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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Unashamedly a TAAT!

445 replies

JudgeRinderSays · 18/02/2015 09:03

AIBU to think MN should ban grammar and spelling pedantry on all forums except the one explicitly for this purpose.
It is so F*cking tedious!

OP posts:
scousadelic · 18/02/2015 21:47

My grammar is not perfect but I do find the ongoing saga of the "should ofs" really irksome, however I would never mention it (well, hardly ever Grin).
a) because it is difficult to do kindly on threads and I would not pm as I could imagine if a few people pm'd it might feel a bit intimidating
b) because of the vitriol of those who feel it ok to insult anyone daring to put their head above the parapet. I think an awareness that just because grammar does not matter to you does not mean it does not matter to anyone and give you a right to insult others who disagree with you

A little bit of kindness on both sides would go a long way. I have learned a lot through MN, some useful and some not, and do think it would be nice if better English could be one of things we could help each other with. Might even stop Matthew Wright referring to us as illiterate harridans! Hmm

hazeyjane · 18/02/2015 21:55

A) I couldn't give a monkeys what Matthew Wright thinks of Mumsnetters

B) 'Sticking ones head above the parapet' implies fighting for some noble cause. Being able to use an apostrophe in the right place is nice, but it is hardly the Big Bollocks that people seem to think it is.

Firesidetreat · 18/02/2015 21:56

It's got nothing to do with improving someones English. I'm a little bit fed up with that excuse being trotted out.

It's done so the corrector can let everyone know that they would never make that mistake.

MetallicBeige · 18/02/2015 21:57

Ok, so because some posters dislike the berating and crapping all over threads that the "it's have not of" brigade like to partake in, it means that grammar is unimportant to them?!

Bollocks to that, no matter how many excuses are made, it's rude and obnoxious and wanky.
Rude to pick apart somebodies post and correct their grammar before even acknowledging the thing they want to discuss.
Rude to think that they should be grateful for it.

Appalling manners, but as long as they're told 50 million times eh?

TwatFaceBitch · 18/02/2015 21:57

Matthew Wright's a twat. He will always say something derogatory about mn.
So I won't pander to him either

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 21:59

Yy hazeyjane and metallic

LuluJakey1 · 18/02/2015 22:30

The unkindness, dismissiveness and bullying tone on this thread is shocking. It's like anyone who disagrees with you should be referred to as a 'twat' or incorrectly quoted or scorned.

People are entitled to disagree without any of that, particularly in a threa that has been posted in AIBU.

Honestly, some of you sound vile-like you have created a little pack in which you are slapping each other on the back metaphorically and going on and on about anyone who doesn't agree, using offensive language that is actually quite intimidating. Ironic, given the views you supposedly hold.

It is one of the nastiest elements of MN I have seen in a while.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 22:40

I really dont think that argument holds up tbh lulu

MetallicBeige · 18/02/2015 22:46

Agree Amanda, pot meet kettle, and the thread had gone to sleep. Bit of a goady bump there.

DixieNormas · 18/02/2015 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 22:53

Its actually not even slightly nasty.
All that is being said is that it is mean to pull someone up on their grammar in the way that is often done here.
If someone thinks its ok to try to "win" an argument by pointing put that a poster has said "your" instead of the correct "you're" rather than address the issue neing discussed then they are being petty and defending a bullying tactic.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 22:57

"Neing" Grin

MetallicBeige · 18/02/2015 23:02

There their they're Lulu feeling attacked is never nice. imagine how the op's you so love to 'help' correct feel?
Fair play for standing up for your opinion when I notice some of the more vociferous pedants have remained strangely silent cowards. In my personal opinion of this particular matter I think you can't defend the indefensible.

LuluJakey1 · 18/02/2015 23:11

If any of you bothered to read what I have actually said, I have not corrected anything by anyone either today or yesterday. I have been accused of a number of things that are just inaccurate if you read my posts. Much of what I said agrees with the point that there are many times where correcting someone is completely inappropriate. I have noted that my own literacy could stand improvement and I am happy to learn from others. I have recognised we all make errors for different reasons.
Do just go on repeating your inaccurate points about me. The irony of you complaining about people being unfairly picked on and behaving the way some of you have on here seems lost on you. Not agreeing with you about everything does not mean someone should be scorned the way some of you have done today- not everyone by any means. There have been some interesting points but there have also been some rude, nasty remarks. eg people referring to anyone who has politely disagreed as 'oafish', 'thick' , twats' etc. There are people very entertained by themselves on this thread who are likely to be just as unpleasant in RL I would think.
I suppose that's just how it is. MN's pack mentality never fails to surprise me.

