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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to defer or not to defer (Scotland)

141 replies

confusedinkirkie · 07/02/2015 10:55

Deferring DC1 means that he would end up in the same school year as our twins.

I am totally torn. DH thinks it would be better to be in their own class, but so many people defer that a February birthday would probably be very, very young for that year.

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 09/02/2015 16:29

scone, you don't need to mention that you're deferring when you register. Our experience was that the deputy head who dealt with our registration was very much in favour of deferring if you can.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 16:37

But if I register him now and don't tell them I am deferring, will they not be expecting him to turn up in August?

TheTroubleWithAngels · 09/02/2015 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 17:25

No, not in Glasgow but school enrolment week has passed here too now. It is nursery enrolment time here just now.

I still don't see that I am legally obliged to enrol him at primary school this year when he definitely won't be starting school till 2016. Not sure if I am being thick or just bolshie!!! It just seems to me that if I am enrol him now I am opening up the possibility of unnecessary bureaucratic machinations and the chance of having pressure put on me to change my mind (which wouldn't work, obviously, but why open myself up to the hassle?!)

PrimalLass · 09/02/2015 17:45

Because he is a December birth I guess.

beatricequimby · 09/02/2015 17:59

Remember it's not just about being ready for school at four and a half. Think about when your child is in third year, making subject choices after BGE. A feb born child is making those choices at the age of thirteen (assuming options taken in February). And third year options choices now have a big impact on Higher choices and what happens when they leave school. To me it's a strong argument for deferring.

sweetkitty · 09/02/2015 18:11

Didn't defer DD2 who is a late Jan birthday as she was ready for school, 9 others from her nursery class were going to school including her best friend from nursery and her class is a young class with over half of them Dec/Jan/Feb birthdays. DD2 has coped well and is top of her class.

But if it had been the other way round and DD1 was a Jan birthday I would have deferred her as she wouldn't have coped like DD2 did, she's a July so went at 5.1 years and still struggled a bit.

My friend has a Feb birthday 9 days younger than DD2 and she deferred, same for a boy born on Feb 28th.

There's a couple of children I've seen that really should have been deferred and really struggled to cope in P1.

There's also a few mums who are the opposite desperate to get their March/April babies into the year ahead claiming they are ready for school, this to me seems crazy. Apparently they can sit a test and you can get them to take them.

I'm glad in Scotland we have the choice as parents whether we feel our 4 1/2 year olds are ready, every child is different.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 09/02/2015 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

o0 · 09/02/2015 18:30

I didn't encounter any attempts to get me to change my mind with my Nov deferments. Nursery said my eldest was ready and my youngest didn't go to nursery until after we had deferred him but even though nursery didn't agree with me they never once said anything else about it.

I did enrol them both as usual even though we didn't take the place. It was fine.

And just in case anyone ends up in the situation we did - even if you decide to home educate but then send them to school further down the line the deferral still holds. Our nearest school head teacher tried to deny it and refused my DS1 entry into the younger class but a phone call to the council assured us that we were right.

o0 · 09/02/2015 18:34

Oh and I never spoke to the school at all when deferring. I sent the forms off (with only the parental section filled in and all the nursery sections blank) and then received a letter from the council a few months later saying we could have an extra year of funding for nursery.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 09/02/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

o0 · 09/02/2015 18:46

My youngest is only in P2 so this wasn't a long time ago either. I'm in Midlothian - seems a bit easier here for some reason.

trixymalixy · 09/02/2015 19:52

Scone, my friend decided the week before her December born DD was due to start school that she was going to defer her. She got funding for a nursery place too. You are making a bit more of this than you need to, nobody is going to, they aren't going to argue with you.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 21:19

Thanks for all the info. I've downloaded the enrolment form and will get it to the school. Glad I saw this thread as I hadn't realised up till now how the system worked. Better toe the line, I suppose! Just a bit worried now that we won't get a funded nursery place next year but we will cross that bridge if we come to it.

KristinaM · 09/02/2015 22:48

You don't have to tell the school that your child isnt going until August . Although if the school is over subscribed, it would be nice to do it a bit earlier, as it gives another child the chance to have the place

No one will try to make you change your mind .

If you don't tell them until a few days before, it will piss them off as they have made up labels for pegs and trays .

There is usually a lot of juggling numbers at the last minute for P1. Children who move house between January and August . Children who have a successful placing request elsewhere. Children who are going to a private school .

Eva50 · 10/02/2015 10:34

Remember to make sure you enrol them for nursery. My friend decided to defer her late December boy and had enrolled him in the school but didn't realise she had to enrol him back at the nursery. When she told the nursery that he wasn't going to school they were full and couldn't take him. He had to start school and definately wasn't ready. He is still really struggling at school in P4.

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