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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to defer or not to defer (Scotland)

141 replies

confusedinkirkie · 07/02/2015 10:55

Deferring DC1 means that he would end up in the same school year as our twins.

I am totally torn. DH thinks it would be better to be in their own class, but so many people defer that a February birthday would probably be very, very young for that year.

OP posts:

MimiAndPops · 08/02/2015 08:00

Fair enough! I didn't know people sometimes deferred November children too, they seen like the big ones too me!

MimiAndPops · 08/02/2015 08:01

to me* argh!

MimiAndPops · 08/02/2015 08:03

seem like* I need to go back to sleep..

nightswift · 08/02/2015 08:04

If it were me the decision would be as much about where he will be at when he is a teenager - a full year age difference makes a huge huge difference and means that he might not have the maturity to cope with peer pressure and all the decisions that need to be made in 5th and 6th year

KristinaM · 08/02/2015 19:39

You can defer children born 1 jan - 28 February and you are automatically entitled to an extra year in nursery

You can defer children born 1october - 31 December but you don't authmatically get an extra year of nusery funded. When we decided to defer our December baby ,no one could tell us how to ask permission so we didn't, we just did it . I assume nusery got the funding as we didn't pay more.

Our situation was complicated because we live on the boundary of three local authorities - child was at nursery in one, we live in another and he was going to school in the third . Both nursery and the school were the nearest to our house, just not the ones we were zoned for .

I've never heard of anyone NOT getting funding for an extra year in nursery

PrimalLass · 09/02/2015 07:30

I've never heard of anyone NOT getting funding for an extra year in nursery

I have. My friend, who works for the same council as a learning support teacher, was told no. You'd think they'd trust the judgement of someone they pay to make those sort of decisions, wouldn't you? Bottom line was that the nursery was going to be full and it would bugger their numbers.

yestheyhavethesamedad · 09/02/2015 07:50

I have deferred my youngest dd end of Jan birthday she now starts school this August instead of last, academically she was fine but emotionally she just wasn't ready it was encouraged by the school and nursery as they automatically recommend it.

KristinaM · 09/02/2015 09:31

Primal , what a shame for your friend :-(

All the more reason not to ask I think . I'm sure the nursery are happy to get the funding, if they have the place . The one my child went to was a day care type one, not a coucil nusery attached to the school ( because we don't have a nusery at our local primary )

The day care type ( sorry I don't know the proper term ) always seem to be full at the baby stage ( with parents going back to work ) but they had space at the ante pre school and the pre school stage as some parents withdrew their children and sent them to the nusery attached to the primary school

KristinaM · 09/02/2015 09:37

BTW just checking that everyone knows this - if you want to defer your child you will have to register them at then school at the usual time and then let the school know they won't be attending . This also give your child a place if you change your mind between January and August .

If its a placement request, they will probably warn you that they can't guarantee a place for the next year . You are just deferring their entry to school in general , the school can't keep their place for them , you will have to reapply next year . HTH

midgeymum2 · 09/02/2015 09:54

Would your school have composite classes? while I didn't defer my Jan born dd, which has been the right thing for her, she is part of a composite class in p2/3 where as a younger p3 she is not in the same class as the older ones (our primary has 6 classes) although she does her maths with the p3/4 class. If your school has composites this might work out well for your children, they could be in the same school year, but a different class?

SconeEater · 09/02/2015 11:06

I had a December child and was told there would be no funding for a deferred year at nursery.

I so wish he had deferred as nothing in school has been easy or given him any confidence. Now he's the youngest in his group and it still shows in some ways. At 17 he will be young to go to University in my opinion and I'll encourage him to find a gap year option.

Given the choice and looking long term I'd advise deferral.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 11:09

Very interested in this thread as we are definitely going to defer my DS (December baby) from starting this August until next August. Although he is a bright wee spark (they all are, I know!), I don't think he is ready socially and, more generally, all the research I have done indicates that it is better to wait, and that it is far better for a child to be the oldest rather than the youngest in his/her class.

We are in the process of enrolling him for another year at his nursery, but I am aware that funding for an extra year of nursery is not automatic. His nursery have identified reasons linked in with CfE outcomes (social) justifying the decision, and we will have to wait and see how the local authority responds. (Although even if he doesn't get another funded nursery year, he will not be starting school this year.)

