose her to that.
Its a bum deal for you op,considering all the bullshit we hear about getting mums back into the workplace.
Of course,I totally understand the needs of the workplace,but many need solutions.

Could you consider asking for flexible working hours,that might mean you go to work mainly when your dh is home,or could that not be done?

Ah, but don't forget that employers also don't always fulfil their side of the deal. How many of us on here work more than our contracted hours and don't see a penny in overtime, for example?

I think it's important to be seen to be flexible as PPs have said. Can you offer to make up the hours, by working at home in the evening or at weekends? It definitely makes employers and managers more receptive to staff taking time off to look after children.

Can you not just take the unpaid leave?

YANBU

Th workplace doesn't account for human things like caring for family,ill children etc. More flexibility is needed.

I work sometimes... I didn't want to not work, cannot work full time due to DH job being here there and everywhere... so I work sometimes...

usually for a year or so, then something happens - I don't get leave when I want it (like when my DH can get leave), I get called out for taking emergency time off for DD breaking a leg at school and needing to be taken to the hospital (2 days, I took - 2 DAYS - one in casualty and one to arrange logistics).

there are sooooo many part time retail jobs, staff turnover is usually high - not always caused by employer problems, sometimes real life gets in the way, I take a month or 2 out, then go somewhere else...

NotGoing its a little harsh to call thd op a piss taker.
She's a woman trying to work with her back against the wall.

ok then you need to go down the paid route or talk to your DH about why he doesn't see he needs to pull his weight, or if his job with a lot of travel is compatable with his responsibilities towards his DCs and covering sickness. If he really can't, if you really can't afford to use emergancy childcare, then one of you has to change jobs, either he looks for a more flexible one, you give up to become a SAHM.

Your current arrangement doesn't work. Your employers aren't be unreasonable.