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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO BE REALLY UPSET BY RUN IN WITH DD'S HEAD TEACHER?

245 replies

cheekychirpy · 05/02/2015 16:38

Can't stop shaking - I parked in the school car park and left DD2 in the car while I collected DD1 from school. Got back to the car to be met by the head teacher and given a right blasting: DD "could let the handbrake off and the car could roll back".

DD can't get the handbrake off AND the car was in gear so couldn't roll back in any case.

Just feel like shit - am I such a CRAP mother? DD2 is ill and I didn't want to get her out as it's bloody freezing at the mo.

Just want some rationalisation really; and feel maybe that the facts could have been established before I was judged.

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 05/02/2015 17:00

Oh, hang on, did you name change OP?

kawliga · 05/02/2015 17:01

OP, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Well, as long as we're using caps, I will shout YANBU.

You must parent as you see fit. But develop a thicker skin because for the rest of your life as a mother people will JUDGE you. They will. You will just have to follow your own conscience, which is what we all do, and be ok with your choices as long as you did what you thought was best in the situation. Never mind the facts, if you are a mother people will always judge you.

I'm a single mother so sometimes my dd does get left on her own in situations where most people would not leave their dc alone. I could list many things I do that most MNers would never do. I know the risks, I know what needs to get done, I weigh up the two things, I make my choice, and this is how our life continues.

aquashiv · 05/02/2015 17:03

She was doing her job like it or not they have to keep an eye on safety and this might be a concern for some.

I am amazed you have a school car park we aren't allowed to park within a mile of our school.

LoveAGlayva · 05/02/2015 17:03

Lots of schools don't allow parents to park in the car park. I know I don't allow parents to park in ours. I'd have said something (a) if a parent had parked in our school car park and (b) if they'd left a child unattended in it.

NobodyLivesHere · 05/02/2015 17:03

I would do the same. And have done.

seeminglyso · 05/02/2015 17:04

monkeyfacegrace ''Pearl clutchers'' - that is frigging brilliant - going to be using that one!

Armpitt · 05/02/2015 17:04

you are SHAKING from this?

get a grip

LoveAGlayva · 05/02/2015 17:04

Lots of schools don't allow parents to park in the car park. I know I don't allow parents to park in ours. I'd have said something (a) if a parent had parked in our school car park and (b) if they'd left a child unattended in it.

PrivatePike · 05/02/2015 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DextersMistress · 05/02/2015 17:06

I don't think leaving a child for a few minutes is a problem. However, I'm confused as to whether she was strapped in. For the teacher to comment on the handbrake suggests she wasn't but why wouldn't she be? I mean, why would you drive to the school, unstrap dd then get out?

BuzzardBird · 05/02/2015 17:06

Pearlclutchers has been used since Adam was a lad.

We get you Love, no need to repeat Grin

seeminglyso · 05/02/2015 17:07

Glad half of these posters don't work in child protection - half the countries kids would be in care - oh if only they knew...

OP - It wasn't a biggy - try not to get too upset about it. I would be a bit livid about being spoken to like that by the head though, but you have no choice but to suck it up.

BuzzardBird · 05/02/2015 17:08

And welcome to MN OP, you will be judged on AIBU. It is the nature of the title really.

PrivatePike · 05/02/2015 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeminglyso · 05/02/2015 17:10

BuzzardBird - I think PrivatePike already made your point ''No need to repeat Grin

MrsDeVere · 05/02/2015 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigbluestars · 05/02/2015 17:12

The police would have taken a dim view too.

I was taking my DS to gymnastics when the police came into the building as one of the Mums had left her sleeping baby in a locked car outside the building, just for a few minutes while she dropped off her other child.

THe police apprehended the women and took her to the station in police car - she was given a warning.

SauvignonBlanche · 05/02/2015 17:14

I've never got a child out of school in 2 minutes.

bigbluestars · 05/02/2015 17:16

OP- you were in the wrong.

The car may have been stolen- someone may have hit the car with another vehicle, you could have lost the keys.

I agree with the head's actions.

theendoftheendoftheend · 05/02/2015 17:19

What did the police do with the baby?? Presumably they didn't leave it in the car whilst carrting the mum of to the station and to take it with them would be ridiculous just for a 'don't do it again!'

bigbluestars · 05/02/2015 17:24

The police took the woman, her toddler ( who they pulled out of the gym session) and the baby to the police station.

You may think it ridiculous- the police took it very seriously.

bigbluestars · 05/02/2015 17:25

A father was prosecuted for doing just this and had to fight to stop his kids being taken into care.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11249091/Father-prosecuted-after-leaving-daughter-in-car-for-ten-minutes.html

seeminglyso · 05/02/2015 17:25

Currently the law states only that parents should not leave children alone if they will be placed at risk. looking at the facts here OP the risk was miniscule .

LoveAGlayva · 05/02/2015 17:27

MrsDeVere you said it was "none of her business", yes it is. A car was left in the school car park with an unattended child inside and you say it's none of the Head Teachers business? Of course it's their business. They're responsible for the Health and Safety of all school children and visitors. Parents were stopped parking in various school car parks in my area because of lazy parents letting children run into the car park while waiting in cars. A child was knocked down. So yes, it is the "business" of the Head Teacher when they're responsible for an establishment.

seeminglyso · 05/02/2015 17:28

bigbluestars - he would have only had to 'fight' to stop his children going into care if there was deemed more risk - this story is very Daily Mail - half of a one sided story. If social services became involved you can bet your bottom dollar there was more to the story that one incident! Don't believe all you read and don't forget the other side of the story will never be heard because of laws around privacy and people know that when they go to the press!

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