However, I am a bit puzzled (KristinaM) at the suggestion that I need to register him at the primary school this year. He does not go to the school nursery and there is not an issue with availability of P1 places so why would I need to register him this year when he will not be starting till next year? Advice welcome!

SconeEater · 09/02/2015 11:14

Yes the problem with my boy was he was and is socially spot on. Doesn't help in academic terms though! Stuffed by the system he was.

dementedpixie · 09/02/2015 11:19

You need to register them at the school at the usual time plus submit the request for deferral. you don't just wait a year and then register them for school

Jackieharris · 09/02/2015 11:22

There were two brothers, not twins, in the same year at my school.

I don't think its that uncommon.

How many classes are there in a year? If they are in different classes I don't see a problem at all.

HamishBamish · 09/02/2015 11:32

DS1 has a Feb birthday and we decided to defer. It was fairly easy to do (2 years ago now), but I believe it's getting more difficult now (as far as still getting the extra year of funding).

We definitely made the right decision for DS1. IMO, I would defer every time.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 11:45

You need to register them at the school at the usual time plus submit the request for deferral. you don't just wait a year and then register them for school

Yes, thanks, but the usual time is either this year or next year (ie there is a parental choice because of his date of birth), so why do I have to register him this year if he is definitely not going till next year? I don't have to ask the school's approval for his deferral...

Groovee · 09/02/2015 11:47

Scone queen, you need to register them for school, then submit the deferral request. This helps with the funding for the extra year. Plus they then know they need to have a place for your child the following year.

One mum was adamant she wasn't registering but the nursery explained it all to her.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 13:05

Thanks, Groovee. I've been looking up the LA guidance for my area since I last posted and they say the same. However, I am concerned that this just gives the school/Council the opportunity to meddle with what is our decision. I think that the guidance has been changed recently (I looked into all of this for DD, also a December baby, four years ago) and I have to be cynical and say that this seems to be all about the Council trying to save on extra nursery funding for deferred entry children!

RawCoconutMacaroon · 09/02/2015 13:09

We haven't registered DS (oct birthday, deferring) for a place at the school he's probably going to go to next august (if we don't home school) because firstly, there is no legal requirement to do that, and secondly, you don't have to apply for a deferral - it is the choice of the parents, not the school or council. The funding of the extra year at nursery is really what you are applying for, not permission to defer.

I can see the point if you think you might change your mind before August of course- it will keep your options open.

Lasvegas · 09/02/2015 13:10

I hated being in same school year as my sister who was 11.5 months younger than me.

HamishBamish · 09/02/2015 14:16

Just one thing (apologies if it's already been mentioned), but DS's nursery at the time handled the paperwork. We needed to give a justification as to why we were deferring and that all came from them.

Groovee · 09/02/2015 14:39

I've never heard of a LA or nursery meddle. I have heard teachers say to parents that they are struggling to find reasons for an autumn birthday deferral but working with the parents have managed to compile a report. They often have to be negative reports which can upset some children.

When I deferred I told the nursery I was deferring and they were fine about it. Because dd is January it was sign a form sort of thing.

I've been speaking to colleagues as jan/Feb deferrals need to be submitted by us at the end of the month. We offer it as an option to parents but never force their hand. At the end of the day it's a parents decision not nursery or council staff's decision.

Groovee · 09/02/2015 14:40

In my first paragraph, upsets some parents. Not children.

sconequeen · 09/02/2015 16:11

Hi Groovee
Our nursery is handling the enrolment for extra year/application for funded place. They are recommending to the Council that he stays on with them for a year for social development reasons. I am quite happy with all of that.

What concerns me is if I have to register him with the school now and argue for a deferral with them. (DS goes to a private nursery not the school's one.) The Council's stated policy is very much in favour of sending them to school at the earliest possible date but I do not think this is best for my DS (and it flies in the face of quite a bit of recent research). I don't want to get in to a discussion with the school/Council when it is my decision at to when he starts school (albeit it is the Council's decision as to whether he gets an extra year of funded nursery place). I think I will see what happens when his nursery funding application is dealt with and take it from there...

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