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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really hate having such an unusual name?

151 replies

Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 16:17

Okay - this is long and ranty and probably a bit woe-is-me but here goes.

My name is very unusual. I have never met anyone else with it. A lot of people struggle to pronounce it, laugh at it, say it repeatedly in a silly voice, say a different name altogether. I'm sure you get the picture!

All that is harder than it sounds. I often dread having to introduce myself because of the above.

But the worst thing is that I'm not awarded any anonymity at all. Some examples I can think of are:

Unsuccessful interviews are remembered because of my name. If I apply to the company in the future my name is recalled.

Google searches; the first two pages of Google are all me.

I rang the Samaritans once due to depression. I was asked my name. I gave a different one on the off chance I knew the lady but she constantly used it and it became jarring and off putting.

I don't want to change it; I would feel like an idiot saying to all my friends 'from now on call me sophie' or whatever.

But - aibu to be fed up? Or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 16:44

It's interesting so many posters are encouraging me to change my name.

I absolutely respect your views and the point you are making in support of me but analysed closely doesn't it look odd: not their fault for being unable to say it but my fault for having a strange name.

"Fit in, please, become a Claire or a Rebecca or a Sarah and there won't be a problem.'

OP posts:
StayGoldPonyBoy · 15/02/2015 16:47

YANBU to feel that way. It's ridiculous that people can't deal with it. I'm dying to know what your name is though! Mine is unusual, so is DDs but they're pronouncable and can be shortened so we have it easy. Do you want to change it, or are you just sick of people being idiots? Would you like it if it was used properly?

I had a friend growing up with a totally out there first name, her parents genuinely called her it to be 'cool' and she went by her middle name, Charlotte, for her whole life including at home, so I didn't see the point in her first name being the one it wasHmm

Original poster
Oddnameout · 15/02/2015 16:51

If I posted it youd probably all wonder what the fuss was about: it is unusual but not bananas!

People - well, some people I should say - just can't deal with it.

OP posts:
Nolim · 15/02/2015 16:54

Op it is not your fault of course.
But you cannot change people. You have corrected them politely to no avail for 3 decades and nothing changes. So get used to it or change it, at least informaly. I know lots of peple with unpronunceable names (foreign ones mainly) who choose to be called by a mainstream name for professional reasons and no one blinks at that.

fluffyraggies · 15/02/2015 16:54

Oh i think you are totally right OP. You are entitled to people NOT being a prat and to have your name respected, and used correctly. It absolutely is not your 'place' to change your name because of their behavior.

However, you are also well within your rights to make life easier if you wish, by changing your name. No point in being miserable over a principal. These idiots who are rude about your name are not the ones feeling upset.

I am heartened to see you saying you feel affinity with your name. Perhaps this is the start of you finding a new strength to go forward with your name as it is. and tear a strip off those who laugh at your name. i mean WHO laughs at a persons name - over primary school age

GoringBit · 15/02/2015 16:56

YANBU to hate having an unusual name, but from your later comments, you're going to keep using it. I totally respect that, but I'm afraid others aren't going to change, so you'll have to keep on keeping on with corrections. If I was you, I'd have a well-rehearsed comeback or two for anyone who is rude enough to laugh at your name.

trashcanjunkie · 15/02/2015 16:58

I hated my surname all through my childhood. If my name was read out in class or assembly, I would want to fucking die.

I never connected the two at the time, but as an adult I have really worked on my self esteem. Guess what? I don't hate it anymore...

And just to prove it, my surname is Branston..... Yes as in the pickle Grin

TalkinPeace · 15/02/2015 16:58

You do not have to do anything legal or any of that guff.
Pick a name that you like and use it for a month.
If needs be change again after that

A common option is to make your initial into your name

Jeremiah becomes Jay
Deliah becomes Dee
Cecily become Cee
Emilia becomes Em

or make up a new name out of your initials ...

the point is that you can call yourself anything you like so long as its not for the purposes of fraud
lots of slebs do not use their real names for example

GokTwo · 15/02/2015 17:00

Some people are a bit rude and immature aren't they? I've always thought it would be so cool to have an unusual name but I have noticed that some of the children I teach cringe when they have to tell a new person their unusual name. It's a tricky one. If you actually like your name and are attached to it then maybe telling people to stop being idiotic about it is the way to go.

