TO BE REALLY UPSET BY RUN IN WITH DD'S HEAD TEACHER?

[cheekychirpy]

Can't stop shaking - I parked in the school car park and left DD2 in the car while I collected DD1 from school. Got back to the car to be met by the head teacher and given a right blasting: DD "could let the handbrake off and the car could roll back".

DD can't get the handbrake off AND the car was in gear so couldn't roll back in any case.

Just feel like shit - am I such a CRAP mother? DD2 is ill and I didn't want to get her out as it's bloody freezing at the mo.

Just want some rationalisation really; and feel maybe that the facts could have been established before I was judged.

I think the biggest risk is fire...not from a cigarette lighter but from an electrical fault.
Cars do randomly catch fire - BMW and Mini have had to recall cars due to this potential problem in the last few years. But it could happen with any car ...
And second hand cars could have been tampered with ..my brother had a car like this (kept blowing a fuse so previous owner had stuck foil in it - he had no way of knowing that had been done - not something you would routinely check on a car...)- he had had it a few months, one day he pulled up on the drive after a short run, turned it off, went in the house a few minutes later a neighbour was banging on the door - car was on fire.
They did manage to put it out with the garden hose from a distance (risk of explosion) before the fire brigade arrived...
Imagine...someone has to notice and find you to get into the car - and possibly the (electrical) automatic locking could have failed...even when you can get in you still have to then unstrap your child...
Not worth the risk of them being out of sight...

OP, chalk it down to experience, you made a choice at the time which you believed benefitted your sick child. I think YABU however but this is because professionally I do deal with instances where children have been left unattended in a car and the parent charged by Police as a result. In other cases a letter from SS is sent to patents as information is passed on from Police. I think the HT had a professional duty to raise concerns with you although I would have been embarrassed and annoyed if I was 'blasted' as you said. Tactful communication would have been better. Hope you feel better soon.

At the same age my parents left my sister and I both strapped into our car seats. We managed to release ourselves climb into the front, get the car out of gear and release the handbrake.
The car rolled backwards down a hill, hit a very large tree and was written off. By some amazing miracle neither my sister and I were hurt in any way.
Never ever under estimate what a toddler could achieve.

I still want to know why you were parked in the school car park at all. Do all the other parents do the same, or are you special?

Do you safety conscious parents ever leave your under 5s alone in a bedroom.
Presumably the answer is yes.
Are your chest of drawers and wardrobes screwed to the wall?

In 2004 2 year old twins climbed out of their cots, opened the drawers in their room and were both killed when the chest of drawers toppled over.

OP I don't agree with the bollocking you're getting here but you really should not have left your child in the car.

I don't mind if I have a chip on my shoulder from being a single mother. I have learned a lot from other single mothers who have posted on internet forums like this one, and I will absolutely say what I can to pay it forwards to others who are out there reading this thread and similar threads.

MN is full of complacent middle class mothers who have no idea what vulnerability means and will never be at risk of anything unpleasant in their entire lives. So they don't bother reading the Daily Mail or other such rags which report what happens to Other People who are not so privileged. Ordinary folks, to whom very unhappy things happen sometimes.

I am not snobbish about the Daily Mail. I do not consider it to be beneath me. I don't get whipped up into a frenzy by it, but equally I don't think they just make up all their news reports. They spin stories to wind up the readers, for sure, that's what tabloids do to make money, but it is stupid to think that those stories never happened.

So, MNers will come on here and smugly say 'that never happened.' If you are out there lurking, and you are for any reason vulnerable, you should be very afraid, actually you owe it to your dc to be very afraid and WATCH YOUR BACK. Don't say you were not warned.

Kawliga: whaaaaaat?

A woman's car was stolen with her baby in the back in my town last week! The man drove for 20 minutes before dumping the car with baby still inside. Luckily unharmed, and I don't think the guy knew the kid was in the car at first. The mum had just nipped out of it for a minute.

Incredibly unlikely to happen, but not unheard of.

