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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my colleague was a bit snarky about baby visiting

156 replies

Behindthepaintedgarden · 17/02/2015 14:12

A woman at work had a baby recently and sent a message via one of her friends that she would be calling in with him on Friday at about 11am. One of my colleagues has just sighed and said 'Jeeze, like any of us are interested'!

AIBU to think that was a bit snarky? It doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to wander over and say 'ah he's lovely. Congratulations' Sad

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 17/02/2015 14:38

I don't particularly like old people, but if a friend brought her grandfather along to meet us it would be rude to stand ignoring him and saying who gives a fuck?

It isn't any different because it's a baby.

WorraLiberty · 17/02/2015 14:38

When you think about it, it's a bit of an odd concept really.

If someone gets a cat/dog/hamster, no-one expects them to bring it in and show it off.

If someone says, "My elderly mother has moved in with us so we can car for her", no-one says, "Oooh when are you going to bring her in so we can all see her?"

Grin
SoonToBeMrsB · 17/02/2015 14:39

What's odd is I absolutely don't want kids of my own because I like my life and my clothes/expensive bags/holidays/sleep but I do love babies and toddlers. My friend has a 19mo who is utterly charming and I love spending days with them, helping out with nappy changes and building things on the floor with her. I love holding babies and chatting to kids but I don't have that maternal urge to have my own.

GraysAnalogy · 17/02/2015 14:40

Saucy you wouldn't bring your grandfather in work for a visit would you?

ChipDip · 17/02/2015 14:41

I think if she feels that way then fine, but it's not on to speak for everyone.

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 14:44

Grays, do you believe in working non-stop then? Don't you ever have a chat with colleagues about a film you've seen or a restaurant you've been to?

Do you believe we should keep our home lives completely separate from our working lives?

InQuiteAPickle · 17/02/2015 14:44

Maybe she was having an off day.

She's wrong though - some people are interested. I used to love it when people used to bring their babies into the office when I was younger. Admittedly, I'm not quite so interested in other people's children now that I'm older and have my own.

ApocalypseThen · 17/02/2015 14:44

I think she was probably just using fairly standard shorthand rather than trying to dictate what everyone thinks.

MaudeLebowski · 17/02/2015 14:45

She is right though. Interested parties would go out of their way to see the baby outside of the office. Everybody in the office just wants to get on.

GraysAnalogy · 17/02/2015 14:46

imperial Of course I did, but we talk and work. Bringing a baby in just disrupted things and everything came to a standstill.

Workplace isn't the place for meet and greets, sorry but it's not. If you want to do that do it on your own time.

MrsCakesPrecognition · 17/02/2015 14:50

TBH, visiting my office with a baby would have been a nightmare. Three hour round trip on trains and underground, no baby changing facilities, breastfeeding in open plan office. Maybe that's why it seems such on odd idea for a day out. Perhaps if you work local to where you live and can pop in for five mins, it is more appealing.

OfaFrenchMind · 17/02/2015 14:50

For me, babies outside of my family are drooling bags of sh*t. I adore my baby relatives, find the others stinky and hazardous. So I would be praying to be out when the kid is presented in the office.
And with my closer colleagues, I would say what your colleague said.

TheFriar · 17/02/2015 14:50

Tbh I don't think that babies should be brought in an office.
If you are close to the mum, surely you will get the opportunity to go and see her, have a coffee and a cuddle.
If you aren't that close, are you really bothered by the baby? Seriously?
In that way, I think SWNU

Besides, having someone turning up like this is disruptive in your work. It wouldn't be acceptable for anything else so why is it ok fir babies?

ImperialBlether · 17/02/2015 14:53

A baby is a drooling bag of shit?

Jesus.

DidoTheDodo · 17/02/2015 14:56

What apocketful said.
I never know what to say about babies.

OfaFrenchMind · 17/02/2015 14:57

Until they speak, yes. Not sorry.

Not my niece of course, she is the cleverest baby in the world, and her shit does not stink.

CatsCantTwerk · 17/02/2015 14:58

I have no interest whatsoever in anyone else's bundle of joy. There is nothing worse than being forced to hold and coo over someone else's Baby.
The work place is no place for babies/children.

Original poster
Behindthepaintedgarden · 17/02/2015 15:03

In fairness, in my workplace new babies are usually brought upstairs to the kitchen area so people are free to go and drool for ages, or to wander in and say congratulations and leave, or to just avoid the place until the baby is safely off the premises.

I have worked in places where the baby is wheeled into the office and the mother hangs around for most of the morning chatting, giving the baby his bottle etc. which I can understand could be annoying if someone was very busy, or just not in the mood for babies due to personal issues.

OP posts:
grannytomine · 17/02/2015 15:05

Where I work people would bring babies in, pop in on the way to school so little ones could use the loo, and yes grannies and grandads have popped in to see where their Gs/Gd works. It would often happen with staff from other countries who were proud to show their families where the worked.

Its no big deal to be polite smile and say something appropriate. Oh and some people bring their dogs to work as well.

SallyMcgally · 17/02/2015 15:05

I love it when my colleagues bring in their babies. It takes me about 3 mins to admire and say something nice to the parents. maybe 5 mins if I'm lucky enough for a cuddle. I'm gobsmacked by the attitudes on this thread (apart from those for whom a baby does awaken painful emotions, which is completely different). Anyone would think that hours of work time were being taken up by these visits. I think it's really lovely to share the happiness a little. Mind you I speak as one though who got huge, disappeared for a long time, and then returned looking a bit thinner with not a single word being said about the pregnancy, so maybe I've gone too far the other way.

muminhants · 17/02/2015 15:05

Fortunately I work from home so I avoid this. I really dislike people bringing their babies to work although I wouldn't make a nasty comment, I'd just disappear so that I neither have to be polite nor enthusiastic.

But I missed a Christmas lunch (in London) last year for other reasons, but was quite glad because a colleague was coming who was on maternity leave and bringing her baby with her. It may have been that she couldn't get childcare but in that case I wouldn't have bothered attending the lunch. It's a bit unfair to bring a small baby to what is clearly an adult occasion.

grannytomine · 17/02/2015 15:06

Where I work people would bring babies in, pop in on the way to school so little ones could use the loo, and yes grannies and grandads have popped in to see where their Gs/Gd works. It would often happen with staff from other countries who were proud to show their families where the worked.

Its no big deal to be polite smile and say something appropriate. Oh and some people bring their dogs to work as well.

muminhants · 17/02/2015 15:08

Seriously? People bring their dogs to work? WHY?

Not in the UK surely. Elf and safety surely?

Actually when I hypocritically took my baby son to the office (although it was 12 years ago and I lived 10 minutes' drive away) it had to be cleared by facilities management who had to do a risk assessment even though he was a few weeks old.

SleeplessinUlanBator · 17/02/2015 15:13

I guess it depends on the office and the nature of the work carried out there, some environments lend themselves to these kind of visits better than others. Personally when we have clients in (most of the time) who are quite literally spending thousands of pounds an hour for us to design/engineer something for them they are not too impressed when half the engineering team spend half an hour cooing and ahhing over said baby when the clock is ticking. Why not pop in at lunch time or arrange a coffee after work for interested colleagues instead?

fluffymouse · 17/02/2015 15:13

A lot of grumpy people on this thread.

I don't understand the objection to colleagues coming in to say hi with their babies. If you don't like babies then don't go over and coo.

countess I am sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Avoiding babies full stop is hardly realistic though. What about when your friends/family have babies?