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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my colleague was a bit snarky about baby visiting

156 replies

Behindthepaintedgarden · 17/02/2015 14:12

A woman at work had a baby recently and sent a message via one of her friends that she would be calling in with him on Friday at about 11am. One of my colleagues has just sighed and said 'Jeeze, like any of us are interested'!

AIBU to think that was a bit snarky? It doesn't take more than a couple of minutes to wander over and say 'ah he's lovely. Congratulations' Sad

OP posts:
ApocalypseThen · 17/02/2015 15:52

I like them well enough. The ones I like more than that I'd see outside work. But I couldn't say I'd miss the office during my holidays. Or make it my business to go in any day I don't strictly have to.

ender · 17/02/2015 15:54

I'd rather people didn't bring babies into work, its such a minefield trying to think of something non controversial to say if you don't know the mother well...there's a potential to cause huge offence by saying something like "Is he good?"
Puppies, of course, are welcome anytime Smile.

BeautyQueenFromMars · 17/02/2015 15:56

I took my baby into my old office when he was about 6 weeks old. It took up 10 minutes of my colleagues' time, and those who weren't interested just briefly said hello/congratulations and immediately went back to their work.

I can't believe how many people are being miserable about 10 minutes a year being taken out of work!

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 17/02/2015 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hoppinggreen · 17/02/2015 15:57

I suppose it was a bit snarky to say it out loud but I think that if you can't make time to see the baby outside work then you can't be that bothered anyway. I didn't take pfb into work, people who wanted to see her came to the house or I met them for a quick coffee near work. It wouldn't have occurred to me to go into the office with her.
Not really an appropriate place for a baby, especially if there are likely to be clients in.

MrsJohnLewis · 17/02/2015 15:58

So mean.

Other people's babies and weddings are dull. But they're still monumental life events for the person involved. Not to be sensitive to that is really emotionally stunted.

MaudeLebowski · 17/02/2015 16:04

*Seriously? People bring their dogs to work? WHY?

Not in the UK surely. Elf and safety surely?*

I used to work on Blue Peter. The dogs did often run about the office! Grin

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 17/02/2015 16:06

I have had two and taken neither to the office for the obligatory visit, I'm a mum and I have never got the visiting baby drama so if someone without kids voiced that I would understand what they were getting at but think perhaps the wording was a bit off!

MarchEliza · 17/02/2015 16:12

With regards the OP - it seems a clear case of 'if you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...'

I'm due with my first any minute now and I am in a quandary as quite a few work colleagues have asked me to bring baby in when she's arrived. I know they may only be saying it to be polite, but some of them have gone to the bother of buying the baby individual presents as well as a very generous 'leaving' gift - so I feel that they might genuinely want to meet her.

On the other hand I don't find other people's babies particularly interesting (would never comment like the person did in the OP) so I am aware that many of my colleagues will be forced to feign interest.

Incidentally I am always very keen to meet, hear stories about and see pictures of other people's cats.

PlumpingUpPartridge · 17/02/2015 16:15

If you can't make time to see the baby outside work then you can't be that bothered anyway.

Confused I reiterate my point about logistics. Individual trips to see my baby from my colleagues would entail an hour's round car trip, so not really feasible.

corgiology · 17/02/2015 16:15

I had a colleague say to a pregnant colleague after hearing about her pregnancy "You'll do anything to get off the till!"

Couldn't believe it. How rude is that?!

The irony is woman 1 had had trouble conceiving herself (but has one child), so why be so nasty and not supportive?

countessmarkyabitch · 17/02/2015 16:17

Sounds like a joke rather than particularly rude.

Hoppinggreen · 17/02/2015 16:20

Yes plumping but you could meet in a cafe nearby or something.
Having said that I've never really worked in an office so didn't know this was a thing that people did, just seems a bit inappropriate

PlumpingUpPartridge · 17/02/2015 16:23

You could, hopping, but my office does rather nice free coffee cheapskate Grin

Also, in a non-work environment people feel obliged to hang about, whereas in the office they can make a 5 minute cameo and then bugger off!

storytopper · 17/02/2015 16:24

Such a miserable thread. I'm happy to coo over anyone's baby at any time. The first weeks and months with a new baby can be so tough - a little bit of praise and encouragement for a mother and her baby can mean so much. Not everyone loves babies but 30 seconds to say "Aaww - he/she is lovely! Is he/she feeding well?" shouldn't kill anyone.

