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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really hate having such an unusual name?

151 replies

Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 16:17

Okay - this is long and ranty and probably a bit woe-is-me but here goes.

My name is very unusual. I have never met anyone else with it. A lot of people struggle to pronounce it, laugh at it, say it repeatedly in a silly voice, say a different name altogether. I'm sure you get the picture!

All that is harder than it sounds. I often dread having to introduce myself because of the above.

But the worst thing is that I'm not awarded any anonymity at all. Some examples I can think of are:

Unsuccessful interviews are remembered because of my name. If I apply to the company in the future my name is recalled.

Google searches; the first two pages of Google are all me.

I rang the Samaritans once due to depression. I was asked my name. I gave a different one on the off chance I knew the lady but she constantly used it and it became jarring and off putting.

I don't want to change it; I would feel like an idiot saying to all my friends 'from now on call me sophie' or whatever.

But - aibu to be fed up? Or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 15/02/2015 18:28

Do you know kawliga I actually remember it rather fondly.....

pluCaChange · 15/02/2015 19:39

What about the initials of your first name and surname, e.g. Jemimapuddleduck Darcus becomes "JD, even JD Darcus"? To be honest, I'd do that on Facebook already, if O were you.

DH has a very Johnnt Foreigner surname, so I maintain my (rather "normal") English name for work, and have just adopted a pseudobym for writing, so I'm neither one-of-many (maiden name) , noe the

pluCaChange · 15/02/2015 19:41

nor the only one (married name).

By the way, I really didn't intend that "Jonty Foreigner" typo in my previous post! Grin

BongoT · 15/02/2015 19:44

Is your name Hakunamatata?

Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 19:55

Hilarious Bongo Hmm

Do people semi-appreciate the wit and hilarity I have on a daily basis? I might add it is amongst a select group of people. I hate to say it but those with a certain level of education don't struggle.

No, I don't want to be known by my initials Smile my name is fine.

I promise it is not difficult.

OP posts:
AJNH · 15/02/2015 19:56

My dd has an unusual name, I think I had baby brain when I named her! But she gets called something completely different! At home and play school! :-)

Dying to know what your name is Shock Grin

I don't have any advise sorry ha!

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 15/02/2015 19:57

Op, I feel your pain. Just once I'd like to be introduced to someone without them saying 'that's an unusual name, how's it spelt? Are you from the UK?' etc

I often shorten my name to something that is more common although the short version is considered an older persons name. My middle name is even worse than my first name because there's a cartoon character with the same name! I made sure that my DC were given names that were among the top 10 most common names and I took my DHs very common surname.

anothernumberone · 15/02/2015 20:11

My FIL is known by 3 different names by 3 different groups, ex work, his bros and sis and his children. None of them are on his birth cert. He never puts a bill in any of his 3 aliases as he is of a tinfoil hat persuasion he is a retired police officer so I presume he is not being chased by the law He certainly has no drama flitting between names. Do it if you want to. It sounds like it is really bugging you.

Artifexmumdi · 15/02/2015 20:17

Oh, OP, I have an unusual and unpronounceable name too with a totally useless middle name. I understand completely.

The worst is when people assume I have misspelled my own name. I also used to dread teachers taking the register for the first time. I'd recognise when they came to my name and would squirm with embarrassment when I had to correct them.

This is why my 3 DCs all have 2 names all pronouceable, recognisable and easily made into multiple nicknames.

TalkinPeace · 15/02/2015 20:17

Nimpy
Why on earth would one not want the excuse to be called Q Grin

and frankly, put Agent in front of your initial, put on dark shades and go for it.

Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 20:18

But another, with respect - and I really do mean that - that misses the point completely.

I don't want to change my name. I don't want to be known by a nickname or my initials or my middle name.

I want people to say my name properly. I want people to treat it/me seriously. I want people to not say it in silly voices.

Think about it: in any other context the idea that YOU are the one with the problem would be given short shrift on here, wouldn't it? I should not have to change my name to a bog-standard name or worse (imo!) a sound that isn't a name at all, to stop people being ridiculous. I may not always love my name but it is mine and I don't really see why I should have to change it because of other people's stupid issues.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 20:19

Artifex - yes to people thinking tou misspelled your own name! My wage slips have the 'wrong' name on them Hmm

OP posts:
Ememem84 · 15/02/2015 20:21

i too am dying to know what your name is...

TalkinPeace · 15/02/2015 20:21

Oddname
I have a friend whose name is so unusual (downright weird in fact) that if I just google her first name I find her ...
I'm sure at times she has loathed it
we sure as heck teased her at school about it
BUT
she is strong and beautiful and happily married with beautiful children (with relatively normal names)

Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 20:23

I'm sure people understand, given that it is pretty unique, why I don't want to disclose what it is.

