To feel we are all a little bit too obsessed with education and school?

[TheOddity]

I've seen threads recently about people remortgaging their house for private education, teachers publicly shamed in front of their peers for results beyond their control, people moving house to be nearer a good nursery, and on and on.
I recently moved to another country in Europe. I asked my new neighbour what the local nursery was like as that's where we intended to send our son. They said "it's very close and convenient". My spidey senses were tingling, did this mean it was a failing nursery? Next I go to the first parents' meeting. Not a word was spoken about targets, the curriculum etc. it was all about food and naps. In the end section for questions, the questions parents asked were about.....food and naps! He is there now for half a year, it's fine, And hopefully sometimes he is learning. There is one secondary school nearby so everyone goes there and again, it's fine. I am not overly worried my son will fail, because he is bright and I will help him.
I just think, are we all insane in the UK? Is it worth the stress? At the end of the day, if you are worried enough about them to remortgage your house, surely you could just do a bit of homework with them each night and it will all turn out ok? AIBU to think that school is all a bit out of proportion and life is pretty unpredictable unless your parents already own a fortune?

That does sound rather intense Taz I have to say.

Sorry - not read the whole thread.

My school was awful. When I had children I was living in the catchment area for that school. I would do anything to ensure my children didn't go there.

As it turned out, I emigrated, not entirely to avoid the school, but it was a factor in pushing me from the area.

Yes.

@OP in the european country you are in, are they draconian nuts about in term holidays like they are here? Because i might consider moving there just for that.

I think this all comes down to social mobility. School attitudes are crazy in the US and Britain. Guess what, those countries have the best correlation (along with Italy) of father-son income.

This is how our education system works in the UK:

• Take the top layer of highest achieving and most privileged children. Spend twice as much on their education as is spent on all the others.

• Isolate them from low achieving and poor children (though a tiny number of exceptionally clever poor children will be seeded through most private schools in order to avoid accusations of social exclusivity)

• Denude state schools of talent by offering bursaries to those children who are the most gifted in music or sport, or academically able.

Those that have most are given most.

Those who have least are given least.

It's a system perfectly designed to perpetuate privilege and inequality. Not just perpetuate it, but expand it.

It stinks.

"those parents lucky enough to live in areas with good schools waxing lyrical about about how one should not obsess about schooling but just send their kids to the local school, come across as incredibly smug"

Well - sending the brightest and most motivated children into socially, academically and economically selective schools is hardly going to improve the situation is it? It's going to perpetuate it. Until those of us who are prepared to contribute and support our local schools start sending our children there, they're going to stay shit aren't they? Who do you think is responsible for the schools within our communities? We are!

50% of those at Oxbridge come from state schools so obviously that "system" is not working very well......

Also whatever the system is it clearly works. We have just overtaken France to be the 4th largest economy in the world.

And most of those 50% come from comprehensives, there are only a few grammar schools left.

Sooooo all of us who can't afford private need to sacrifice our kids education in order for equality and have zero choice- err no thanks.

70s and 80s educated kid here having no intention of making the same mistakes as my parents unwittingly did back then.

For those of us not in the top 10% of wealth and not able to afford private,obsession with education is pretty much our biggest weapon in ensuring our kids reach their full potential.Instead of engaging in this weird British habit of denigrating it we should encourage and help more parents to do the same.

mehit actually state selective schools punch well above their weight in securing places at Oxbridge. And indeed at all highly selective universities.

Comprehensives punch below their weight both in participation and acceptance rates at these universities.

A lot of people are doing a lot of work to try to change things, but we need to accept the bald truth if anything is to happen.

Well of courses they do - they jolly well should when they hand pick the pupils! There are however very few of them and so the bulk of that 50% is made up from comprehensives.

Take out private education, grammar schools and home ed and it still means that about 90% of children are in state comprehensives.

For me, a happy home life is a squillion times more important than the school. What prevented me reaching my educational potential was my parents divorce - it took me years to recover and they were important years in my education. One thing my DDs will always have is a secure home with 2 parents who love them, no school can compensate for that lack.

I live in rural Scotland and the overwhelmingly vast majority of children go to then nearest comp that is incredibly similar to my school experience ie it is fine. If you are clever & want to do well, you will. My DD1 is and has. It doesn't hothouse or push like a private, so self motivation is needed, but I see that as a good thing.

Most of Scotland has a genuine and effective comprehensive system. Edinburgh is different & pockets of Perthshire, but by and large children go to their local primary that feeds into a comprehensive, just as DH & I did.

More to the picture than numbers going to Oxbridge though, eh?

Yanbu at all. I am a teacher and I feel the uk is obsessed with education in the wrong way. It's sad

Not everyone wants to go to Oxbridge- I didn't and my children didn't. We are all doing our first choice from state comprehensives.

whattheseitakasmean what if your child isn't particularly clever though just average or heaven forbid on here, below average?

My DC's are educated privately, they are not particularly clever and nor is the school they attend a hothouse.

Agree re the happy home life though.

I'm not sure it's changed that much over time. Or perhaps fewer people felt they could go for whatever was out there.

Information is online, we can see what others are doing, schools sell themselves. Before doors probably felt more closed.

Of course nit which is why I think you need to drill down into the figures for a wider group of selective universities ( and also the most competitive courses).

I agree with a lrevious poster that if a child is bright they will succeed anywhere. But not all children are bright.

My ds is average, doesn't cause trouble and is not motivated at all. He has fallen under the radar all his life. Bright kids get extra help, less able kids get extra help, naughty kids get extra attention. The well behaved, average ones are just left to get on with it, as the teachers just dont have enough time.

mehit I agree that not every able pupil wants to apply to Oxbridge.

However, if we start to widen our observations to include other very selective universities and competitive courses, we see a similar ( sometimes worse ) participation/ acceptance rate.

Can we really just put this down to comprehensive students not wanting to go? That they have, as the largest group thought 'nah' ?

It depends on the comprehensive- they are not equal. Some send lots, some have never sent any.

The problem is that kids spend so much of their lives and their energy in school. If school is boring and dreary, it makes kids lose some of their joy and their interest in the world.

I hate putting my children in a place which suppresses their natural spirit and curiosity for much of their day (a couple of hours would be fine).

But the whole point of comps is that school A is meant to offer the same education as school B.
The same opportunities.

The fact that we all know this is BS is what fuels the supposed 'obsession'.

Resources are finite. There aren't enough good teachers to ensure all pupils are in equally good schools.