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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be cross that my ds (10) was given this as a present

142 replies

voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:30

He received a three month subscription for Xbox live from a pal (2 years older).

When DH and I investigated how it all worked (we are not gaming experts at all) we were horrified to discover that this allows a gamer to play on line with anyone, anywhere in the world. Yes there are parental controls but having now done some research and asked others who have it, it would appear that language can be choice and they can be communicating with anyone online. We would also need to buy a dongle to allow it to operate.

Now what I'm most annoyed about is that the parents of this pal didn't ask us if this was ok or if we had the right equipement. If they had, it wouldn't have been an issue but they've gone ahead and got this for our DS who is now clearly desperate to play on it. Also the subscription is only for three months, so it would then mean we were left with the decision of whether to commit to renewing it or not.

I just think this is the most irresponsible thing to do.

OP posts:
richthegreatcornholio · 03/02/2015 10:34

Get a grip!

Kerberos · 03/02/2015 10:35

I think you are over thinking this.

My DD (9) has xbox live. It's not a one way trip to hell. Just read up on it and he will be fine. Honestly.

Kerberos · 03/02/2015 10:36

Lol @ rich

My first draft said that...

VegasIsBest · 03/02/2015 10:36

I bet your 12 year old thinks it's a fab present. Many teenagers use xbox live. Have a chat about sensible use (eg don't give out personal info, play with real life friends if possible), be clear that it's only for three months and then let him enjoy it.

Contraryish · 03/02/2015 10:36

I have a 10 year old. If he received this as a present, we'd say, ooh, look, nice thought, but we can't use it and pass it on to someone who could. Then my son would go off and read a book or play with some lego! No drama ...

LMGTFY · 03/02/2015 10:36

I agree with you completely.

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 03/02/2015 10:37

I thought you were going to say he had been given a dangerous weapon or such like Hmm tad over reaction don't you think?

It's a nice gift for somebody with an Xbox, which they obviously knew he had. There are parental controls and chatting can be private to pre approved friends only so no different than them being sat in the same room as each other.

I don't get parents to check in advance that my gift meets their approval, sheer madness.

SaucyJack · 03/02/2015 10:37

My oldest is ten in March and I wouldn't be over the moon either.

I'm sure it was meant well tho.

EatShitDerek · 03/02/2015 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:40

It's not just that its online. He has a Nintendo DS, he has access to the iPad and the PC, he can even play games on the telly as well as having this Xbox, it's yet another thing that means he sits on his arse in front of a screen instead of getting out and moving about.

Also, we cannot operate it without the dongle anyway so is it ok to buy a kid a present for the parents to then have to fork out another £20 straight up then even more down the line?

OP posts:
LingDiLong · 03/02/2015 10:42

I think being 'cross' is a bit harsh. I can see where you're coming from but it's well meant and plenty of other kids that age do use xbox live so it's not completely inappropriate.

Original poster
voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:43

And I don't always check all the time with parents but in this instance I think it's nuts.

Actually I don't care if anyone thinks it's unreasonable, I do and so does DH and I'm just on to rant about it.

OP posts:
sliceofsoup · 03/02/2015 10:44

I agree OP. I don't think that gifts should require ongoing participation or more money from the parents unless they have been consulted first.

Original poster
voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:45

But we can't use it! Even if it is appropriate or not, we can't use it without forking out more money for something we'd never have bought him in the first place.
It's like buying someone a saddle for a horse they don't have. Sorry only example I could think of in a hurry Grin

OP posts:
Now40 · 03/02/2015 10:45

Are you sure about the dongle? We didn't need anything extra to sign up to xbox live gold

OnceUponATimeAgain · 03/02/2015 10:45

well if you cant use it without the dongle, you have your answer there. unless he's going to buy one with his pocket money (or you can plug it in with a lan cable)

you dont have to renew the subscription, theres no law making you do it

my 9 &12 yr olds have teamspeak (for their pcs) but only have their pcs in the family computer room (there are days when we are all plugged in)

if the xbox is downstairs, and supervised, then theres no problem

LingDiLong · 03/02/2015 10:46

They may not have realised that you need a dongle. If you don't want to buy a dongle then tell your son he needs to save his pocket money or use his birthday money.

OnceUponATimeAgain · 03/02/2015 10:46

well dont use it then, unbunch your knickers

TheWitTank · 03/02/2015 10:46

I think yabu, but seeing as you don't care anyway it won't matter about the reasons Grin.

youbethemummylion · 03/02/2015 10:47

Do you not have WiFi? How does he use the internet on the IPad? You don't need to buy a dongle unless you don't already have broadband.

smogsville · 03/02/2015 10:47

OP you're bang on. I'd be furious. Bin in.

DragonfliesDrawFlame · 03/02/2015 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 03/02/2015 10:48

Presumably the friend bought it so he can play online with HIM? Just ban your DS from connecting with other players on pain of severe gaming sanctions and hang close for a bit while he gets used to using it.

TBH if he hangs out with 12 year olds, who are at secondary school, I imagine his language isn't entirely Chalet School anyway.

IHeartChristmasMoomies · 03/02/2015 10:54

Horrified? Really?

I assume you already bought him the Xbox so then it's up to you to monitor if he's on it or playing. You don't have to redeem the voucher now. Or ever. But you are being hysterical - especially as he already has multiple devices and your main objection to it is that he might play on it too much!

If you only have a dongle then just tell him you'll redeem it when he's older and you have wifi.

Original poster
voluptuagoodshag · 03/02/2015 10:54

No his language is fine and so is the pals. He's not a secondary school yet. He plays with Ds as he lives right across the road and gets on better with younger or quieter kids.

I've not read the finer print but DH says it needs a dongle. We do have wifi but it is an older Xbox bought second hand so perhaps that's whynit needs one.

OP posts: