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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my colleague was a bit snarky about baby visiting

156 replies

Behindthepaintedgarden · 17/02/2015 14:12

A woman at work had a baby recently and sent a message via one of her friends that she would be calling in with him on Friday at about 11am. One of my colleagues has just sighed and said 'Jeeze, like any of us are interested'!

AIBU to think that was a bit snarky? It doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to wander over and say 'ah he's lovely. Congratulations' Sad

OP posts:
sheffieldsteeler · 17/02/2015 15:14

muminhants I know three central London offices where there's a very happy office dog!

Fanfeckintastic · 17/02/2015 15:16

I'm honestly cackling here in work at "babies are a drooling bag of shit"

So weird though, when a mother posts about possibly leaving her drooling bag of shit to do anything she might enjoy, MN offers a chorus of "but your baby is still tiiiny, "poor baby Sad"" but when said baby is foisted on them for 30 seconds it's a steaming bag of shit!

I didn't bring DD to work but love when others do!

DidoTheDodo · 17/02/2015 15:17

I'd really like it if someone brought their kitten to work.

littlesupersparks · 17/02/2015 15:18

Some people aren't interested in newborn babies?! I literally had no clue. I can think of nothing better than a little squidge of a new baby!!!!!! Everyone at my work goes crazy racing for the staff room when there's a baby in. It was a bit snarky to make a comment like that IMO - even if she was thinking it. If I manage to drag the twins in and people aren't bothered i would expect them to just stay away -
No one is forcing anyone to coo over the baby surely?

ilovesooty · 17/02/2015 15:18

I don't think babies need to be taken to the workplace either. If you want to see and hold someone's baby make arrangements to do it in your own time.
I just make myself scarce and find something else to do when we have baby visits.

TheBooMonster · 17/02/2015 15:19

lol, I hate being expected to ooh and ahh over babies, and think people who want to ohh and ahh over mine are just plain weird. She's just vocalising what I'm sure at least some other people were thinking.

ApocalypseThen · 17/02/2015 15:19

I don't understand the objection to colleagues coming in to say hi with their babies. If you don't like babies then don't go over and coo.

I personally don't understand it. Why would anyone want to? If you're friendly enough with people in the office, why not see them at another time? Why imagine that a whole load of randoms want to see your baby? I can't imagine parading mine around the office like a trophy - even if I could imagine wanting to be anywhere near work during maternity leave.

countessmarkyabitch · 17/02/2015 15:20

countess I am sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Avoiding babies full stop is hardly realistic though. What about when your friends/family have babies?

AbbeyBartlet · 17/02/2015 15:21

Dido Someone actually brought their puppy in once! Grin

It usually annoys me too with babies, and the millions of emails of baby pictures

I used to just go outside when they arrived and have a cigarette - that way I wouldn't be welcome around the baby afterwards. In my defence, I only did this as I had had several colleagues trying to push me to hold their baby in the past.

mikado1 · 17/02/2015 15:21

When I was on leave I called during lunch for a chat/social visit rather than to 'show baby off'. I missed my friends and was delighted to see them. In the same vein when colleagues call now I look forward to seeing them more than their baby, though I will ooh and ahh to be polite. It is nu not to care, it is unkind to say it out loud the way she did. Did you respond and tell her you did care??

grannytomine · 17/02/2015 15:22

One dog comes in every day as his owner couldn't find day care for him and he drives her neighbours mad if he's at home all day. He is no trouble, people borrow him for a walk, poor little thing is exhausted some days. Other people bring dogs in as a one off, maybe needing to go to vets and could only get an appointment in work time.

I am in the UK.

AbbeyBartlet · 17/02/2015 15:23

littlesuper I have never held a baby in my life! They don't really interest me - just not my thing!

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 15:29

Anyone else wondering how many people who don't like their work disrupted by babies are actually Mumsnetting whilst they're supposed to be working?

ilovesooty · 17/02/2015 15:31

Abbey - snap.

GraysAnalogy · 17/02/2015 15:31

I can't MN at work and never have either.

Davsmum · 17/02/2015 15:32

No one brings their new baby in work to upset anybody. They bring the baby in because they are thrilled to have the baby and want to show him/her off. They may even think that people they have got to know and think of as friends would be interested.
Why would anyone sneer or be nasty about this? If you don't like babies it doesn't mean you can't be happy for people who do.
Its about being nice to people.

TheReluctantCountess · 17/02/2015 15:34

A colleague brought his puppy into work the other week. It was a wonderful day for all of us. Sooooooo cute!

PlumpingUpPartridge · 17/02/2015 15:38

I'm surprised by how many negative responses there are Confused

The 'bringing baby into work' thing is less about thinking they'll all be enraptured and more about saying 'I have had a major change in my world and would like to include you all in it/have you make a little fuss of me for about an hour'. The social contract dictates that co-workers either coo or make their excuses and pop out, whichever they prefer. As long as all parties involved respect each other's choices, then it all works just fine.

I've always thought that going to visit a baby is more about paying respects to the parents than the baby anyway Grin

AbbeyBartlet · 17/02/2015 15:40

I don't mind if they just bring the baby in, the ones who irritate are the ones who are pushy, trying to get you to hold the baby (seriously, why would someone do that!!). Otherwise I can generally let it pass me by.

And I am such a miserable sod that I have usually hand made a knitted shawl for the baby, at my own considerable expense (several weeks' work and a lot of expensive yarn) Grin

Countess We had two puppy visits while I was in my old job, plus someone brought their cat in (after hours!) so that I could meet him Grin

ApocalypseThen · 17/02/2015 15:43

more about saying 'I have had a major change in my world and would like to include you all in it/have you make a little fuss of me for about an hour'.

But this is the part I'm just not getting. Are your colleagues really the people you go looking to for this? I don't get it.

countessmarkyabitch · 17/02/2015 15:47

No one brings their new baby in work to upset anybody.

Davsmum · 17/02/2015 15:48

ApocalypseThen It probably depends how much you like and feel close to your colleagues. Some workplaces are very friendly.

Original poster
Behindthepaintedgarden · 17/02/2015 15:50

I agree people shouldn't be pushy about it. I do remember, shortly after I'd returned to work following a hysterectomy, that a new mum brought her baby into work. I just stayed quietly in my room as I wasn't in the mood to admire anyone's baby, but she came and sought me out.
I know she meant well, but I did find that a bit insensitive.

Anyhow, mixed views on here, but I still don't think my colleague should have been so snarky but accept that others find it okay.

OP posts:
JudgeRinderSays · 17/02/2015 15:51

It is probably the announcement of the date and time like it is some sort of royal visit, or as if you will be making a note of it in your diary.

PlumpingUpPartridge · 17/02/2015 15:51

apocalysethen I quite like my colleagues, if I had another baby I'd definitely take it in to visit! One or two would properly coo and be interested in how I was doing, the others would nod politely and return to their tasks.

Distance is also a factor - we all live so far away from each other that work is realistically the only place that they'd see my hypothetical third child, as coordinating a visit to my home would be a logistical nightmare.