AIBU: Not enjoy watching DS play soccer, rather get on with my own work or play solitaire on my laptop

[Evelight]

DS, aged 9 plays soccer. he loves it, and is very very enthusiastic about it. It is the only afterschool activity that he gets ready for and goes willingly, without an hour of bellyaching beforehand.

Their coach circulated an e-mail a while ago asking all parents to watch kids play, to encourage their child, to be involved with the game. Well bollocks to that. I often have work with me and I use the "quiet hour" sitting in the lobby of the gym (they have unusually comfy sofas) marking, reading etc. Sometimes just playing solitaire- whatever. Nobody's business, surely? I don't "get" soccer anyway.

DH loves soccer, he also take DS - he is the ideal parent from coach's pov. Really engaged, together with all the other parents yelling encouragement. Fine. Later, they talk about soccer, look up youtube clips, talk about Messi and Ronaldo. Also fine, nice father-son bonding say I.

The annoying thing is now DS has the expectation for me to watch him play. Last year he wouldn't give a hoot whether I was watching or not- he just enjoyed the game. Now he nags "Why don't YOU watch me play?" "Other parents do" "Daddy does" "I wish daddy would always take me" "Youpr efer doing your work to watching me"

Oh do shut up. This is annoying. I wish the coach, other parents, DH, etc would not perpetuate this idea that it is somehow our responsibility to actually watch the kids play- isn't it enough that we pay hefty club fees, and give up at least two hours of our weekend, driving around etc? We also have to be enthusiastically following each game?

I didn't go every week- if he got a lift with someone I had a week off. I just find it rude to be there and saying I care so little - playing in my phone is better! Looking back childhood was over so quickly and I have decades to play solitaire.

I will adapt it to 'it is part of my being a parent.'
I support the child I have rather than a hypothetical one who happens to dovetail with my interests.
Time is the most important thing you can give a child after love and security.

Why is OP's DC going to all the other activities if he doesn't go willingly? Why not drop them all and just commit fully to the one he is enthusiastic about?

I don't like watching my DS's play football precisely because of the other enthusiastic parents - it all seems so aggressive.

I do the same as you Eve, potter about and watch for the first and last 10 mins so I can wave once or twice then witter on a bit about their excellent goalkeeping/kicking/sportsmanship.

I was never aggressive! Just silent with an odd clap- but I knew what had happened. Ballet would have suited me better but it wasn't an option I was given!

mehitabel I was wondering too about the (seemingly loads of) other activities her dc are doing. Why not concentrate on the ones they like best and commit to them?

The 2 things that jump out at me are that he goes to after school things he doesn't like - if he complains for an hour beforehand why not drop them? He is the one disappointed she won't watch - she appears to think it is the coach who has put him up to it -but of course it is upsetting to have a parent who finds it so boring she is playing on a phone. The coach was pointing out the obvious.
She could save masses of time by just letting him do the one activity and supporting him. Every child wants a parent's time and attention and this in an ideal opportunity. Doing some work is at least a decent excuse - but playing solitaire is just sad for him.

But most of the time the kid doesn't have the parent's time because they're busy trying to entertain the younger sibling they've dragged along.

Surely it makes more sense for football-liking parent to go to football matches and other parent to go to other activities with other child(ren). And if they've only got one child - well they get some time for them.

I did go to most of my son's matches but lots of the mums (it was the mums) didn't. That is completely their choice and not unreasonable. They will contribute to their children's happiness in other ways.

My sons' coaches said parents had to stay for training and matches anyway (or one of the other parents had to stay and be in charge of that child as well as their own). Generally for training about 1/3 of the parents would stay and for matches it would be 2/3, a bit more for home games.

I went to the training because my husband didn't get home from work in time and I generally used to stay. So I had earned time off from the matches anyway. I used to miss most of the home games and go to the away games.

Yanbu - watching them train every week should not be expected. Makes children too self centered that every little thing has to be watched and admired. Watching the matches however I think should be done. My DS did cricket for a while but as soon as he started messing around about going to practice we stopped going. I was prepared to give up an evening to take him, and i did watch the practice, but not have to nag and argue to get him out the house on time as well. I am obviously missing the part of being a parent that finds my children's every move fascinating. I do support but so much of life is taken up with parenting and work already.

I thought we were talking about watching them play -- as in a game. I can't see why you would stay for training if they are nine. We shared lifts- someone took - dropped them off - someone else picked them up.
I also can't see why you take a 9 yr old to things he doesn't want to go to.