...to ask MN-ers NOT to join in this glorification of domestic abuse? (contains spoilers)

[Floundering]

Fifty Shades of Shite

Can't believe the naivety and abuse deniers on here and amongst my friends.

DV campaigners such as Womens Aid & National Centre for Domestic Violence are urging people not to see this film.

It is not "just a piece of fun" it normalises abusive, controlling relationships as sexy, and it really bothers me so many women are colluding in supporting such crap that could hurt other more vulnerable women.

The BDSM community are frothing too as if done properly between 2 consenting adults with lots of planning, mutual respect and lots of affection and downtime after it can, for some, apparently be mindblowing. ( doesn't lift my skirt but respect those who do enjoy) this is not portrayed safely in this film.

I havent read any of the thread. I just read the op'S ORIGNAL opening statement

I agree wholeheartedly with boycotting it. Would you really want your dd treated like that?

It may be fiction... but its a bit close to the

House I'm not going to repeat what I practice but it doesn't involve a contrac.

I think this is one of those things where there will always be a debate and Spli.
I think the education system has a lot to answer for with regards to sex ed and this needs to change. At the end of the day we need to educate children in healthy relationships from a young age and then teach about sex in a proper and open way

It was long time ago that I read the book so maybe I have forgotten that bit and in which case you maybe right
I just don't think there is a need to censor what grown adults watch especially when educated corrected. Plus some people on this thread and expressed disgust and a want to be rid of bdsm in general and that those who practiced It only do so due to media influences and are by wing assaulted which I found offensive hence my excessive input

I find it a little offensive that because I really get off on being controlled, dominated etc. then it must be an abused vulnerable woman that doesn't know any better.

I have been in a truly abusive relationship. It was miles and miles different to what DH and I have now. Which actually bar the millions isn't that different to what I've heard if the books

Some women want to be submissive. It doesn't make us weak or vulnerable to go after what we want?

But there are plenty of examples of consensual practices as well.

Marketing abuse as [...] BDSM is completely irresponsible.

Well said, Hamiltoes. Great post all round.

The objections aren't new, btw. Criticism of FSOG began with book one, but there was hope Ana would see him for what he is in a later book - no such luck.

It isn't the story; it's the pitch.

Don't forget the grey has serious mental health issues as well and they do both sit down with a professional to discuss these issues

How about everyone just makes their own decision as an adult? Go and watch, and make a decision on what you think, or don't go. Or go and wave a placard outside the cinema if that's your thing

Everyone just do whatever they like. It's not difficult.

But, and correct me if I'm wrong I haven't read the books, doesn't she agree to be dominated by him at some point in the beginning?

As an example myself and dh pre agreed that anal was fine, even if I didn't feel like it at the time.

That's what I pre arranged. It isn't abuse/rape. It's what I've asked for.

But just because he says that he doesn't force her to agree she could have said no and walked away but she was intrigued and wanted to And when she does reach her limit she walks away until shend gets the relationship she wants as well

Yep, pineapple, more EXCUSES.

And, just perpetuating the entirely false myth that if you are into bdsm or kink, you're somehow broken.

They also sit individually but also it is fiction and it is offence to suggest that women can't decide for themselves what relationship they will have and will be so heavily influenced by one film surely if that's the case then those women have other issues and influences

I'm not saying that if your into bdsm your broken or that mental health excuses rape. It was however the justification in this one instance. If you had read my other posts you would have seen that I fought strongly against someone who tried to say that. Don't generalise one comment I made but a fictional character in a fictional story

Sliced read the book.

I always laugh when people say "Not read the book but I like bdsm so will probably like it", if you like bdsm you will most likely hate it.

Pre-consenting to anal is fine. Ana tells Christian its a hard limit and she doesn't consent, Christian doesn't allow this. Lots of other examples where he ignores, or argues with her over consent.

No a domestic abuse victim can't leave normally. At the end of the first book she leaves and doesn't see him for months until the second book was hen they sit down for coffee and chat. That was the moment I was talking about