TO BE REALLY UPSET BY RUN IN WITH DD'S HEAD TEACHER?

[cheekychirpy]

Can't stop shaking - I parked in the school car park and left DD2 in the car while I collected DD1 from school. Got back to the car to be met by the head teacher and given a right blasting: DD "could let the handbrake off and the car could roll back".

DD can't get the handbrake off AND the car was in gear so couldn't roll back in any case.

Just feel like shit - am I such a CRAP mother? DD2 is ill and I didn't want to get her out as it's bloody freezing at the mo.

Just want some rationalisation really; and feel maybe that the facts could have been established before I was judged.

So if schools are concerned about a child and think a referral to SS is appropriate, they're supposed to tell the parents first where possible?

That's interesting. We've been applying for primary schools this year - the prospectus for one of the schools we looked at specifically said that if a concern for a child was noted, they would inform SS directly and NOT contact the parents themselves about it.

MrsDeVere nursery staff are not always in a position or trained to know what constitutes a referral and what does not. Yes if they felt confident to approach the parents and in doing so a child would not be put at risk then fine, but the reality is that they are not confident dealing with situations like this, hence they go directly to SS. I would much prefer that than when SS are involved and it high level CP asking if they had concerns and they bring out a list as long as your arm. Time is of the essence in all child protection work.

I wouldn't have left a child that young in the car alone, either. I have to say I think the Head Teacher was right. Maybe not tactful, but right nonetheless.

What about if I am in a petrol station, have two children (one in a stage 1 seat, the other an infant car seat) and I go inside to pay.
Am I a bad mother? Usually I would leave them. Lock the door and I can see them from the shop. Certainly wouldn't dsturb a sleeping child, as my eldest has over tim fallen asleep.
Once a dad took his toddler son into the shop with him and ended up being blasted by two angry drivers behind him because they were being held up by him strapping his toddler into his seat.
You can't win!

MrsDevere firstly nursery managers are not particularly well qualified (at best a level 3 with some business NVQ) and often don't know what constitutes a referral, especially if its in a ''good area''. I would rather they called things in and took advice which may well just be ' well keep a record and call is back if there is anything else'.

Yes support and work under section 17 is the objective, however the reality with a case load of 20 - 30 kids in some LA's the majority is fire fighting under section 47.

Don't assume other people don't know what they are talking about - you may just be trying to teach grandma how to suck eggs ;)

Totally agree, this is not child protection. I wonder what people would do if they could actually see the type of cases that sw deal with on a day to basis.....

The post you refer to of mine to which you responded was stating an opinion. I did not nor have ever ''asked'' you a single thing.

''If I had known you were being disingenuous and trying to catch me out'' - what on earth are you talking about?

A curt 'my child, my car, my problem, butt out' would have done it.

in days gone by handbrakes did not have a button on the end like they do today.that is why so many of the handbrake release stories on this thread are from the posters childhoods. it would be a hell of a strong two year old to release a modern handbrake let alone take the car out of gear without using the clutch!

Why was the car in gear? That sounds pretty dangerous.

My car would roll back in gear unless the engine was on too.

Very strange OP.

A curt 'my child, my car, my problem, butt out' would have done it.

Except it was the school's car park and everything that happens there is her business.

If I was an HT reading this I'd be re-thinking letting any parents park school property; let the child and car really be the parents' problem.

Love the way the HT's unspecified "blast" on the OP has been seen by so many as evidence of rudeness, while the actual quote is neutral. In what way was it a blast, did she shout?

Talk about mountain out of a molehill!
The Head thinks you shouldn't have done it and said so. As an adult take note or ignore. I wouldn't call it a 'run in' or a case for social workers.

Personally I am very surprised that you were allowed to park in the school car park.

Children can undo hand breaks. Cars do roll. From experience.

Mine toddler sat on my hand break and that was enough.

sunny - I think your handbrake is broken . don't you have to pull it up a bit before you release it, or push a button?

I thought the child was ill. When mine were really ill they would have huddled in the same position, not been climbing around the car fiddling with things, sitting on hand brakes etc.

I wouldn't leave my 3yo out of sight, but that's mainly because I'd be worried about her getting upset. She can't get out of her seat. I do leave my 5yo though to pop into nursery, she understands that she must stay seated and always has.

I guess cars can spontaneously combust but it's far more likely, I would have thought my car will get squashed by an HGV when I'm actually driving along. Equally I could get her out and she could fall down the stairs on the way out/ get run over etc.

So I'm on the fence op, if dc was asleep and woke up....... but you know your child best.

The op says she was happily playing, "Mehitabel*, so I think she just has a cold rather than being laid out with the flu or whatever.

The HT does have a responsibility for health and safety on site.

Yes, the likelihood of something happening to a child left for 5 minutes is minimal but why risk it just to save a minor inconvenience?