If your child was asleep, I might have chanced it. Playing happily, probably not. A couple of years ago I'd had to park close to a wall so to get out, my mum climbed over to my seat. In doing so, she knocked the handbrake off with her big arse. Luckily we were on flat ground and didn't roll anywhere but it does show it can happen without being deliberate.

Kawliga this is not the telegraph comments. Link to some evidence for the utter codswallop you are spouting, or slink off thataway -->

Social worker. Been a single mother. Kawilga you are wrong.

Which town was that, SouthernComforts?

SouthernComforts I remember the same thing happening when my kids were at playgroup, 20 years ago. Apparently it was a teenager and he nearly crashed the car when he heard the baby start crying and stopped the car in the middle of a busy road and ran off. A pedestrian heard the baby crying but was too scared of being accused of abusing her to get her out of the car so he got someone to call the police and stood and watched the car till she came.

Mrs DeVere I think if someone was looking to abudct a child then hanging round where parents park cars and leave toddlers in them is an ideal place so I wouldn't risk it. As my youngest is 6ft 3 in he probably isn't at much risk but I wouldn't leave my grandchildren in the car when I have them.

If she thought either of those things she would have had NO choice but to inform the authorities.

As I said earlier in the thread no-one knows that she hasn't informed SS. The OP FELT humiliated, which doesn't mean the HT DID humiliate her. The HT pointed out a toddler had been left in a car alone and could have let the handbrake off. The OP has never clarified if the child was strapped in or not, therefore MAY have been able to climb all over the interior. I would have done exactly the same if a child was left alone in our school car park. In fact the OP would have been told NO parents are permitted to park in our school car park. It never fails to amaze me of the stupidly of some parents. In my opinion is is not fine to leave any toddler alone in a car when they are out of sight of the parent.

It's what most people do at my kids primary and yes there's a car park big enough to accommodate those that drive to pick up. Most parents, grannys etc with younger kids with them leave them in the car rather than bring for example a 2 year, 3 old across to the playground gates and the scrum that usually occurs at home time. Never been mentioned by principal, teachers to anyone. I usually leave my 3 year old in the car especially if the weathers shite.

In the real world what you did was absolutely fine! I can't see it was any of the headteachers beeswax.

When I was about 4 years old my mum left me alone in the car while she popped into nursery to pick up my sister. I expect she thought it would be just 2 minutes so would be fine.

While she was gone, I decided to play at driving, and managed to get the handbrake off and much to my surprise, the car started moving and crashed into a wall (car park was sloping). Luckily no-one was hurt.

So I think the HT has a point. Especially as picking an older child up from school is the sort of thing where unexpected delays could turn 2 minutes into 20 minutes.

Pfft. I leave my sleeping 6month old in the car whilst I pick up older child. I just pull the visor right down on her seat so no one can judge me see the sleeping baby.

YANBU. Car locked, child strapped in, 2 mins away - not a problem IMO.

Interesting. I suspect your reaction is partly driven by fear that the head teacher will do something - report you, think badly of you etc. It's horrible when authoritative figures indicate disapproval.
I can see why you did it, but I wouldn't have done it. Ds accidentally let the handbrake off when I ran into a shop to get a catalogue. Rolled back, thank god the car didn't hit anyone. Learnt my lesson.
Recently I came back to my car in. Supermarket carpark, right at the back, and was surprised to realise two toddlers were strapped in to the back. I stood and wondered what to do for a while, rang my mum, looked for an assistant, thinking that actually, a passing car could bump theirs and that would be scary. Finally mum arrived and I told her I'd been worried and she lied saying she'd just popped in. Not by my watch.

If she was going to inform SS she would have been obliged to inform the OP unless she felt by doing so she would be placing the child at risk of further harm.

Not necessarily. I have many conversations with SS in relation to children which the parents aren't aware of.

However, I note the OP hasn't returned to the thread therefore we will probably never know if the toddler was strapped in or not.