To really hate having such an unusual name?

[Oddnameout]

Okay - this is long and ranty and probably a bit woe-is-me but here goes.

My name is very unusual. I have never met anyone else with it. A lot of people struggle to pronounce it, laugh at it, say it repeatedly in a silly voice, say a different name altogether. I'm sure you get the picture!

All that is harder than it sounds. I often dread having to introduce myself because of the above.

But the worst thing is that I'm not awarded any anonymity at all. Some examples I can think of are:

Unsuccessful interviews are remembered because of my name. If I apply to the company in the future my name is recalled.

Google searches; the first two pages of Google are all me.

I rang the Samaritans once due to depression. I was asked my name. I gave a different one on the off chance I knew the lady but she constantly used it and it became jarring and off putting.

I don't want to change it; I would feel like an idiot saying to all my friends 'from now on call me sophie' or whatever.

But - aibu to be fed up? Or am I over-reacting?

I have a very unusual surname, the only other people who have it are related to me. It's also a famous brand. I do get a lot of people asking if I'm anything to do with the brand, which does get a bit repetitive. I also find people struggle to spell it, despite it only being five letters long and pretty much phonetic. I can understand why it bugs you so much OP. But, you can't really do anything about the way people react to your name, other than point it out if they are being rude.

I have an unusual first and second name. It takes ages to pronounce and spell it on the phone. I don't like my name at all.

I have a very unusual impossible to say or spell first name. I really like it and, although I get comments about it, I don't get teased and I never have people saying it in a silly accent? It makes me wonder who you hang out with
I do use my middle name for a few things though - eg restaurant reservation.
I think you have to choose to put up with it or change it - it's a bit pointless wishing people would react differently when it sounds like it happens to you a lot.

I live in a very poor, very un-diverse area. It isn't people I "hang out with" so much as people I randomly encounter.

Please - I mean this nicely - stop telling me to change my name. I don't want to (as stated in my op) and that is that.

You sound very self-absorbed. I have a really difficult name that takes people 3 or 4 attempts to get right- it's mildly irritating. I laugh it off. Who cares? There are actual problems to worry about. People have given you some really sympathetic helpful replies, to which you have pouted 'I'm not changing my name, and I won't reveal what it is, so there!'
Well, I suggest you just get on with it then

Space; I'm certainly not remotely self absorbed.

I'm not revealing my name as its so identifiable and I don't want to change it. There is some irony in my saying things and people ignoring it/me on here as this is what happens when I say my name!

I'm aware of course there are 'actual' problems and one of my 'actual' problems is the loss of my parents at a very, very young age - who gave me my name. Since it's one of my only links to them perhaps that explains a little more clearly why I won't change it: that and the fact that I really don't want to! I like my name but hate correcting people.

I have asked mumsnet to please delete this anyway as we can't seem to get beyond the 'change your name' line and besides, I'm getting some bloody weird PMs

People get so wound up when you don't do as they say

My first name sounds very like a similar one (a bit like Kate/Katie) and I get weary with correcting people especially as certain accents drop the H anyway turning it into the different name!

Drip feed about your parents, but sorry to hear it. You asked am I overreacting? Yes you are.

Fair enough; I'm over reacting :)

(It wasn't a drip feed by the way - parents had nothing to do with my post. But your post seemed very cross that, as someone else said, I wasn't doing as you said.)

OP, I know what you mean about sometimes wanting to be Jane (which is my favourite name of all time)or Mary. I wish I didn't have to say 'Actually, it's pronounced 'my name' nearly every single time in any circumstance. I can understand why you would want to delete this thread, but if you need more of a rant, PM me.

I wasn't telling you to do anything at all. But I agree, it's annoying when people won't get your name right, and losing you parents is hard, so

I've been reading this thread the last couple of days and sorry OP but I think you are the problem!

You are really are quite arsey and take offence easily- and can be quite rude. And I didn't like your post about only educated people being able to pronounce your name.

What on earth other suggestions do you expect to get other than change your name, have a few pithy responses, second guess people's reactions by saying 'I'm XXX, yes it's a bit of a mouthful, but it's pronounced xxx' or just chill out about it?

Your only suggestion is that the whole rest of the world reacts as you want them to - but given your name is so rare that ain't gonna happen.

Everyone has crosses to bear - some people actually have real problems like severe disablilities they have to deal with reactions to every day.

Thanks for the nice wishes.

Pike - what can I say? A lot of the time you can use the anonymity of the 'Net to have a whine about the sort of stuff you can't in RL

I know a lot of my friends wouldn't be able to empathise. My dad had an unusual name and found it hilarious when people got it wrong! But while I'm not lacking in humour (although I appreciate this thread does make it look that way!) I just can't seem to muster up any where my name is concerned.

Honestly and without wanting to sound offhand, I do think changing your own name is easy to say and hard to do.

Artifex thank you

Mom I'm well aware of that; thank you.

I am arsey about this: I will hold my hands up. Not as a rule in RL but on here - yep. Mainly as I did say several times 'no I don't want to change it' but people still kept saying to change it - and didn't like my answer.

In fairness I am not arsey as a rule. Also in fairness many people do 'get it.' It is when people don't and go on to make a big drama out of it that its embarrassing and annoying.

None of the above negates the sympathy I have for people with disabilities, etc.

I agree people that are downright rude and aresholey (saying your name in silly voice - WTF?!) are twats and of course you'll get annoyed.

But overall you've come across as very snappy and, I think, snobby to boot.

Disablities and serious problems aside, we all have crosses to bear that people comment on whether it's huge boobs, very tall, very short, hair colour, our voices, accents, whatever, whatever. If you don't want to change your name - fair enough - but you realy need to suck it up.

I do.

I have an unusual name too. It's a pain. People ask me what it's short for - em it isn't short for anything. It has three letters in it!

I am called its nearest known name even if I correct it. You can tell people think my name is plain wrong...

Sorry the advice is no good. What about seeking solidarity? Apparently, there's a Facebook group called I'm Tired of People Fucking up my Name. Also see Whats in a name? Well, the right letters would help | Noo Saro-Wiwa

gu.com/p/45myp

I had the same problem and have changed mine. Everyone accepts my new name, even my mother who tells me she's offended but- she houldn't have burdened me with a name that I had t spell all the time, have people say incorrectly, and yes I had been mocked for it too. If you're really uncomfortable with your name, change it. I feel better for having done it. I changed mine to an anglisised version of the preious one. So, if my previous name was Jayandamashiama Kerry-O'Tooligan, I changed it to Jan Tool.

I'm sorry you lost your parents at a young age. Your name only attaches you to them because you think it does though.

People always say my name the more popular variant. I answer to that and any other variant. Im sure in the past I have unknowingly got someone's name wrong so assume its karma!

I share a surname with a very famous person, no relation but I always get ' are you married to/ is your dad.....'. I always say no but one time I said yea just for fun an they didn't believe me!

The op is being arsey?

Can't imagine why. But might just be a little bit related to people telling her that no, her name is the problem as she ahould change it.

So it's British if not English and makes phonetic sense you say op ?

Welsh name?

Yes the OP has an arsey attitude Alis, all her posts have been snappy if not rude to people who on the whole have really tried to help!

Yes some posters have suggested she changes her name as it clearly is such a huge problem for her - plus other suggestions. It hasn't been said flippantly, but as a valid choice.

The only solution OP sees fit is that the rest of the world react as she wants them to. That's not realistic is it?

As I said, we all have problems and issues in life. A complicated name is really quite far down on the list, even of first world problems.