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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to Facebook search the nursery staff?

147 replies

LadyLupin · 12/02/2015 17:23

I didn't think I was until I mentioned it to my sister and she was a little shocked.

Two of my children recently started pre school and before they did, I Facebook searched the 3 staff members that run it. I don't know what I was looking for really, part of it was plain nosiness and partly because I wanted to see what they were like, whether they re posted Britain First crap or had photos of themselves posing gangster style it something. I would have probably sent the DC somewhere else if they had.

I also read reviews of the pre school and all the usual stuff. I'm a little more concerned than I was when my older children were young enough to be starting out at preschool as one of my DC has SN and I've been worried about leaving him.

I justified it to my sister by saying that if they didn't want to be searchable then they would've had their Facebook accounts locked down tightly. I can only see what they have made public.

Was I unreasonable to have searched for them? Do you do this, or am I odd?

OP posts:
Suzannewithaplan · 13/02/2015 09:21

I don't see the problem with looking people up on the internet, it's not as if you hacked into their bank account or broke into their house is it.

If you read a newspaper article about a person ?no one would accuse you of stalking them.
If you read a person's auto biography no one would accuse you of stalking them.
Why is it called stalking when we read things that people have published on the internet?

Facebook is not a secret diary. ?

cosmicglittergirl · 13/02/2015 10:23

I've been wondering whether to comment on this as unreasonable seems the wrong word, in truth I find it bizarre you would google nursery staff/teachers. I can't imagine what you'd hope to find out and what you would then do. How tight people's FB account is neither here nor there, it's the idea of thinking 'I know, I'll search for info for my DC's teacher'. Each to their own though and it seems like a lot of people agree with you. Just surprised really.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 13/02/2015 10:41

Yes, BU is not the right term, and I agree with cosmiclittlegirl bizarre is the word, but I guess it's really just nosiness, but I don't understand what information you'd get that you could possibly act upon.

Mind you, it seems a good way to make nurseries unpopular - with a few fake facebook accounts...

CocktailQueen · 13/02/2015 10:49

YANBU! Facebook is open and if they have their profiles with no security on them, then more fool them. Social media postings are being used more and more by prospective employers as you get a better sense of someone from what they say on social media than you would from an interview when they're on their best behaviour. YANBU!

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 19:34

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Isn't everyone entitled to privacy and a private life out side of work?

Yes, they are but lock it down and don't FB 'friend' any parents or pupils!
If you're daft enough to have your profile open to the public, that's your lookout. It's information in the public domain.
OP, YANBU.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 19:36

Do it all the time....sometimes I end up looking at total stranger's pages. People need to be tighter on their privacy settings!! Guilty!

me too Grin

AramintaDeWinter · 13/02/2015 20:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Suzannewithaplan · 13/02/2015 21:04

Araminter, I've just checked my FB account, it's an empty account with a random made up name, I use it just for snooping, previously I'd not noticed a 'people you might know' section, today I see that there is one.
It contains 6 people, 5 of them I know I have 'snooped' on, the other I dont think I have but then again I may have.

I suspect the algorithm which throws up 'people you may know' is a bit more complex than that.

The overarching aim of FB is to draw people in and have them commit as much time and attention to FB as possible, in particular to give info so that they can build up a detailed profile of you and then sell this to companies who want to tailor advertising to make it more successful.

They want you to work for them for free.

The degree to which your account is locked down doesn't matter too much to FB, all activity on your account can be accessed by FB, even things which you later delete are kept on their data base.
Every click you make they have a record of it.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:08

I'm also saying you are very OTT. Very creepy and very weird. What on earth is wrong with you? A job is, even looking after little ones is not their life outside of this.

I think you need to calm down and stop stalking.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:13

Im amazed at the amount of people that do this. Do you not have a life? What on earth is wrong with you?

I look after children for a living and think its bloody ridiculous how far someone will go to stalk others these days.

Private life is "Private", working life is "Work".

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:17

Have a feeling I'll be blasted in a minute for not constructing a sentence properly previously due to being rather flabbergasted and typing to quickly. Therefore I shouldn't look after children Shock

BMO · 13/02/2015 21:31

If it's private then don't put it publicly on the internet Grin

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:37

It's still a weird concept to go stalking nursery staff though. Very weird. But then I think facebook is ridiculous other than a way of wanting to stay in touch with families. Even then.

I joined facebook purely to monitor my son having it a the age of 12. I don't use it as i couldnt give a toss what someone has had for dinner. Or what they want to show off about next Grin

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 21:38

Private life is "Private", working life is "Work"

Fair do's, but it's hardly bloomin' private if you're splashing it all over the internet, is it?! Grin
If you leave your page wide open to the public, it's like physically going into your front garden and sticking a big message board in the middle of the grass with all your news/pictures/ etc on.
Some will walk on by, others will have a read!

If it's private then don't put it publicly on the internet Exactly, BMO!

Quiero · 13/02/2015 21:39

It's not "private" though if you plaster it over the internet. Fair game I say.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 21:39

Im amazed at the amount of people that do this. Do you not have a life? What on earth is wrong with you?

I have a life, thank you. I'm just a nosey cahh. Grin

Quiero · 13/02/2015 21:39

Ha sorry xpost Grin

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:40

Its still a weird thing that OP has done.

i call people that do that curtain twitchers Grin

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:43

Yes you're a curtain twitcher. Im not particularly fond of nosey people.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 21:50

Yes you're a curtain twitcher. Im not particularly fond of nosey people.

How the hell is it curtain twitching when the person is putting all their private information OUT IN PUBLIC?! Are people seriously that daft that they think it's all private or something?! Confused
If you want to be private, get your privacy settings locked down! It's not rocket science. Confused

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:53

Sad, and ridiculous.

The thought of actually "searching" peoples facebook is just pathetic.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 21:58

The thought of actually "searching" peoples facebook is just pathetic

It happens, though. As you can see from this thread. Prospective employers routinely do it. Or in the 'find friends' bit where it shows you people you may know - you can click on profiles of acquaintances, colleagues, school mums at the gates, etc.
It's up to YOU to decide what you want to put out there. It's only private if you make it private.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 21:59

My friends daughter had a "virtual" baby a while back.

Well.... once he was switched off we stuck him on the bbq to help him feel warm, we put him amongst the bushes to help him understand nature, and it continued.

Doesn't make me a demon that doesnt love children. We have a "sense of humour"

So, stop snooping and get on with your lives.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 22:00

What happens doesnt make it right.

MrsMook · 13/02/2015 22:04

I think it is unpleasant and nosy. My profile is as private as I can make it, and reveals mainly that I'm a baby bore, and go running. There's nothing exciting to unearth. What I post is what I'm willing to share with friends and family who mainly live at a distance, but the idea of a parent of those I teach or volunteer with trying to see if they can dig up some dirt is unpleasant.

It's like the difference between vaguely hearing the neighbours through the wall, and deliberately putting a glass up to eavesdrop.