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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO BE REALLY UPSET BY RUN IN WITH DD'S HEAD TEACHER?

245 replies

cheekychirpy · 05/02/2015 16:38

Can't stop shaking - I parked in the school car park and left DD2 in the car while I collected DD1 from school. Got back to the car to be met by the head teacher and given a right blasting: DD "could let the handbrake off and the car could roll back".

DD can't get the handbrake off AND the car was in gear so couldn't roll back in any case.

Just feel like shit - am I such a CRAP mother? DD2 is ill and I didn't want to get her out as it's bloody freezing at the mo.

Just want some rationalisation really; and feel maybe that the facts could have been established before I was judged.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 05/02/2015 16:49

Two and a half? YWBU

Rainicorn · 05/02/2015 16:49

Was she strapped into a car seat? If she was then that would be fine in my book. If she wasn't, and left to play in the car, then I'm afraid I'd side with the Head.

MrsTawdry · 05/02/2015 16:50

It would reflect on the school badly if DD had met with an accident.

Original poster
cheekychirpy · 05/02/2015 16:50

Yup, thanks for being understanding...

OP posts:
Boysclothes · 05/02/2015 16:50

I do and have left DS in the car on his own at that age though. Strapped in and in view but I'm quite happy to pop to certain shops where I know the set up and that I'll be able to see him. I'd have no qualms about leaving him strapped in in the school car park, tbh. Although I'm not sure how long it takes to get a kid from the classroom?

Floggingmolly · 05/02/2015 16:50

If she had been ultra sweet instead of give you a "blasting", would you have taken it as seriously? Because you need to take on board what she said.

Your dd is far too young to be left alone in a car.

Boysclothes · 05/02/2015 16:52

If it's really two minutes, and he was strapped in, and in the school car park.... Yes I'd do it and I'd really love for someone to give me a good reason as to why it's unsafe?

redskybynight · 05/02/2015 16:52

The trouble with "it was only 2 minutes" is that picking one's DC up from school is not an exact thing. If DD1 had been late out, teacher had wanted a quick word, DD wandered off to play with a friend ... then 2 minutes becomes 5 or 10. Sounds like it was long enough for a parent to find the HT and the HT to get outside and find the car for herself. That sounds like quite a long 2 minutes.

monkeyfacegrace · 05/02/2015 16:52

I'm genuinely Confused over this.

If child is strapped in then what the bloody hell is the actual danger? Confused

My kids sit for hours strapped in as I bomb down the motorway. They don't escape/run riot. If I park outside a school/shop and pop in, I'd rather they were strapped into a metal box fully alarmed and secure?!

BuzzardBird · 05/02/2015 16:52

I actually think that MN is quite the opposite of that monkey.

The child should not have been left in the car alone. The child is ill to make matters worse. Vomiting might have been a problem as well as the obvious ones.

Inkanta · 05/02/2015 16:53

ANYWAY ..I feel for you Cheeky - being confronted and shamed by the Head like. Blimey!!

monkeyfacegrace · 05/02/2015 16:54

No its not. MN is full of bloody pearl clutchers.

It's fine to leave a toddler in the car for a few mins.

TidyDancer · 05/02/2015 16:54

Gosh. I wouldn't do that at that age. I presume she wasn't strapped into a seat? Not surprised the HT was harsh.

Don't beat yourself up though, you made a decision and it turned out to be wrong, but it's not the end of the world. You're clearly having a rough day so just start again tomorrow.

WireCat · 05/02/2015 16:54

Op, it was 2 minutes. Don't beat yourself up.
I'd have done the same.

Behindthepaintedgarden · 05/02/2015 16:54

I found a little boy of about 2 wandering around a small car park right next to a busyish road once. I took his hand and we found his mum in a nearby shop. She was absolutely shocked as she didn't realise he could undo the straps of his seat or open the door.

BuzzardBird · 05/02/2015 16:55

...and if a parent had time to go and complain to the head then it wasn't 2 minutes.

Floggingmolly · 05/02/2015 16:56

I'll bet it was nothing like two minutes... As redsky said; how come the HT got there before you?

jimmycrackcornbutidontcare · 05/02/2015 16:56

I can't believe the responses here. PPs jumping on you before you even got a chance to say it was only 2 mins. I leave my DD in the car. I wait in the car until my DD1 is brought to the carpark gate. I then get out and walk the 10 secs to the gate and return to car. It takes about 30 secs, allowing for a 10 sec hug and it means my DD2 doesn't get wet. We have no idea if the OP has a similar set up. It's not like she is parking down the street.

EssexMummy123 · 05/02/2015 16:57

It's not fine to leave a 2.5year old alone in a car if you can't actually see them - the police would take a dim view.

kungfupannda · 05/02/2015 16:58

I leave the kids in the car if I can see them. So I'll leave them in the car to go into the small local shop where the car is right in front of the window and you never go out of sight. I don't take them out of the car to pay for petrol. But if I go into a bigger shop I take them in.

I wouldn't leave DS2 in the car at school drop-off as I'd be out of sight. It sounds like this was the case in the OP's situation, so I think the HT was right to take issue, since it was on school premises.

BuzzardBird · 05/02/2015 16:58

OP hasn't said that though Confused

MrsKCastle · 05/02/2015 16:58

I assume the DD wasn't strapped in as
a) the OP would have said so by now
And b) the HT wouldn't have been worrying about the handbrake.

It does make a big difference though, strapped in = probably ok (although I still wouldn't), not strapped in = no way.

BackforGood · 05/02/2015 16:59

But Jimmy, it seems unlikely it was just 2 mins if the HT had time to either come out and notice, or if another parent had said something to them and they'd come out to investigate.

OP, yes YWBU

nousernamesleft · 05/02/2015 16:59

I would have and did do the same with mine at the same age.
As long as they're.strapped in and happy, and you'll not be long, I really can't see the danger to be honest.

ilovechristmas1 · 05/02/2015 17:00

jimmy why is your child bought to the gate and not waiting in the playground ??

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