TalkinPeace · 15/02/2015 17:01

One of my children has an unusual name. And very deliberately has a very normal middle name for if ever they want to switch.

kawliga · 15/02/2015 17:01

The thing about people who laugh at names, is they honestly think they are the first person you have ever met who noticed that your name is unusual. If you respond rudely and try to put them in their place they honestly won't understand what set you off - they don't realize you have to deal with the same stupid comments all the time. Meanwhile, you will go around being rude to lots of people and turning into a bitter old hag. I don't recommend it.

You could try patiently saying 'yes, yes, people laugh at my name all the time' and hopefully that will make them realize they are being utterly unoriginal and twattish.

kawliga · 15/02/2015 17:04

And just to prove it, my surname is Branston..... Yes as in the pickle

I bet you get that all the time, 'oh, like the pickle' from people who think they're the first person ever to have noticed the link there...

whattheholyfeck · 15/02/2015 17:06

I bet your name is great. I love unusual names. Do tell!!

tiggytape · 15/02/2015 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrownedReindeer · 15/02/2015 17:20

Madonna?

trashcanjunkie · 15/02/2015 17:23

kawliga I was about 15 when they launched the 'bring out the branston hot' campaign..... The boys used to do a whispering chant whenever I walked into a class. Complete with 'tsss' noise. They were definitely not being nice either.....

FizzyNuts · 15/02/2015 17:28

I could have written your post op, I also have a very unusual name, never met anyone else with the same name (that's 30 years so far!), when I meet people I always have to repeat it and hardly anyone remembers it.

But however much it pisses me off, I wouldn't change my name, even the thought of doing that just feels wrong (for me, not judging anyone who would do it!!)

I have tried using a shortened one syllable version of my name but it didn't feel like me at all when people said it!

No words of wisdom for you but yanbu at all!

LynetteScavo · 15/02/2015 17:31

You'll only be remembered if your surname is also unusual.

I used to have an unusual name, but oddly, it went from snigger funny to top ten within 30 years. My maiden surname was also unusual, so I was happy to change it when I got married....I feel your pain at having an unusual name.

If people comment at all on your name they are just RUDE.

kawliga · 15/02/2015 17:36

Trashcan sorry to hear you suffered at school with it. Other kids who suffered similar: surnames like Bogg, Pratt, Balls.

burgatroyd · 15/02/2015 17:37

I love unusual names!

I don't get it when Asian and Chinese people anglasis their names. Now they are embracing their own names, making us learn to say them.

About time too

StrawberryCheese · 15/02/2015 17:43

I don't see my name as unusual but many people do because it's not English. I hate introducing myself because I have to repeat my name at least three times, only to then have the person say it back to me incorrectly Confused and when they then attempt to spell it, well it's a whole other hilarious story! Interestingly, when it pops up on the baby name threads it is listed as one of the easiest Welsh names for English people to say. Its all lies!

I like my name though and I've just concluded that some people are just a bit ignorant and will hear and say what they want to. It's their problem. Yanbu about people laughing at your name though, that's just rude.

NimpyWWindowmash · 15/02/2015 17:44

I have an unusual name, never met anyone with the same name.

People go "what?" Or "pardon?" and I have to repeat it twice. I have an even more complicated surname!

I am also unusually tall, and I decided long ago to just embrace the whole package of being me, and I make the height/name thing an icebreaker

My second name is Sophie, but I never use it. Unless in Starbucks Grin

Keep the name, turn it into a piece of the legend that is you.

MynameisMary · 15/02/2015 17:44

I hate my name. When I introduce myself on the phone, people normally can't understand my accent (which isn't broad at all!) and they ask me to spell it.

They will then pronounce it with their own accent so it becomes a different name altogether. Very frustrating.

So YADNBU OP.

NimpyWWindowmash · 15/02/2015 17:47

Talkinpeace, the initial thing does not work well with I, Q or W (I am one of these!)

StrawberryCheese · 15/02/2015 17:47

I agree burgatroyd about Asian/Chinese feeling the need to change their name, it's such a shame. I went to college with a girl who's real name was Joon (lovely, not difficult to say) but she chose to be known as Kelly!