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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my colleague was a bit snarky about baby visiting

156 replies

Behindthepaintedgarden · 17/02/2015 14:12

A woman at work had a baby recently and sent a message via one of her friends that she would be calling in with him on Friday at about 11am. One of my colleagues has just sighed and said 'Jeeze, like any of us are interested'!

AIBU to think that was a bit snarky? It doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to wander over and say 'ah he's lovely. Congratulations' Sad

OP posts:
lemonpoppyseed · 17/02/2015 17:34

I occasionally visit work with my baby, but it's because I want to see my old colleagues! Those who want to chat do so, those who don't care, don't. I guess it depends on the size of your workspace, but it should be easy for anyone who doesn't want to see the baby to avoid it. I know what it's like to be in that position, having some fertility issues along the way...

Notmymuse · 17/02/2015 17:34

I'd rather see a puppy than a baby. And not just because I'm infertile. I just prefer puppies. Obviously my own baby would be different but generally even before I knew I was infertile I preferred puppies. Don't know what to do with a baby. Puppies yes. Babies no.

Coumarin · 17/02/2015 17:36

Countess I understand, I really do. Could've written your posts myself. You don't have to keep explaining yourself. The majority of people who've been in your situation and similar feels exactly the same. Flowers

Besides babies are really, really boring if they aren't your own. Sorry but they are. They look the same, don't do anything and are either asleep, pooing or crying at that age.

But I'd be flinging the desk over to get to a puppy. Grin

Coumarin · 17/02/2015 17:36

And yy even before the years if ivf and miscarriages, I still would've preferred seeing a puppy to a baby. Babies are dull.

Notmymuse · 17/02/2015 17:38

Puppies are just so adorable. And kittens. Babies meh not so much. I like them better when their toddlers, way more interesting.

Notmymuse · 17/02/2015 17:38

They're not their!

Coumarin · 17/02/2015 17:42

Oh toddlers are great. Even if they occasionally trigger sad feelings I still love having a chat with a toddler. Toddlers and puppies are fun.

Siennasun · 17/02/2015 17:55

Bringing a new baby into work is practically mandatory where I work, if people are busy they just say congratulations etc then get on with their job or just stay away.
I don't particularly like holding other people's babies and I found it a bit painful when I was having fertility issues but I would never have dreamed of saying anything.
I think the difference between thinking something snarky and saying it out loud is the difference between being normal and being an arsehole.

MojaveWanderer123 · 17/02/2015 17:55

It was a snarky and quite mean comment actually and she spoke for all of you by saying 'us' so I would have turned around and said "speak for yourself moody" Hmm
I love babies. I am always first in the queue for a cuddle. Smile

NellysKnickers · 17/02/2015 18:01

It was a bit mean but then I've always loved it when babies come to visit at work. I've manned a reception desk and switchboard in the past cuddling a colleagues baby, clients coming in loved it too.

LauraDec · 17/02/2015 18:22

You don't need to be interested in babies - how about just being interested in people. Having a baby is a huge life changing event. It's nice for colleagues to re-connect and chat about that whilst cooing at the baby.

grannytomine · 17/02/2015 18:26

So for the people who love puppies if a colleague is going to bring their new puppy in would you think people were being mean if they objected?

I'm not taking sides, like I said where I work babies, grannies and dogs are all welcome.

AbbeyBartlet · 17/02/2015 18:41

granny Not at all, I get that some people aren't that interested. I never know what to say to new mothers without sounding totally false. I just tend to smile and say 'how's it going' to the mother.

Fine to bring them in, just don't push them onto people who aren't interested, and don't get funny with people who don't want to hold the baby.

Like I say, I always make them a gift, which would be around £100 on eBay so I'm not a total cow - but that is as far as it goes.

Bigbadgeorge · 17/02/2015 18:48

Aw I love it when people bring in their babies, and I'm definitely happy to listen about how lovely they are. But maybe because that's the stage of life I'm in too. I get that not everyone is that bothered, but like someone else said it's also about taking an interest in the person and acknowledging a massive event in their lives.

CatsCantTwerk · 17/02/2015 18:52

I think it was on here I read 'children are like farts, you only like your own'. I think that pretty much sums it up for me Grin

TheFriar · 17/02/2015 18:55

Except that said mother us imposing to everyone to take an interest in them, to acknowledge them regardless if whether you wAnt it or not.
And as another poster said, there might be some other women in the office who have had several miscarriages and do NOT want to see a baby and give then a cuddle. Is that not careless too to take the risk of upsetting them??
There might be some women who aren't interested.

Why is it ok to say they you will make everyone taking interest in you because you've had a baby but nit ok to impose that on people in any other occasion?

professornangnang · 17/02/2015 18:58

She sounds like a bitch. Manners cost absolutely nothing.

professornangnang · 17/02/2015 19:01

I agree with Lauradec that it's just being interested in other people and for goodness sake, it's not like new mothers should tiptoe around 'just in case' they are in the vicinity of someone who's had a miscarriage. That's ridiculous.

WD41 · 17/02/2015 19:02

She was just saying aloud what a lot of people think. I'm not interested in random colleagues babies, and I wouldn't think that people would be interested in mine either.

Work really isn't the time or the place.

KidLorneRoll · 17/02/2015 19:09

It sounds like an off the cuff remark, nothing more.

I do kinda hate people who bring children into work. It's annoying and disruptive to those who don't care.

TwoOddSocks · 17/02/2015 19:12

It's not nasty or immature to not care about babies or not want to see this one for whatever reason but it is nasty and immature to express those feelings in that unpleasant way. It's not like they actually have to make a fuss just make a polite comment and get back to work. Does that person really think no one's ever feigned interest in their holiday/hobby/new hair cut. It's just good manners.

TwoOddSocks · 17/02/2015 19:14

Bloody hell reading this comments I'm glad I don't work with some of you people, if you have to sit next to people for most of your waking week it doesn't hurt to take 2 minutes to be interested in their lives. Or at least pretend.

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 17/02/2015 19:15

Babies, pah, no problem. I can take them or leave them.

Don't however, take your toddler in, especially if the little shit's going to grab a handful of grit from the huge plant pot by your desk, and throw it into your brand new laser printer.

Was pulling bits out of it for WEEKS!

zeezeek · 17/02/2015 19:33

Another one for the squishy deliciousness that is a puppy. Or grown dog. Any dog, any time any place.

Babies. Eugh.

catlover97 · 17/02/2015 19:57

Sorry not rtft but in my experience colleague's can be a difficult bunch. I was the first to have a baby and general reaction was "urrhg not interested!" So I never went within 3 miles of my City workplace (fine with me I might add!) However when my manager went on to have pfb (she was the first person in London to give birthGrin) it all changed and we were expected to coo accordingly for hours at a time in office hours. Funnily enough not all of us did....