Yes, I got teased at school for my name too Hmm some people never grow out of it

OP posts:
Nolim · 15/02/2015 20:41

I don't want to change my name. I don't want to be known by a nickname or my initials or my middle name.

Op i know that it is reasonable to be called by your name and that in an ideal world it shouldn have to be a problem. But unfortunatelly it has been. And it is not going to change unless someone with your name becomes famous or something.

I dont have any advise othe than learn to live with it or do something about it. Sorry.

blackheartsgirl · 15/02/2015 20:48

I have an unusual first name especially for my generation and an extremely unusual surname (capital city of a particular country) and I am very googleable. I was teased at school mercilessly for it and it's affectedmy confidence as an adult.In fact I cringe when I have to tell peoplemy surname

I'm due to get married soon so at least I can change my surname but still leaves mewith my first name.I can shorten it though so its not too bad

LingDiLong · 15/02/2015 21:06

I used to feel a bit like that about my name but I've grown to love it. I think it helps that I've obviously met a lot less arseholes than you and most people make really nice comments about it. Although having to spell it and correct people's pronounciation over and over again does my head in. If I have an appointment or need to leave my name with people I always just use Mrs Surname instead because I can't be doing with spelling it out. It doesn't help that the spelling indicates a different pronounciation to the one it actually has!

I'm not sure what the solution is...but I have in the past when I've been teased by people, thought of my name as 'an arsehole filter'. If somebody is rude enough to snigger at your name then you know immediately that they're a dick who's not worth bothering with. Without your name it could have taken you months of your precious time to work that out.

LeSaor · 15/02/2015 21:12

YABU for saying you "hate having an unusual name" and then jumping on people who suggest it wouldn't be stupid if you change it. Unless you want people to name their kids after you, even if people can say it then it's still an unusual name and your thread title and initial post has nothing to do with what youre now complaining about.

3littlerabbits · 15/02/2015 21:20

I once giggled at someone's name and made a 'like the pickle' style comment. Deeply awful. I was very shy and nervous at the time and was trying to be jokey and funny like the cool kids. She looked daggers at me and I have felt like an arse ever since whenever I think of it. It was a random holiday encounter so never had the chance to apologise.

Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 21:20

Le I find your post a little difficult to follow but essentially you seem to be saying I should either deal in stoic silence with people behaving like ten year olds or change my name.

I don't like the school of thought that YOU should change because of someone else's behaviour and that stands true whatever the cause is. I stated in my first post I didn't want to change my name for this very reason: to be frank why should I?

OP posts:
trashcanjunkie · 15/02/2015 21:54

Perhaps you should edit the title to say 'I really hate it when silly tossers take the piss out of my beautiful yet unusual name' Grin

I'm firmly in the 'keep your name, ditch the cunts and learn a death stare' gang Wink

ToastyFingers · 15/02/2015 21:59

trashcan I have a surname that is the name of a well known product too and people used to take the piss.

I rather like it now though.

Tisiphone · 15/02/2015 22:38

OP, I was going to bring up a point you made a few posts back, and say 'Who are these people, and do you have to live your life surrounded by such idiots?' I know exactly what you mean about the daily 'wit and hilarity', but it seems to me (as the owner of a non-phonetic foreign name, who has cheerfully given her son a name so unusual it didn't appear in the stats for his year of birth) that that kind of thing comes from people who are insular at best, ignorant at worst. People who don't know people from other cultures and judge everything from some kind of fnar fnar Little Englander point of view. I'm lucky not to have to be around that kind of thing myself, though I'm currently living somewhere small where literally 90% of the under-gives are called Harry, George, And variants on Isabel/Belle/Isobella and Amelia/Emilia.

And no, there's no way you 'should' change your name.

AllYourBase · 15/02/2015 22:49

As you have namechanged to post this, why can't you share it? I love unusual names.

I have a very rare forename, and an even more rare surname.
I have received letters addressed to (direct quote) "Mrs. AllYourBacon, because AllYourBase isn't a real name" Shock Hmm of course, I would send out letters and put my name wrong in them, wouldn't I? Stupid, stupid people.
DH gets asked to spell his (completely ordinary, English, like 'Dave' or 'Mike') forename because they get so thrown by the surname. FFS. It's not as if it's Icelandic or something, it's completely phonetic, and not really all that long Confused It doesn't sound rude or funny or anything. People are weird.

I used to know someone named Haemagulain. I think she's changed it now she's older.