Quiero · 18/02/2015 23:13

There is nothing nasty on this thread, you can't call nasty because people don't agree with you. People don't agree with you because you are wrong. You are trying to defend the undefendable. On that thread last night, these are the posts in response to the grammatical error:

He definitely should have have have have have ffs have called the police.

Should have should have should have!!!!

Far and firefly got there before me. HAVE. just for emphasis op.

He should have, he should have, he should have have have.

HAVE.

What is this 'should of' business? What does it mean?

Sorry but it's like nails down a blackboard......HAVE, he should HAVE

Tell me which if any of those posts are not nasty. They weren't cross posts either. And tell me again why we're all wrong to ask people to put a stop to this. Also bearing in mind that that is a really young poster who is going through a really difficult time. I'm sorry Lulu, I just don't get it.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 23:14

Im sorry yourargument still doesnt stand up.
I get that there's no defence for being mean. But I see no meanness in this.
It is rude and ignorant and obstructive to correct someone's grammar to make yourself look superior.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 23:17

X post.

Quiero · 18/02/2015 23:17

Then you posted this:

*There is nothing snotty about correcting grammar - it is no different to correcting something that is factually wrong. There is however, imo, something wrong when people think accuracy in writing does not matter and become abusive towards those who correct it. There is an inverted snobbery about it. Just saying

Anyone can make a mistake- a typo, a slip, a forgotten or confused fact. If we get it wrong, there is nothing offensive in someone pointing that out. Why are people so touchy about it?*

And to be clear, I haven't once said anything abusive to you or anyone else. I don't think the name calling was on either and I said that last night.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 23:18

And i did bother to read what you actually said.

MetallicBeige · 18/02/2015 23:21

I give up, I don't get it.
Poster A) "it's rude and shitty and not constructive to the general discussion".
Poster B) "NO it's HELPFUL and it NEEDS POINTING OUT ELSE THE INTERNET WILL EXPLODE and they should be GRATEFUL, I WOULD BE".
Poster C) " well it happened to me when I was going through a bad time, I was so upset and felt even worse, I just wanted support".
Poster B) "Yeah but on the plus side you learned how to use have/of correctly and remember your paragraphs so you should be HAPPY".

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/02/2015 23:22

Oh it absolutely is snotty to correct grammar in the context described here.
Its the kind of technique that is used by abusive people to "gaslight" or sut down argument from their partners.
It is utterly indefensible.
There is no correlation whatsoever with disputing the point up for discussion.

Quiero · 18/02/2015 23:23

I give up too.

Quiero · 18/02/2015 23:29

Spot on TRAC

I just think an easy rule to follow is if you wouldn't do it/say it in real life then don't do it on here.

And remember this is conversation, not a written essay, the same rules don't apply.

Fuck me, there's enough bullshit on here to be challenging without having to resort to nitpicking over spelling.

scousadelic · 18/02/2015 23:48

I think the posts since mine have just proved the point of the vitriol and lack of kindness that some people feel are acceptable in, not just making their point, but in banging others forcefully over the head with it. I have been on MN for most of its existence and have seen many things over the years but have rarely seen the viciousness there has been lately on this issue

I stand by what I said. There is no excuse for rudeness or belittling others in the name of grammar but, equally, there is no excuse for rudeness and belittling others who you disagree with.

Blu · 19/02/2015 03:36

Imagine you are at the theatre.
There is a huge bang and an acrid stench.
An ashen face woman takes the stage with an usher in a hi viz coat carrying a lantern.
She says
"Ladies and gentlemen there has been a chemical gas explosion in the foyer. We have 11 seconds to escape. Myself and the usher know the only way to safely escape. please follow the usher and I in single file"
Do you
A) follow the fire marshall and usher in single file
B) stand up and helpfully point out the several grammatical mistakes
C) stand up and shout "the usher and ME ME ME ME" and "OH MY EARS! don't split infinitives, FFS!"