OwlinaTree · 17/02/2015 16:29

Only read page one, but I think it's nice, you're seen the person being pg, going through all that, it's nice to see the end result so to speak.

I was never that interested in holding them tbh, but nice to see the new mum looking happy/tired/proud. I work in a small workplace though, so we all interact a lot. Might be different in a large workplace?

Smallcogbigwheel · 17/02/2015 16:38

Uh, a bit narky but I know how she feels.

Saying that if I had a little one I wouldn't want to bring our office at the moment everyone one is either brewing a cold/ stomach bug or just back from sick due to above cold/ stomach bug. . .

leedy · 17/02/2015 16:40

Blimey, hadn't realize this was such a contentious issue. I went into work for lunch once or twice on both maternity leaves because I wanted to say hi to my colleagues (who I like), and I had the baby with me because, well, he was a baby and I couldn't really leave him at home on his own yet. Those who were interested in the baby came over and said hi to the baby. Those who weren't, didn't. (also we have had dogs in our office as well)

Obviously I totally feel for PP who've had miscarriages or other medical issues and are sensitive around the topic of children (I've had one m/c myself) but I'm a bit bemused by the more general HOW DARE THEY WALTZ INTO A WORKPLACE FLAUNTING THIS FOUL STINKING THING AND TAKE UP WHOLE MINUTES OF OUR TIME, AS IF WE'RE SUPPOSED TO FIND THE SHITBAG INTERESTING, GOD THE CRAZED ENTITLEMENT OF PARENTS, SURELY IT'S AGAINST HEALTH AND SAFETY etc. attitude.

UnalignedAnt · 17/02/2015 16:51

I had zero interest when colleagues brought their babies in, and they always seemed to hang around for ages. Nightmare when you've a deadline - nothing like a kerfuffle of cooing to kill the concentration.

So yes, I feel the same as your colleague. Wouldn't have voiced it though (too polite/chicken!).

woollytights · 17/02/2015 17:10

Why should they have to meet in a cafe? Confused Workplaces all have their own different cultures and its completely normal for new parents to bring the baby in to introduce to colleagues. Plenty of people like meeting babies. Have some of you really not seen the countless threads on here discussing managing the hoardes of visitors you get after having a baby?

The colleague in the OP (Does it even mention the gender?!) was rude for their choice of words, and actually saying something unkind behind somebodys back does not make it fine just because it wasnt said directly to the person. It was still an unpleasant thing to say.

Its good to get out and about when youve just had a baby. It can be nice to pop into work when you presumably havent seen your colleagues in a while, where theyll all be there in one place and have a quick catch up. Even I was taken into my parents workplaces to be introduced as a baby.

Whatever your thoughts on it there is definitely a way of saying things, and OP's colleague sounds like they were bitching.

WorraLiberty · 17/02/2015 17:17

Some people aren't interested in newborn babies?!I literally had no clue. I can think of nothing better than a little squidge of a new baby!!!!!!Everyone at my work goes crazy racing for the staff room when there's a baby in.

Jesus, why though?

It's one thing liking newborn babies but it's quite another to act like a lunatic about them.

Thurlow · 17/02/2015 17:24

Just when you think MN could get more miserable... Grin

littlesupersparks · 17/02/2015 17:24

Because your don't see newborn babies often or get the chance to hold them?! :-/ I love babies! So, it seems, does everyone else at my work. I'd never really considered that anyone might be pissed off at me bringing a baby in lol. I assumed that those who weren't bothered would stay out of the way! So therefore no need for snarky comments surely. I work with many other people who kindly take an interest in me and my pregnancy - there's no way they could all come and visit me at home, I'm not in touch with many of them socially anyway. My husband's colleagues have already asked if I will bring the babies in. To be honest, I'm not that keen as it's 50 minutes away, but I probably will because they want to see them and if I was them I would love to meet some tiny babies!

NoImSpartacus · 17/02/2015 17:27

TheReluctantCountess - A colleague brought his puppy into work the other week. It was a wonderful day for all of us. Sooooooo cute!

Now you're talking !

Babies, on the other hand, extreme Zzzzzzzzz

Andrewofgg · 17/02/2015 17:34

ApocalypseThen

I never understood why people wanted to bring their babies into work, to be honest. Who's really interested?

In my office - 60% female - everyone who is not stuck on the phone. Because of the gender mix (I assume) there is never any discussion of the gory side of childbirth; just colleagues taking a moment from their work to coo and congratulate.