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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to Facebook search the nursery staff?

147 replies

LadyLupin · 12/02/2015 17:23

I didn't think I was until I mentioned it to my sister and she was a little shocked.

Two of my children recently started pre school and before they did, I Facebook searched the 3 staff members that run it. I don't know what I was looking for really, part of it was plain nosiness and partly because I wanted to see what they were like, whether they re posted Britain First crap or had photos of themselves posing gangster style it something. I would have probably sent the DC somewhere else if they had.

I also read reviews of the pre school and all the usual stuff. I'm a little more concerned than I was when my older children were young enough to be starting out at preschool as one of my DC has SN and I've been worried about leaving him.

I justified it to my sister by saying that if they didn't want to be searchable then they would've had their Facebook accounts locked down tightly. I can only see what they have made public.

Was I unreasonable to have searched for them? Do you do this, or am I odd?

OP posts:
SoonToBeMrsB · 12/02/2015 17:27

YWNB totally U to search for them to get an idea of who they are but YWBU to judge them based on silly poses. If they are good at their jobs then that's all you need to know, you don't need to look through personal pages and judge them based on having a few drinks and taking (harmless) funny photos with their friends.

Stillyummy · 12/02/2015 17:28

What a good idea! It is public access, I always assume anything I post on face book can be seen by critics (work, clients and my mum).

AwfulBeryl · 12/02/2015 17:29

I do it, I have done it with nursery staff and at school. I am a nosey fucker curious person too.
I don't see it as invasive, or even weird, fb is just a directory to me, you can adjust security settings and even make yourself unsearchable.
I thought everyone did it.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 12/02/2015 17:30

I don't think YWBU, were I looking for childcare I would probably do the same, ie do everything I could to get a feel of the place and its staff....fb is
Widely used by employers nowadays to check up on applicants and staff. Any childcare setting should have guidelines to its staff about privacy, confidentiality, social media etc etc.

Summerisle1 · 12/02/2015 17:30

YABU. Especially to attempt to draw any sensible conclusions about anyone from Facebook. Do you plan to Facebook stalk everyone your dcs will come into contact with until their adulthood?

queentroutoftrouts · 12/02/2015 17:30

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Isn't everyone entitled to privacy and a private life out side of work? As long as they are good at their job then why on earth would you want to know about there private life?it is a bit weird and invasive, I wouldn't be impressed if I were them.

WD41 · 12/02/2015 17:30

Yanbu. It's not something I've done myself - it didn't occur to me - but there's nothing wrong with it. Prospective employers check out candidates' social media, why shouldn't you do the same for people who will be caring for your child?

morethanpotatoprints · 12/02/2015 17:30

Not odd at all.
When I did teacher training not that many years ago we were warned that we should lock down our fb so that students couldn't access our private lives and use it against us/ stir up trouble.
You can tell alot about somebody from just a little bit on fb and I would have done the same in your shoes.
If they have been told to do this and they haven't well its their own look out.
I hope you didn't find anything you'd rather not have done.
YANBU

Original poster
LadyLupin · 12/02/2015 17:33

I probably would FB search everyone they came in contact with tbh, more out of nosiness than concern though. FB is made for nosy people.

I wouldn't have any problem with them having photos of nights out and being normal people, but racist, homophobic, disabilitist stuff would have been reason for me to send my DC elsewhere.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyLupin · 12/02/2015 17:36

I didn't see anything that made me stop and think. Photos of cats and birthday cakes mainly. They are all very nice people, I've stayed for a few of the sessions (due to DC4s SN) and I am totally confident in them.

I did FB search the scout leaders of the group that my older DC go to a couple of years back, and found a handful of photos of my DC on their personal pages which I thought was rather odd.

OP posts:
Queenlizandabottleofgin · 12/02/2015 17:37

I would but I already know the women at my dd nursary.

BMO · 12/02/2015 17:39

I'm super nosy and Facebook stalk almost everyone I meet Grin

TheFairyCaravan · 12/02/2015 17:40

I would do a Twitter search if it were me.

I know of someone who works with children, I don't think she is fit to look after maggots, her Fb settings are really tight whereas her Twitter feed is completely open. Not only that you can get a very, very good idea of what she is like from what she tweets and retweets.

LadyLuck10 · 12/02/2015 17:42

Your sister is very naive if she thinks people don't use fb as a reference/ source of info.

MrsTawdry · 12/02/2015 17:45

YANBU. Social media is a valid way of checking whether someone's your cup of tea or not. It needn't be seen as a particularly "sly" thing to do. Anyone with half an ounce of common sense should realise that their SM accounts are regularly checked by those interested. Employers, friends, potential friends...even neighbours and shopkeepers. It's what happens today.

Salmotrutta · 12/02/2015 17:45

queentrout - I don't think the OP was snooping into their private life so much as just checking they weren't posting ill-judged opinions or dodgy activities!

I'm a teacher and we are constantly being advised to be extremely circumspect with social media. I don't do FaceAche but if I did I'd treat it as though parents were searching my posts.

DakotaFanny · 12/02/2015 17:46

Do it all the time....sometimes I end up looking at total stranger's pages. People need to be tighter on their privacy settings!! Guilty!

Salmotrutta · 12/02/2015 17:46

And yes, employers do social media checks on potential employees! It's routine nowadays.

Graciescotland · 12/02/2015 18:08

I haven't done this but I see no problem with it. I think anyone who works with children / public facing role should expect their profiles will be looked at.

Sn00p4d · 12/02/2015 18:17

Yanbu. I'm a teacher as are many of my friends, my profile is on lock down as are theirs, many use fake names so they're entirely unsearchable. I don't want parents or pupils knowing my business, so I don't make it available to them, it's not hard.

FightOrFlight · 12/02/2015 18:22

Hell yes I'd FB search them!

YANBU

Original poster
LadyLupin · 12/02/2015 18:36

Glad the majority seem to think it was a reasonable thing to do. Thanks for all your opinions.

OP posts:
TwoOddSocks · 12/02/2015 18:43

queentrout

Of course they're entitled to a private life but a public Facebook profile isn't part of their private life. If OP had hired a private investigator to follow them around you'd definitely have a point but I don't see how anyone can begrudge people looking at information they've chosen to make public.

I don't think it's unreasonable to make certain judgements about people based on their Facebook profile. I wouldn't want someone racist or sexist looking after my child for example.

giraffesNeedBigPoloNecks · 12/02/2015 18:48

YANBU and I say that as a nanny who is well aware parents may FB search me.

britnay · 12/02/2015 19:27

I run a small business. I always look up potential clients after they first contact me. It is very important and I will certainly not take on anyone who looks as though they won't fit in. Links to things like Britain First on facebook is an automatic nono for me.

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