To tell you how I foiled one of those spready out men on the bus earlier?

[DaygloYellowLady]

I'm really quite pleased with myself and it was dead easy. I just sat slightly diagonally but still within the boundaries of my seat so when he started attempting to spread out his legs to air his bollocks he ended up with my bony knee stuck in his thigh with very little discomfort or contact to me. Then, when he moved his leg away I quite subtly stretched my legs ever so slightly into his space, I know this made me
just as bad as him but after years of being squashed into the window, thigh to thigh with a strange man it felt so sooo good. The best part was the slightly bewildered looks he kept throwing me as we trundled along, like that just wasn't the way things should have turned out.

Another tall woman here. On most of the seats on Dublin bus, the space between the back of my seat and the seat in front would be less than the length of my tigh bone. So I quite literally don't fit.

I don't spread my legs though. Its simply not an option if you're a woman and you wear skirts.

Instead I sit at an angle, try to go for one of the seats that has a bit more space (easier now that I live at the start of my bus route) or I stand.

It is a pain, agreed. Leg spreading into someone else's seat is not a solution. Most of the time I see it done the offending legs tend to be shorter than mine too.

Ooh ooh ooh - just thought of the best way of getting McSpreadies to close them up sharpish but I don't often use public transport, so I'm offering it up to the mumsnet masses for use:

Lean in close, lay a hand on their arm or leg, and whisper, "I'm a pre-op transsexual, so I know they don't need that much space. Close your legs now dearie."

Or put the Jelly Legs curse on them, BossWitch?

Oh no Yonic, avada kedavra is rightly deserved in these cases.

I am also composing a song (in the tune of Peter Andre's mysterious girl) to belt out at top volume in this situation. So far I have:

Oh oh oh, Mr Spready Legs
He wants to get close to me
So close to me with his legs

Oh oh oh, maybe he's got big balls
Does he have an sti? Oh is that why
He's still sitting like a fool
He's got flaming puss filled balls!

Further verses coming soon!

Mr spreader-spreader

Hey Mr balltastic, it'd be fantastic, if you shut your legs to give me room.

Needs a 'could' in the last line so it scans better.

What can we do about people who walk 5 or 6 abreast in the street when there's no need whatever to do so?

This totally flummoxes me..Yesterday..the path into school is a standard 3ft wide, two women walking towards us and I thought one would fall into line behind the other like I did with DS, but no she just kept on coming. DS jumped onto the grass...just why do people do this ?

oldraver, I usually keep striding determinedly towards them - if they don't budge I stop rather than diving into the gutter or hedge. Exceptions clearly if any of the party look in any way vulnerable.

Who would have thought that asking people to share fairly would cause such offence? How very dare we.

oldraver, yes I tend to just stop and stand there, looking them in the eye as they approach. They are then forced to swerve round. Which they usually do, grumpily.

I know Devora! reminds me of this Lindy West article:

"Douchebag supremacy is built on a long history of getting away with as much as possible – in finance, in romance, in literature, in humour, in politics, in the countless subtleties of simply taking up space in the world. If you can get away with it, good. More for you. Generosity and basic decency are favours, not obligations. It’s an isolating idea, the inverse of empathy."

I'd been for drinks after work and was slightly tipsy.

A leg spreader sat next to me on the train and spread. I got really pissed off. I spread much wider than him, taking up about three quarters of his space. He said something to me about moving over and giving him enough space. I said 'yes but my balls are much bigger than yours' and gave him a big smile. He got up and moved seats muttering something about me being a nutcase as he went.

I had a little spat in the supermarket the other day when three women were walking towards me. The one nearest to me was busy talking to someone behind her so wasn't looking where she was going. I had absolutely no space to get past them, so simply stopped dead. Talking woman turned round at the last minute and saw me and had to do a complicated little dance to avoid bumping into me, muttering loudly to her friends about people thinking they owned the place. I pointed out that there would have been no problem if she had been looking where she was going and hadn't made the assumption that everyone else would get out of her way. All she could think of by way of a response was to swear, so I smiled sweetly and thanked her for confirming everything I was thinking about her and carried on my way.

I now call them out on it, as in "Could you move over a bit please? You're making me feel rather uncomfortable" after a flight when I was a bit younger sitting scrunched up trying to avoid the man next to me, whose feet were in my stairwell for the duration of the flight, despite me asking him to move them. He wasn't even a large man. What a creep.

I've done that, Icimoi. Once a group of Spanish teenagers just marched onwards with no space either side, so I thought FFS and walked straight into them, ended up with one of them walking her head bang into my chin. She looked really pissed off but, really, she could have moved and my only option was to crouch down or crowdsurf.

But icimoi YOU were supposed to reverse, dontcha know?
I think I'd have bent down to look at something with my foot sticking out

Ah. Spanish teenagers. In crowds, on Westminster Bridge when I'm trying to get to work. Honestly, if you want commuter rage try working in a tourist hotspot. I know they're on holiday and I want them to feel welcome in our country but dear lord... this week there was a massive tour group of teenagers who were taking up literally the entire bridge pavement (it's not narrow) and forcing people to step onto the busy road to get past them!

I wasn't 'avin that...

Perhaps you need to get a red cape and wave it at them?

Oh, no, Elephants, you're going to end up with a bunch of posters who are or once were Spanish teenagers taking offence. Yet I was going to tell a similar anecdote about Italian teenagers (Princes St during the Edinburgh Festival to be precise). Disclaimer: they aren't ALL like that. Errol, the red cape idea made me laugh. Out loud.

I do same as Icimoi when the teens from the posh school crowd round a certain shop doorway near the bus stop. You'd think seeing a limping middle-aged woman with a big arse coming toward them, they'd know to get out the way. but I'm probably invisible to them.

Dadscare Your words: "What you fail to see is that a guy moving his leg on the train is being deemed a most heinous crime whilst discrimination against single Dad's warrants ridicule."

Erm, what? Utter nonsense. Moving his leg was not seen as a heinous crime at all, all the OP did was move her leg in response - tit for tat. Then made a lighthearted thread about it. Nothing heinous at all. Nobody compared it as more serious (or compared it at all) to the level of seriousness of discrimination against Dads - that would be ridiculous.

I'm very sorry about your wife, but you are not the only person to suffer a loss, and you know as little about my life as I do about yours, so you can keep your 'what the fuck would you know' and have it right back. Your personal experiences of loss, whilst terrible, do not negate the fact that women are subject to a shitload of gender discrimination, and men not so much. The vast majority of victims of serious (and in fact any level of) sexual assault are women. The vast majority of victims of domestic violence are women. Women are paid less and are passed over for jobs and promotions more, in favour of men. Fact.

Get some Counselling. My husband takes the kids to school and soft play loads, he's never been 'looked at like a paedo'. I've taken the kids loads - there's always at least one dad there without a mum in sight, it's a normal thing to see, nobody looks at them like anything.

The idea that men dominate pavements is false. A newspaper (I think, the times) sent female reporters out in a few cities to see who would not move over. It was 50/50 men women. A classic case of confirmation bias. Prob also true of people who take up more than their fare share in the tube, though I have no evidence here.

Ah but, what about Spanish men, larry?

Ah well, if a newspaper said it...

Nah, you may be right on the specific, larrygrylls - but there remains a body of evidence on interpersonal behaviours in public spaces that backs up the wider point. It's not quite as simple as men always taking up more public space then women - there are other social power differentials which also have an impact - but generally there is a strong association between social power and assumption of ownership of public space.

spready out men