...to ask MN-ers NOT to join in this glorification of domestic abuse? (contains spoilers)

[Floundering]

Fifty Shades of Shite

Can't believe the naivety and abuse deniers on here and amongst my friends.

DV campaigners such as Womens Aid & National Centre for Domestic Violence are urging people not to see this film.

It is not "just a piece of fun" it normalises abusive, controlling relationships as sexy, and it really bothers me so many women are colluding in supporting such crap that could hurt other more vulnerable women.

The BDSM community are frothing too as if done properly between 2 consenting adults with lots of planning, mutual respect and lots of affection and downtime after it can, for some, apparently be mindblowing. ( doesn't lift my skirt but respect those who do enjoy) this is not portrayed safely in this film.

lime I have consistently set out my views of how normalisation of behaviour and socialisation influences sexuality and behaviours. You can reject that if you want.

I haven't seen anyone trying to make you feel ashamed pineapple, I certainly haven't. I've seen a lot of people throwing accusations at me that I am prudish, need a good shag, moralistic, Victorian etc.

To be fair nobody has seen the film or has any idea how it will be portrayed or what will be shown so maybe we should reserve judgement until after its release

flora you were telling me that my practices are wrong and something to be ashamed to have mentioned and can only have negative things attached to it. I am lucky to be fully comfortable and happy with my sexual desires but if said to me a year ago I would have felt ashamed and dirty

Just because she said that doesn't mean it will contain everything. Films don't always remain true to the books and things have to be cut and altered. We can't boycott or trash something without watching it first

I didn't tell you you should feel ashamed of what you do. You are the one who said it makes you feel ashamed.

You feel how you want to feel. Don't ask me to be your cheerleader.

You didn't say it but that's how it comes across in what you said because you said it was wrong. I apologise when I insulted you and for making you feel ashamed. I respected your opinion the least you could do was show the same courtesy and respect and apologise it's not hard

I didn't feel ashamed when you called me a prude, I thought it was a silly thing to say because you don't know me. I asked if you were trying to make me feel ashamed and you apologised.

I think it's wrong to vote UKIP, not recycle and pour fat down the drains, I'm not going to apologise to people who might feel ashamed if we're having a discussion about that. I eat meat but I'm not going to say a vegetarian should not say it's wrong in case it makes me feel upset or ashamed.

I'm not saying pay to watch we all know there are other ways to watch films

That's fine flora I'll respect that but I will take the high ground it is nice to apologise to those who we have offended either on purpose on inadvertently but I understand your right not to. At least I was right to say we do not live in a civilised society

It's just a film and just a book if it's not your thing don't watch or read it. Doesn't glorify anything to me.

Yes societies where people flog each other for pleasure are not yet civilised. We can hope though.

This is a long thread so up front haven't read it all but no fecker tells me what I can or cannot read, moronic or not, or what i can or cannot watch. Freedom of speech. Liberty to choose.

Regarding safewords I'm pretty sure it would be quite obvious to a husband and wife roleplaying that no actually means no if she starts shouting random words like "fruitcake" or "wellyboot"... Thats not really in with the "scene" and would make 99% of partners sit up and stop what they're doing.

Yes, in the beginning its probably best to say "this is my safeword" or use red amber green system whatever, but I genuinely believe its OK to not have one if your in tune enough with each other enough to easily spot real distress from pretend distress.

So yes I think even though consent is taken for granted in these situations so its pre-given (which doesn't exist in the eyes of the law yes yes), and theres not a "safeword" to easily take consent away, I still believe that if a woman really wasn't feeling it theres quite a simple way for her to let her partner know.

No we don't live in a civilised world when people are intolerant to others feelings and beliefs, when people murder in the name of God and when people refuse to admit their own groups flaws and historical mistakes. Amount other things but this world will never be civilised because humans are incapable of it

Yes I am standing up for those on this thread who have been criticised for their fantasy role play and have called random unknown to them man rapists. Because that's not on.

House not you specifically but there have been posters telling other posters what at acceptable fantasies and what are not and blurring fantasy with reality.

maryz felt that to say you like rape fantasies is a defence to rapists and that's clearly dangerous and wrong territory.
It's on a par with short skirts and asking for it!

A woman fantasising about rape and her partner acting this out to complete the fantasy in No way suggests she wants to or deserves to be raped by anyone in RL.

I think DV charities are being truly ridiculous over this film to be honest.

Millions of women loved mamma Mia. They havnt pissed off to Greece and opened a guest house.

I haven't read the whole thread, but OP YANBU.

I'll just leave this here.

Think if you need a safe word you are probably playing with the wrong partner.

And what Hamiltoes says.

I must say a big thank you to betty and sliced and others who have helped support the legitimacy of peoples fantasies and for fighting for our freedom to think what ever we like

And if you haven't read the books you can't really have an opinion of your own it's someone else's opinion you have copied or heard.

The books are a daft piece of froth.

Lots loved them and will love the films. Each to their own op.

I always distrust those who are so offended they want things banned!

You welcome pineapple