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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was IBU to Facebook search the nursery staff?

147 replies

LadyLupin · 12/02/2015 17:23

I didn't think I was until I mentioned it to my sister and she was a little shocked.

Two of my children recently started pre school and before they did, I Facebook searched the 3 staff members that run it. I don't know what I was looking for really, part of it was plain nosiness and partly because I wanted to see what they were like, whether they re posted Britain First crap or had photos of themselves posing gangster style it something. I would have probably sent the DC somewhere else if they had.

I also read reviews of the pre school and all the usual stuff. I'm a little more concerned than I was when my older children were young enough to be starting out at preschool as one of my DC has SN and I've been worried about leaving him.

I justified it to my sister by saying that if they didn't want to be searchable then they would've had their Facebook accounts locked down tightly. I can only see what they have made public.

Was I unreasonable to have searched for them? Do you do this, or am I odd?

OP posts:

FightOrFlight · 13/02/2015 23:11

Prettyfeet Do you honestly think the nursery workers don't look up some of the parents too?

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 23:12

Just shows how sad things have become then doesnt it. Snoops are just that and always will be.

I will never ever understand why a normal person would want to do that. Its not a good thing to do.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 23:12

Again i will repeat that these people have chosen to have their profile public. Its their choice to have the public look at their page. You can choose to do your profile so that if people search for your name it wont show up its pretty simple to do it. Children know how to do it so an adult should too

I think prettyfeet is deciding to studiously ignore this. Yes YES to adults knowing to do this. What I find scary about FB is the amount of primary school children out there with open profiles. For the love of God, if you're going to let your child on there, keep them SAFE. If you don't know how to work FB, then either get clued up or don't let them on until they're older.
they shouldn't be on there in the first place but that's a different matter

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 23:14

Its intended for looking up people you know so thats what it is intended for.

Exactly!! Christ, if people don't know how to work Facebook then they shouldn't be bloody on there in the first place for their own safety.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 23:17

its intended to look up people you know. I get that.

its not intended to look up people you dont know.

get a grip with all this.

BOFster · 13/02/2015 23:19

I haven't done it myself, but I can completely understand why you might, especially if you are anxious about the sort of person you are entrusting the care of your child with special needs to. I would be very uncomfortable leaving a vulnerable child with someone who was happy to proclaim allegiance to groups which endorse bigotry.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 23:20

The OP doesnt "know" the nursery worker, therefore she was being "nosey" and stalkerish.

sweetsomethings · 13/02/2015 23:20

I agree Sally you need to be clued up on all these things so we can protect our children when they are old enough to have profiles. If a teacher cant work her around privacy settings when most schools have rules about this. Then if they get snooped on more fool them. Its also the reason i refuse to discuss work on my profile as you never know who knows who and what is getting back .

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 23:21

Its not a "someone" in a nursery setting.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 23:22

God, it's a losing battle.

its not intended to look up people you dont know.

YES, it IS. It is a site to primarily look up people you may come into contact with, know in the biblical sense, know in passing, or whatever.
There isn't a Facebook police siren that shouts 'nee naw, nee naw' when you look up someone you may not have known for the correct amount of time Facebook deems acceptable.
You've only just met them? How very dare you look them up.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 23:24

If it was a one on one thing then Id be concerned. I wouldnt have employed in the first place. In a nursery setting there are staff. You are obviously being a nutter and you are stalking.

sweetsomethings · 13/02/2015 23:25

No pretty feet they do know them . Its not like they have picked a random name and looked at their page.

PrettyFeet · 13/02/2015 23:26

leaving a ridiculously pretentious nosey thread now.

BOFster · 13/02/2015 23:27

Checking out social media is one of the first things that many employers do to ascertain the suitability of job applicants. Completely commonplace, so I don't see how it's outrageous for a client to do the same with a service provider.

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 23:28

No pretty feet they do know them . Its not like they have picked a random name and looked at their page

Yep, they're known.

Prettyfeet you are talking absolute garbage.

BOFster · 13/02/2015 23:28

Pretentious?

Was IBU to Facebook search the nursery staff?

SallySolomon · 13/02/2015 23:29

Just seen you're now leaving the thread - take a good dose of common sense with you as well please.

sweetsomethings · 13/02/2015 23:29

Prettyfeet it is nosey but its not unreasonable. Its what facebook is all about im sure we all love to nosey at peoples holiday pictures etc.

FightOrFlight · 13/02/2015 23:35

I often get led onto profiles of people I don't know - that's how Facebook works. Friend suggestions for people I've never met simply because they are 'friends of friends'.

I got a friend request from someone the other day who I don't know from Adam because they are FB friends of someone I do know. Turned out they share my sense of humour so I accepted them - weird feckers always welcome in my world

I don't post anything particularly 'private' on my page anyway even though my privacy settings are tighter than a duck's arse. I utilise that old fashioned thing called private messaging < shrugs >

Original poster

LadyLupin · 13/02/2015 23:40

I have been quite anxious about leaving him as he is a particularly vulnerable child. He loves it though, and he seems to really like the staff, and even gave kisses to them when he left yesterday, which, for an autistic child to do, is a pretty major thing. He's non verbal so can't say whether he is happy or not but I think it's a pretty sure sign that he is.

I can't excuse looking them up on anxiety though, that was a small part of it. It was mainly due to being curious, nosey and apparently 'nutters'

OP posts:

BOFster · 13/02/2015 23:47

I still think it's fair enough. I've got a non-verbal child with autism myself, and while I don't expect people caring for her to necessarily be towering intellects, I wouldn't be impressed by somebody dim enough to have an open page full of silly Jezza-style arguments with people, or Britain First memes. I just don't think they'd have the sensitivity required for such a responsible job.

sweetsomethings · 13/02/2015 23:48

I know Ladylupin imagine trying to find out any information you could about the people you are leaving the most precious things you have in the world with. Its totally normal and i did exactly the same.

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