Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DP was overreacting?

121 replies

fadgecrackleandpop · 05/02/2015 09:37

Hi all I have been with DP for nearly 5 years now. We have a 14 month old DD together.

Yesterday morning he was looking through my old Facebook photos (we have no secrets, he doesn't have his own FB profile so he uses mine as well as my phone sometimes. We don't hide anything)

Anyway he must've clicked on my friends album from a night out 7 years ago with a group of new work colleagues. In this album are pictures of me and another man, nothing incriminating were just smiling together. Nothing ever happened with the man in question, I haven't seen or spoken to him for years and I understand that he's married now. Anyway DP saw these pictures and asked why I hadn't gotten rid of them, for a start id more or less forgotten about them and they weren't my pictures to delete.

He noticed that I still had the man in the pictures on FB as a friend and seems to think that I must "hold a torch for him" because of this.

He was going to send myself and DD to my mums last night because he was so pissed off with me. We haven't rowed in ages and this is quite uncharacteristic for him. We talked it through and have since made up but I'm still trying to establish what I've done that was so wrong. We weren't even together when the pictures were taken!! I feel like he's treated me like a cheap slapper who throws herself at men when she gets a drink down her

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 05/02/2015 09:39

He is being ridiculous. YANBU.

Arsenic · 05/02/2015 09:39

He was going to send myself and DD to my mums last night because he was so pissed off with me.

You're an adult. He can't 'send' you anywhere.

He sounds ridiculous. Is he usually like this?

cailindana · 05/02/2015 09:40

Hang on, he was going to "send" you and your child out of the house?

For having 7 year old pictures of a man you didn't date on your FB page?

ImBatDog · 05/02/2015 09:40

yes he did.

you haven't done anything wrong.

he's clearly acting like a paranoid twat, i hope you didnt make any kind of apology to him?

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood · 05/02/2015 09:40

He's being completely childish and insecure. Yanbu.

Icimoi · 05/02/2015 09:41

He was going to send you to your mum's? Why does he think he has any right to order you to leave the house?

Nolim · 05/02/2015 09:41

Yanbu. It seems to me that he eas looming for an excuse to have a row. A pretty lame one tbh.

AnyoneforTurps · 05/02/2015 09:41

He sounds like a twunt. What's he like when you talk to male friends?

UncleT · 05/02/2015 09:41

First, he owes you a serious apology. His behaviour is utterly ridiculous and completely unacceptable. Second - 'send' you and DD to your mum's?? What the hell is that?! Massive red flags here.

Original poster
fadgecrackleandpop · 05/02/2015 09:42

^^ in a nutshell yes

OP posts:
Cookiecake · 05/02/2015 09:42

No YANBU, i personally would be furious is a partner behaved like this towards me. They are not your photos and you weren't even together when they were taken, he is being utterly riddiculous. I don't think I'd even bother justifying it to him because it is just so unfounded and silly.

I think it's horrible that you feel cheap for just being in a photo with someone seven years ago. It's also very weird for someone to be that insecure about someone so insignificant.

MimiSunshine · 05/02/2015 09:42

He was going to send you to your mums? I hope you were telling him you'd be going no where.

I think you did to discuss it again, clearly you have unanswered questions about his behaviour. I'd sit done with again and ask what got him so upset and oh from there. Because that is extreme jealousy and hopefully he now realises how unreasonable he was

Lillianbellamy · 05/02/2015 09:43

YANBU. It is strange behaviour. Is he worried about something else and projecting it onto this? I don't understand what there is to be insecure about.

LadyLuck10 · 05/02/2015 09:44

Yanbu, he might be setting up an issue for something he is up to himself. You know, create an issue now for something later.
Why did he zone in on this friend when you have many pictures of other people. He's got a damn nerve wanting to 'send' you and your baby elsewhere.

cailindana · 05/02/2015 09:44

If this is totally uncharacteristic behaviour and he's not normally controlling or jealous then I'd bet my left nipple he's cheating on you.

AgathaF · 05/02/2015 09:45

Is this new behaviour for him, or is he the over-reacting type generally?

And what everyone else has said about 'sending' you to your mums? Really? Is this how he talks to you? How did you reply?

pinkyredrose · 05/02/2015 09:45

Why is he poking around on your friends photos? I think he doesn't have his own fb account as it gives him a reason to use yours and nose around. He sounds jealous.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 05/02/2015 09:46

How horrible. Send you? He should of left.
And me and my partner don't have secrets but we don't go through each other's stuff because I'm my own person with friendships and messages to people not involving him. I like my friends partners and am friends with them, but when I text my friends I'm texting them not their whole family. Sounds very controlling.

NerrSnerr · 05/02/2015 09:46

Wtf? Tell him to fuck off, and 'send you to your mums'? Tell him to fuck off some more.

YvesJutteau · 05/02/2015 09:48

Is this new behaviour from him or has he shown any tendencies like this before?

MrsKCastle · 05/02/2015 09:49

Complete overreaction.

pudcat · 05/02/2015 09:50

He needs to get his own fb page and you should change the password on yours. And the leave him. If he is jealous over a picture from the past whatever is he is like or will be like if you meet other men through work etc.

BarbarianMum · 05/02/2015 09:52

I had to read the opening post twice to make sure I hadn't missed some flagrent discression on your part. Did he not realise you spoke to men when he was around.

I can think of 3 possibilities - none of them pretty Sad

  1. He's jealous and controlling by nature and it's escalating
  2. He's cheating on you and looking for reasons to justify this to himself.
  3. Some sort of brain tumour.

I doubt it's 3 btw

BitOutOfPractice · 05/02/2015 09:52

you haven't done anything wrong OP so you can stop puzzling about that. Your DH, on the other hand, is being a utter cockwomble

TwoOddSocks · 05/02/2015 09:52

I agree with previous posters, somethings up. Either he's just an insecure jealous guy and he's only just allowing it to become apparent now, or he's cheating on you, or there's some other issue or annoyance that he's projecting onto this argument. Either way it's completely absurd.

If he was genuinely so annoyed about it he can jog on over to his mum's/friends/family member's house no way is he sending you and his baby anywhere.

Swipe left for the next trending thread