To really hate having such an unusual name?

[Oddnameout]

Okay - this is long and ranty and probably a bit woe-is-me but here goes.

My name is very unusual. I have never met anyone else with it. A lot of people struggle to pronounce it, laugh at it, say it repeatedly in a silly voice, say a different name altogether. I'm sure you get the picture!

All that is harder than it sounds. I often dread having to introduce myself because of the above.

But the worst thing is that I'm not awarded any anonymity at all. Some examples I can think of are:

Unsuccessful interviews are remembered because of my name. If I apply to the company in the future my name is recalled.

Google searches; the first two pages of Google are all me.

I rang the Samaritans once due to depression. I was asked my name. I gave a different one on the off chance I knew the lady but she constantly used it and it became jarring and off putting.

I don't want to change it; I would feel like an idiot saying to all my friends 'from now on call me sophie' or whatever.

But - aibu to be fed up? Or am I over-reacting?

I have a v unusual name too - ie the same Google issue! Although I don't usually mind, as while it can make you memorable in a bad way, the same can happen in a good way.

I agree with the comment above though about how rude (and frankly stupid) people can be. My surname sounds like another word (food item). Yes that can be "amusing"- but when you get someone saying "your name sounds like tomato, ha ha, did you know that!!" (not the actual word!) it does get truly tiresome.

I may have posted this on MN before but my maiden name was a 10-letter name which is a village in the North-West. Nobody but nobody could spell it, despite it being phonetic. Oddly enough, it was always spelled correctly in Germany!

I have a much older half-sister who married a man with a straight-forward 4-letter surname. She said it was wonderful as nobody ever got it wrong and she never had to say "my name is x y spelt abcdefghi" all in one breath. Years later I married someone with the same 4-letter surname (what are the chances of that).

People do get the 4-letter surname wrong. All the time. They add an e where it's not wanted. And I live in an area where the district is the same name. I go into the local leisure centre called Name leisure centre and they STILL ask me how to spell it. I kid you not.

So you completely have my sympathy. At least I have an ordinary first name and people generally can't spell that one wrong. But I thought my new surname was ordinary and common and easy to spell as well!

Threads like this are so shit when we don't find out the name.

I don't want people knowing what a moody stroppy cow I actually am, maude!

A couple of people did guess but Pm-d me :)

How frustrating for you OP. Agree with PP's that it might be worth considering changing it.
My name is from a very popular nursery rhyme and 80% of the time when people hear it they start singing this fucking rhyme, or asking me if I'll 'Put the Kettle on' (Outed myself there haven't I )
It's so tiring that I've now taken to just staring at them confusedly and saying 'I've never heard that song. Sorry, would you like me to make you a cup of tea?'
Winds them right up.

Ive just read the whole of this thread whilst scrolling down thinking "Please DONT disclose it OP!"

And you didnt.

That would be like the self outting of all outtings that anyone has ever outted!

Why would people ask you what your name was when you had clearly stated in your original post that the name is so unique its all about you on google?! Of course you wouldnt out yourself like that.

Anyway, totally bloody agree that you shouldnt have to change your name or shorten it to fit into the expected mould.

People are ignorant wankers and Im sorry you have to deal with that so often.
Get their name wrong in return. Dick or Fanny would fit.

Mold?

Well in the example you gave up there of someone being a pillock why keep engaging with them? I'd just say "It's Melissa" a maximum of two times then disengage/leave/change the subject and leave them singing their song to thin air.

Also as someone said, you have name changed for this thread so why can't you just divulge the name. It's hard to properly relate if we don't know what we're talking about.

Shit.

I have an unusual surname through marriage (I was born a Smith) and have given all 3 DCs fairly unusual names although DS is now quite a common name. They do get more and more unusual throughout though.

You could be my DD2 in 30 years. Her middle name isn't that normal either. You can shorten it though so we'll see.

Also FWIW I dont think you should tell us your name on this thread.

I have a friend who was name after 2 grandmothers names combined - Rubina and Barbara. The result was Barina. SHe hates it, but the alternative would have been Rubarb...

Adds Rubarb to short list

Yup, I have an unusual name and I hate it - I use my surname in all possible situations (which can also be a first name, which helps).
I think my mum used to laugh about how silly I was for disliking it until she was with me when I was admitted to hospital last year - I went for a test and every single stage of the process (checking in, being collected etc) the person would do the same "How do you pronounce that? Oh thats unusual, wheres that from....". She at least began to look a little guilty at the fourth person :D

No, not really, as the post explains.

And I don't want to be known as an initial; I have said this.

Do you dislike your name or the fact it is unusual or the reaction?

i have a horribe surname (i dislike the name/and the reaction) - I quite like the unusualness - I am the only one in this country! My sister had both the unusual surname and forename - which I think is harder (i end up on firstname turns quickly)- she tends to use a shortened form or respond to variations on it. In the call you mentioned I would have (and I have a first name which is not so common and people constantly use names that sound similar) I tend to just give in and say yes to whatever variation it is - caveated with that will do.

I do use DP's surname for bookings etc for ease
I think its about minimising the times when people get it wrong/have to use it

I'm really not hard work, I promise. I just get a bit tired of saying the same thing over and over and over again, whether that's how to say my name or the fact I don't want to change it or be known as an initial.

Fragile; I like my name. I wouldn't have chosen it but it's certainly a perfectly acceptable name, not made up, makes phonetic sense and while it isn't English is British. But the reactions of some people are jarring and some days when I just have a headache and feel under the weather - some days I don't want to have to politely say 'no my name is XXX' I just want to say 'hi I am Jane or Mary or whatever'.

It's so hard to explain and perhaps I am hard work about it but by now my name and I are the same thing, almost. To adopt a different name entirely would be rejecting a part of me. By the same token I don't want to brand myself with an initial.

Clearly others don't see it in the same way and perhaps I would be the same if I was Sophie or Jane or Anna. But I'm not.

My friend has a little girl by a man of African descent and so of course their child is mixed race and I know she has similar issues about the comments re her child's hair - just to let it be, not make a 'thing' about it, but of course people aren't intentionally being rude and you don't want to look like a tit. You don't want to reject that part of you; just want others to see it for what it is - a name, or hair. Just to leave it!

I have an unusual first and surname, the only people I know with my surname are relatives and I always have to spell it. My first name is also one letter different to a similar boys name and I am constantly amazed at the number of people who mispell it or call me by the boys name, even when they can see me or see my name written down. It bugs the hell out of me.

I used to hate my name when I was at school, it was always commented on, however as an adult I did come to love it, and when I married I did not change my surname, I'd grown into my name by then, and although I do get annoyed with people I am more likely to shrug my shoulders now (or have the odd rant about the stupidity of people)